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6/9/21

As I sit down to write today I realized how much I enjoy writing in the morning than at any other time in the day. I also realized that the morning holds a wonderful quiet and peace for me than at any other time of day. Recognizing this reminds me that perhaps this time of day is the most important and productive time for me and that I should keep that space sacred for myself and give myself and the work I do to this time. 

In some of the work I was doing yesterday that was on my to do list, I also noticed a shift in my connection to that work. I breezed through much of it and had a strange sense of ease and joy in facing the wind of my work. My habit is to procrastinate out of fear and uncertainty but with a change in focus and a new habit forming, there is a shift in confidence and connection to a lot of the other work I am doing as well. 

The shift yesterday in perspective regarding the question of is this “good for my life” added to this ease as well. Yes, getting things done and out of the head space with worry eases up space for joy. Funny how when we remove the worry, stress, fear, shame and any other noise of emotion that lives in our head and heart space, we open a place for joy, wonder, light, creativity and love to be. What a great way to think about letting go of the negative clutter; letting the heaviness of the dark drain open a space to be refilled with light. 

Of course being able to do this is not an easy task. However, if we allow a little space for ourselves we may give our bodies, hearts and minds a moment to make a decision to let go rather than react, respond or speak. Is it possible for us to create a small moment in between to quiet, allow and empty ourselves and create the opportunity for the refilling of that space with light? Is it possible that we can give the people and animals in our lives that space as well? 

It is a really nice thing when we not only give ourselves the space of time, but we give other beings this space and time as well. I like to think that if I am capable of creating a “distance” I am capable of welcoming love in that distance to bring us closer. It doesn’t seem like it should work that way, but if we allow ourselves and others the space, time and courtesy; we diffuse the tension, release the stress and let go of the need to be right, win or come out on top. 

Why is it that the ego takes over and we feel as if we have to make ourselves feel better by destroying someone else? Why do we as a culture feel as if winning is all that matters? How come we can’t be happy with simply doing our best, not responding or reacting and letting the dust settle to reflect and then respond out of kindness? 

This space has been doing me a great bit of good. Learning to rewire the moments in between and giving myself a break, a pause or a silence in order to let go and drain the negativity as opposed to letting it pour over the edges spilling into other unwanted aspects of our lives. If we are no longer spilling we then are draining and that is the goal. 

This new connection of honoring my morning rituals and giving myself this space to write, reflect, connect with the boys is giving me momentum for that space. Recognizing when I am at my best and giving myself the opportunity to be my best creates space for me to practice throughout the rest of the day. 

I have a strong sense of gratitude for being present to make those good choices and to pause to see if the action is good for my life and letting myself refill with joy. So for myself mornings are the time for draining and refilling. The opening for the release. The quiet for the rewiring of ritual. The little sacred space for nothingness.