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6/8/21

After pulling myself out of my little shame funk for writing yesterday it felt good to make some lovely decisions to get back some focus and positive energy in order to face the wind again. I took some time to have lunch, get a manicure and pedicure and get my eyebrows waxed. It was strange after over a year of not being able to care for myself in those ways but it was a strange return that really shifted me in unexpected ways. 

I couldn’t have realized how much NOT attending to those little desires makes one feel disconnected and oddly not proud of one’s appearance. It made me wonder how much of these little unnoticeable things that slipped by all of us so quietly but had profound negative effects that we didn’t even realize were building up? 

I for one felt like I did pretty well with dealing with the stress, isolation, lack of personal contact, intimacy, self care and the whole rewiring of our existence and experiences. What was odd after yesterday is that perhaps the warrior kicked in and squelched many of the very important “little” things that help keep us focused, grounded and confident in who we are. That was mind blowing. Perhaps I was not as balanced as I thought I was. 

Needless to say, it felt amazing to pamper myself and feel as if I was me again. I looked at my eyebrows and said “there you are”! It was rather nice actually. 

This morning I was having a profound sense of presence going through the morning rituals for me and the boys. One of the things that crossed my mind in the doing was a little whisper of “for my life”. It popped into my mind to take a moment before I do anything and ask myself or claim a moment. Is this good “for my life” or am I doing this “for my life”? 

I continued through ritual actions and felt a profound awareness and presence wash over me. Instead of being on autopilot I was present and aware of actions validating and honoring while building positive momentum. This shift opened my awareness up to do even more things “for my life”. 

It opened up an opportunity to ask the questions of myself of making all my decisions with this very small sense of awareness. I am choosing to do this “for my life”. Is this good “for my life”? Will this be something that adds to a life well lived? Are my actions even good for your life or the lives in which I touch each day? How might this simple rewiring affect all aspects of my life?

And so this is how this morning went and I am feeling strangely inspired, connected and empowered. I am interested in seeing how much this shift changes my day, adds to the goodness of the day and creates change “for my life”. I’ll be sure to let you know.