Reflection

Tags

creative meditation, travel, universal consciousness, universal heart, vacation

I have just completed a successful week of choreography in San Francisco with Philein/Zi Ru Productions. I choreographed the remainder of the work I began for the performance with Shirley in Chicago and added two additional sections totaling 25 minutes of choreography. Not too shabby for a weeks worth of work in San Fran and then a week of work for the solo in June. I am very pleased with all three sections and the arc of the work as a whole.
The experience has reminded me of the potential I have as a choreographer and the excellence of craft that I am capable of even in the crunch of time such as I have been regularly put into to make work. I dive into my job and live it for the time that I am there entering a sate of creative meditative bliss. For lack of a better way of explaining it, I am immersed in a creative meditation where the outcome is a dance piece that speaks to the universal heart of humanity.
Again I have realized who it is I am. I embraced my life as a healer and in doing so have embraced my life as a story teller. I heal the body through technique. I tell stories through the art of shaping kinetic energy in space. The messages embedded in the imagery speak to our universal consciousness and is truly in touch with our humanity in motion.
As I have said, I am embracing what it is I am, letting go of what I am not, and having no expectations of myself to be anything I am not. I realize more and more I posses skills that are true to me just as others have their own. All of us have a unique skill set that allows us to have the kinds of lives that will bring us happiness and prosperity. The key is recognizing who and what we are and allowing ourselves to fully realize that potential rather than chasing an image of ourselves incongruent with our true nature.
Working out in the world always reminds me of who I am. Traveling and meeting people for who they are, where they are and seeing them in the very moment of now always inspires me to be exactly who I am. This past trip and work experience has reminded me that I as healer who tells stories. I belong to a tribe and have a place inside that tribe that needs me. My work is important. My work matters. All of our work is important and likewise, all of us matter a great deal in the web of community that we are a vital part of.

En Route

Racing towards the light clipping time

Tumbling through space and yet standing still in the quiet within

Patiently waiting to absorb peace in the sanctuary of home

Embracing the energy of love for the moment of cellular connect

Inspiration for the Making of Dead Reckoning

I am fascinated by the notion of an idealized path humans embark on as we face a perceived limitless future. Despite the conquering of land and sea, and even breaching the beginnings of space, we still have an incredible fascination with what lies beyond our imagination with an insatiable quest to overcome it. We have taken incredible scientific journeys both inward and outward, micro and macro, and now stand at the precipice of a remarkable moment in time. It is my belief that now is the time for a spiritual journey; a deepening of the spirit and a conscious understanding in order to remind us not to escape the present moment while seeking a vision of the future at the expense of Gaya. 

We must be sky travelers of the heart as we map the inside and outsides of our reality. We must embrace our own celestial bodies as we explore the edges of our internal and external realities. The exploration of human beings must shift at this very moment and not focus on conquering the eternal reaches of our expanding universes, but rather conquer ourselves realizing our place in the vastness of this space and time. In our past desires to conquer we have done a great deal of damage not only to our environment but also destroying and wiping out many lost tribes and cultures. We must not forget that now is the time for an internal journey so that we may set right the present while adjusting our sails for the heavenly future.

Because You Can

Today I will move mountains. Not because I have to, but because I can. What I see before me is not something to be overcome, but rather something to be absorbed and experienced. What seems insurmountable for others is for me as sustainable as breath itself.

To engage in the acceptance of our challenges is to find the magic that lies deep within the process of allowing strength and courage to bubble up to the skin. At this moment of release we find the body more porous and open. We are free and fluid embracing that we are not solid and that we resonate with a bounty of energy that is a part of the creative flow of everything around us and that which is beyond.

We find our connection to a greater thing; a greater life force and energy that is there for our support, happiness and well being. We understand that we are not alone as our human energetic tentacles reach out to all living things around us. So when you see yourself facing a challenge, know you are not alone and that you are able to move mountains. Because you can.

Giving Up Maps

Tags

Ballet, choice, choreography, Dance, gay, individual, journey, love, love between m, Love Between Men, Maps, Modern, path, road, travelers

I gave up following maps a very long time ago in favor of the luxury of following my heart. I prefer the guide of the hills, caverns and rivers of blood pulsing inside my chest to the two dimensional land forged by others.

Although we have followed cartographers scribbles so as not to lose our way in space, the same is not true of our individual journey with love. There are no maps for that landscape, that path. There is no one who has traveled before to show us how to journey west as our north is, and will never be, understood by others.

Containment

I was reminded of the first rule of magic today. It says that in order for magic to exist, it must be contained. This reminded me of the need for creative people to allow for a space that encourages the magic of creativity to be allowed space to flourish and grow. There must be an environment within which the artist is allowed the ability to freely tap into the flow and wonder that allows for the magic of creation to happen.

Recently, after finding the courage to start blogging, I am finding myself being able to create my world by inviting people with whom I trust to share in my process of becoming. In doing so I am finding courage through their encouragement. I am finding flow by their supportive permission.
It may sound odd that I use the word permission, but in many ways, when we write we do search for approval. Lord knows this approval or rather disapproval has kept me from writing for a very long time. Maybe not from writing per say, but certainly from sharing those words and thoughts with others in fear of their disapproval.

I think no matter what station in life you are, all creative beings have this fear.  This block is what creates many of the worlds creative blocks keeping magic from being shared and absorbed as the arts should be. I wonder how much magic has been lost out of fear and heartbreak?
For myself, I realize this has not only applied in my writing, but it has also applied to my creative life as a choreographer and creator of many other things. I can recall many times in which I have been afraid to speak clearly in movement or to be able to share my insights into the physical well being of the body due to my fear, disapproval from others or rejection. This anxiety is certainly no way to foster, support and allow for the creative bliss and magic.
So today I begin a new work. Today I begin mounting a new and rather large work on a company in a very little amount of time. To be transparent, the time is not the issue for me. What is the challenge is the question of my ability to make a good work. So why is it that this fear is present? Why is it sitting next to me sharing coffee while it should be outside begging for change?
My challenge I set for myself today is to create the containment needed to allow for the magic of dance to work through me making a work I am pleased with and that pleases me in the process. My goal is not to make a great work but rather to make a work that makes me just a little bit better of a person. One movement at a time, weaving magic, weaving life.
I will not concern myself with what the dancers are thinking. I will not concern myself with whether or not the director of the company likes it. I will not concern myself with what those who view it’s premier in Beijing think.  All I will concern myself with is giving myself over to the magic. It is my job to create an energetic environment with which magic can flow and prosper.
Perhaps if I find this enchanted contained place, my heart will find a sense of peace and pleasure for this process. Perhaps if I am able to find this way of working and being, I will find the very same courage to deepen my practice of writing. Perhaps if I am able to find this supported place of flow, I will be able to reveal even more of what EBAS is with an even larger audience

If I can manage to move in these directions,my hope would be I will be an even better teacher. Perhaps I will be able to foster and encourage containment for my students. Perhaps I will be able to be more supportive in seeing in them what they have to offer and the magic that lies within. Perhaps I will find better ways of letting them know the bliss of magic is them.

Letting Go of the Facade to See What Is

Tags

Ballet, Believing, Courageous Vulnerability, Creativity, Dance, Energy, Magic, Modern, Seeing, Stepping, Teaching, Technique

So much gets lost in translation when we process movement during the training experience. What our eyes see is not really the reality of what is happening during the activation of technique or the expression of any of our dance forms. It is curial that we see the blue print but in the building of the sensations for activation it is essential we remember the effort used to create movement is very different than what the facade might look like.

 

This is also very true when we move to teach dance. Training by façade does not necessarily train functionality. How the body actually works to express technique is very different than how the body functions in an isolated joint action or muscular contraction. We have to remember we are an integrated facility that functions only when we are able to find anchors that balance our energies throughout our entire body and understand our physical relationship to space.

 

Undoubtedly, when I find myself not having success with a certain technical experience it usually reminds me that there is some part of the energetic equation that is not adding up allowing me a grounding anchor for the proper expression of that technical moment. I have to pause for a moment and remind myself that not only is there what I see happening, but there is also the work going on underneath the surface of the movement that is far more important than the actual gesture.

 

In identifying the grounding elements, which very often is the standing leg as well as the expansion of the spine and directed energy of the arms, I find myself understanding how the movements are truly supposed to feel and then in comprehending that, how they reflect to the observer seeing the movement. Often, as in almost always, it is never what my mind translated when I first absorbed the movement with my eyes.

 

So how do we begin the process of understanding movement through sensation? One of the primary ways is to stop looking at the movement as a picture, position or map with a destination point. If we can see the pathways of movement and how movement transitions, we will more readily see our bodies begin to fall through space expressing the desired movement rather than trying to manufacture a static moment that is more honestly like a motion picture full of tiny moments strung together via a body falling through space.

 

Secondly, if we do not concern ourselves with how things should look from the moment we begin to play but rather how they feel, we will find that the form will most certainly follow the functionality of the movement or the technique. This is also why when learning movement it is crucial that you simply move rather than trying to achieve perfection of form before you have even experienced the type of energy needed to do said movement. Most learners hold themselves back from the visceral experience not allowing them to trust in the wisdom of the body. The mind thinks to much holding the body hostage during the learning process.

 

Lastly, if we are to let go of our ego while learning we might see the material for what it is and not for what we want it to be or think it should be. Many times in activating the proper movement for understanding technique we must do it as is rather than thinking we need to do 6 turns or legs must be a certain height. All too often we are searching for validity in how high or how much rather than valuing things for what they are.

 

And would that not be the same for us in our own lives if we could stop, see what it really is and the experience it with the feelings that it will allow? If only we could let go to listen to what is really being said so as not to lose the information during our translation. Perhaps ultimately what we really need to do is stop trying to translate at all and just simply accept and absorb what is.

Mindful Stepping

Tags

Ballet, Conscious Living, Dance, EBAS, Energy, Mindful Action, Modern, Stepping, Technique, Weight

We underestimate our step. We forget that the way the foot falls to the ground and the way our body weight shifts throughout the bones of the feet is truly the first and foremost consciousness of the dance. We have become so busy with the pictures and “results” that we have bypassed one of the most crucial elements of movement; weight shift.

There is a mindfulness that must be attended to in the step, a graciousness of body that must be sensed as we engage our tactile beings with the floor. This very sensibility is what helps to keep our connection to the earth strong as we move about space. The premature push for elevation pushes a body closer and faster to the crumbling of the very foundation and grounding that we as dancers seek.

I believe we need to encourage taking time to sensationalize the step. To foster the importance and necessity of the integrated active lines of energy that is engaged when the right transference of weight and balance point is achieved through taking a mindful step.

Vision the body feeling the floor through the feet while drawing the earth energy up through the bones opening the channels of the body. Feel that energy enliven the systems and expand the spaces within. Activating channels and freeing highways of breaks or blocks will increase efficient central nervous system communication greatly enhancing the body’s ability to fire the right intrinsic musculature rather than the extrinsic groupings that prohibit efficient integrated kinetics.

Step with consciousness and understanding. Live with a lighter carbon footprint but dance with the weight of the world.

This Night

Tags

Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Giving In, Love Between Men, Soul to Soul, Vulnerable

For those of you who don’t know I am embarking on a creative endeavor of expression through my writing. I have been spending a great deal of time over the past year in meditation and practice. For so very long I have feared writing. Feared the vulnerability of revealing my inability to express myself through written word. In the writing of the EBAS manuals and the book “Shaping the Creative Space”, I have come to realize that perhaps I do have something to share and that if I can find the courage to write, I could. So I have.

The interesting thing about this process is that I have begun to understand my voice as a writer and ironically deepen my voice as a choreographer and teacher. The written word seems to be creating a bridge from my brain to my heart allowing for a deeper expression and consciousness that feels like tapping back into something much larger than the isolated self. Ironically, the spending of alone self time to write and practice the art of writing seems to be reconnecting the self back to the whole. A collection of words artfully placed with the vibrations of the heart make connections in ways the right brain simple cannot manufacture.

It is with great pleasure that I share with you my desire and goal of writing novels as well as, with permission of my creative partner from the story below, lay down the children’s stories we wrote so very long ago. It is with pleasure to share this little tid bit of writing as it reminds me of the ability to love, be loved and share love in a creative and compassionate way. We are capable of bliss. Daily bliss. Enjoy!

This Night

It is a rather cold and windy February winters night. The wind sweeps in off the lake three blocks to rattle the windows that run along two sides of the third floor apartment we are share. It is rather late and both of us are eager to crawl into bed so as to intertwine our limbs and share the energy and heat of our bodies as we nest on this crisp black night. Just the very thought of weaving our bodies together fills my spirit with warmth that somehow always manages to keep the cold at bay.

Despite the cold the two of us begin removing our winter wear as we share an intimate moment of revealing ourselves to one another. I love watching you undress as it always takes my breath away to see the magnificence of your angelic body tattooed with butterflies and fairies. I marvel at the dichotomy of the tattoo and the sweetness and magic of its imagery. It is the very thing that draws me closer and closer to your heart while at the same time driving my insatiable desire of your flesh.

Both of us naked we fold down the covers revealing the sacred place of our rooting. This space is the space of our entanglement and the garden of our sensual and carnal pleasures. Somehow there is always a glimmer in our eyes as our raw bodies crawl into this shared cocoon. Perhaps after sharing the night in this chrysalis we too shall emerge in the morning as butterfly lovers.

This night we find ourselves sliding between one another and folding ourselves together for an embrace to melt our hearts. This night we lay there facing the ceiling of clouds as we float in the cerulean room of dreams. This night we, for some reason, begin to share stories. I start by laying down the first few lines. You pick up where I leave off to deepen the plot and develop the characters. We pass this tale back and forth along with our giggles, sighs and sweet kisses. It is this night we begin what is to become a ritual for us on nights when we need a breath from the passionate love making and the escape from our daily lives.

It is this night that ironically begins the foundation and process of our children’s stories. It is a collection of collective story telling between two lovers. Two lovers with the hearts of children and the imaginations of dreamers weaving tales of magic, love and wonder as our naked bodies lay under the covers like roots from the creative tree of life. It seems rather poetic that two lovers in sensual embrace could mystically craft these beautiful children’s stories. Perhaps this naked vulnerability is the recipe for creative flow allowing for a primal connection while tapping into the greater creative collected consciousness.

It is this night that I fall in love with you again. A night where I realize that no matter how bitter cold the evening outside you will always be the warmth in my soul keeping the magic alive. And it is this night that will etch its imagery like the tattoos on your skin onto the walls of my heart. Two butterfly lovers keeping my heart a flight.

Hello world!

Tags

A First, Courageous Vulnerability, Magic, New, Welcome, Why Not?, Wonder, Writing

Just like you said it would be, easy. I am sitting down to write my first of what hopefully will be many posts. As I have spent the last year and a half in contemplation over much shifting and changing, this is now the outcome of that process. And so it is, I am here to share and to stand in courageous vulnerability as I press the keys bringing word to page.

I have no direction at present but the direction that I face, moving through, moving forward, moving on. As my life is rather full of creative endeavors I will most likely be writing about many things from dance to healing as well as navigating the stars of my life. I am sure through the sifting through of space and time I will come to some kind of focus be there conclusion or not.

May the word bring you as much joy as it has been bringing to my life and may I honor the voice within in doing so.

Cheers to you and to the universe we live in as we all traverse this magical thing called space and time!