A Prayer of Release/A Prayer of Welcoming

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, changes, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Energy, faith, fear, forgiveness, healing, health, heart, heart path, humanity, inspiration, letting go, light, listening, love, peace, Seeing, soul, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Understanding, universal heart, Vulnerable

Where there was fear before

There is no more

Where the was pain before

There is no more

Where there was shame before

There is no more

Where there was guilt before

There is no more

Where there was heartbreak before

There is no more

Where there was anger before

They is no more

I release these energies that have held me hostage for so long. I release these energies that have crippled my dreams, broken my heart and have alas broken me down. I release you all and open my heart to the unknown.

Where there is no more

May there be love

Where there is no more

May there be peace

Where there is no more

May there be light

Where there is no more

May there be hope

Where there is no more

May there be healing

Where there is no more

Let there be magic

Open Roads Meeting The Feet

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, changes, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, faith, heart, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, lessons learned, light, listening, Magic, observations, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, thoughts, universal consciousness, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being, Wonder

Throughout my life I have had the wildest belief that I would always be ok. I never really questioned how I would make it or get along for myself. Faith just seemed to be something that was akin to the essence of who I was that to question never crossed my mind.

Living in the moment with the belief that life would take care of itself has always worked out even if I had no idea where I was headed. As a young adult I just followed my heart in everything I did and fell into roles, opportunities and career paths. Because I listened to my heart, the path listened too.

I had no idea dance would ever be such a big part of my life. No clue that I would end up where I am today at this moment helping other movement lovers find their bliss in a body falling through space. Not to mention helping folks find their voice in the creative art of dance making. But somehow, by listening to the heart and believing in life and therefore myself, I am here.

Most of the opportunities I fell into were simply because I chose love over someone else’s path or traditional professional trajectory. Not in the least bit. On the contrary, I just fell. And when I did fall, all I did was learn to listen. Despite the challenges or hardships; listening was the way I was able to make sense of it all.

And fall I did; on my face, my hands and knees, my back, my front and tumble upside down at mind numbing speeds. I fell and was always caught by love. The heart always seemed to land me on my feet and just before the landing being the path underneath me once again.

I never dreamed I would be in dance. Never dreamed I would be a healer. Never dreamed I would be an artistic director. Never dreamed I would be a professor. Never dreamed I would travel the world because of it. Never dreamed I would create an alignment system that would profoundly change so many peoples lives. And yet, I continue to choose to fall.

And now, it seems like it is time for another fall. It feels as though I am on the edge of a release to once again change my own world simply by having the faith to say yes and to once again accept that the universe will always care for me and surround me in love. I have always walked with angels by my side. This I know.

And so it is with this fate that I open my heart to say yes to whatever opportunity might come my way. Whatever will fall into place and into an existence that is so unexpected and so undeniably right now; then so it shall be. I choose to fall and I choose to once again be placed on a path that will most certainly change my world and perhaps others as well.

When All is Lost, Sit.

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creativity, Energy, faith, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, lessons learned, love, meditation, sitting, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being

I believe I have about hit that wall where there is nothing much more to give, do or believe possible in this current reality. At several moments during this day I had to simply shut down in lieu of any other response. With nothing left, no answers to what to do next, I did the only thing I could think of; sit.

After all of the remembering to breathe. After all the forgiveness, the only thing left to do was to sit, close the eyes and let go. And so I did.

Even though I have been sitting in meditation for over 160 days, knowing it has been the only thing that has gotten me this far or kept me going; I still have not been able to embrace the kind of reality change necessary to find the freedom that my spirit desires and that my purpose matches.

I realize that if I am to really find what my heart and spirit is longing for and has been longing for, I have to find a new way of being and living in this world. It is time for a new way of participating in my life and to let go of the many habits and patterns that have not been serving me for some time. It is time for a dark night of the soul kind of change which will shift the understanding of myself and challenge the way others have perceived me for so very long. It’s time for a new life.

Do I know what this life is? No. Do I know how it is all going to happen? No. But what I do know is this current reality is not supportive of the peace my spirit craves and the love that my heart also craves to be in alignment with who I am. And in truth, who I have always been but have sacrificed for the past twenty years.

Do I regret the journey? No. Much has come from the path I have been on. And yet, at a very high price. Much has been accomplished. And yet, much has been lost. Much has been shared and many lives and bodies transformed. And yet, fighting to make that happen has been incongruent with who I really am.

And so I sit today to let go. I sit tomorrow to let go and listen. I sit the day after and beyond to quiet my mind, still the heart, forgive myself and wait for the whispers of the Universe to reach out and take hold of my hand. After all this time moving, sitting is really where the salvation is.

Celebrating Change

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, choice, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Love Between Men, loving, patience, peace, Soul to Soul, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being, wellness

There is a lot to be said for navigating dark waters. It’s scary. It’s difficult. There never seems to be movement forward. It’s exhausting both physically and mentally. It often feels as if this is the worst thing that could possibly be happening.

Yet, ironically, this is the best time. This is a time of the unknown. This is literally a gift that is signaling immense change and immense growth. This is actually a time to celebrate. This is a time of great healing that will transform your life for the better and create a new opportunity that will welcome joy, happiness, love and light.

This is your time. The is the time of new beginnings. This is a time of storing the murky water to actually allow it to settle more clearly. It is not the time to fight or to struggle. That never works in quick sand nor does it work in times of darkness. What does work is a change of focus and a change of mind.

Softly begin to shift how you see things. Gently allow yourself to celebrate your courage to actually welcome change. Recognize that you are a gentle warrior and your sword is that of love. For no matter what is happening, love will always pave the way with grace, dignity and light. No matter what, if you choose love as your point of view, at the end of your struggle you will be left with the love you invited in. And trust that love always wins. Especially when it comes to the love that is meant for you.

Fear Not The Sharing of Your Heart

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, dreams, Ecstasy, Existence, faith, fear, forgiveness, growth, heart, heart path, hope, inspiration, journey, joy, love, Magic, sharing, soul, spirit, universal heart, well being, wellness

Fear not the sharing of your heart, it is what the heart is made to do.

The heart itself has its own protection due to its magnificent design. The pericardium surrounds the heart encasing it to let it do it’s work.

So fear not the need to hold back out of fear or rejection; your heart is safe.

Since it’s very first beat, it has been sustaining you and pumping energy, breath and life. It keeps you in the flow and pulse of being simply by being itself. It has never given up on you.

So fear not the hearts fortitude and it’s commitment for keeping you well.

Throughout all of your early relationships, your heart automatically knew how to make connection as you entrained and grew its own magnetic field.

So fear not the hearts ability to connect and draw those close with whom are willing to listen.

Despite the conditioning of your journey; cultural, systemic or human dogma, your heart has always instinctively known who you are, dreamed to be and known you could be. It beats as your own innate drum.

So fear not standing out from the crowd and making the noise of your creation; the unique vibration, your unique vibration of love.

Even if folks have come and gone and life has not blessed you with the love you dreamed, there has always been love and will always be love surrounding you. In fact, love is the pericardium of your life. Love us in fact a magnetic field surrounding and connecting and protecting your very physical and energetic self.

Fear not that you have hurt and felt the pain and sorrow in which often is sustained by deep heartfelt connection; the heart is never scarred, only the ego.

Know that the heart will always beat in your favor welcoming the best for and wanting to connect with others. Know that it is up for another journey with a spirit who is willing the adventure of joy, bliss and ecstasy.

Fear not the sharing of the heart, it is the gift of connection that we are given to speak our story and change our world.

Dreaming the Divine

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, letting go, life, light, listening, love, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

Let me dream the divine so that I accept the divine as mine.

May I know the oneness of both the divine self and the self I have held hostage due to the ways of the world.

May this awareness and knowing grant me the courage to let go of being held hostage and allow myself to have faith in the divine being I am.

Let me accept the divinity as the self and trust that the energies of the universe flow through me, transform me into my highest self and reconnect me to all that is and all that has ever been and ever will be.

140 Days of Sitting

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body, change, changes, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, development, Energy, faith, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, learning, letting go, life, light, listening, love, Mindful Action, patience, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Teaching, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Today marks the 140th day of a meditation practice that I began as a 40 day challenge. To say that this time has been transformative would be completely denying the fullness of what sitting in peace has done for me. I am incredibly grateful for choosing to sit and practice my spiritual journey and do so with a commitment I have not had in decades.

Somewhere along the way of becoming I got lost in the going. Dreams, desires and societal and cultural expectations simply knocked me off balance. That of course is understandable when we succumb to the illusion of the busyness of being. We are sold that to be busy is to be successful. To be busy is to be validated. This is especially true in academia where I live to butter my bread.

Drifting through a sea of disillusionment it is easy to get lost when the goals are not congruent or in alignment with the true vibration of you. We think to know and yet what matters most is that we should feel to know and better yet, understand. And as the rocks tumble in this avalanche of despair we are seeing all around us, we see and feel how fear seems to be getting the best of us.

I made a conscious choice to heal while Covid ravaged our very existence. In a time of heightened fear, I chose freedom. In a time of chaos, I chose quietude. In a time of heartbreak, I chose healing. This is the key element in allowing ourselves the time and space to heal ourselves of the hurt, shame, trauma and fear that we have been collecting as well as spreading. For one can’t but help hurt others of in fact they are hurt themselves. Choosing to break the cycle of pain takes the courage to make the choice for change.

I realize not everyone believes in meditation nor is it part of many belief systems. Yet, what is part of all spiritual paths is the simple thread of the power of love that is woven through them all. For me, meditation has been a way to return to loving myself and therefore all those around me. Perhaps your path is different in the form of finding oneself, but regardless, sitting in meditation and opening the magnetic field of love that emanates from the heart is what allows for magic, wonderment and awe.

There have been many transformative, synchronistic and enchanted moments during these past 140 days. For this my heart is grateful. My body is also grateful. In addition, the energy I live in continues to make me giddy with ecstasy like I have not felt in years.

From where I sit now, all I can see is possibility. As I heal, I grow. As I grow, I become. As I become, I am able to welcome all that is in true alignment with the most beautiful vibration of me and the me that I can be. I accept and allow to do more good, no, more great in the world. I have it to give. And so I shall.

When The Heart Is Open, There Shall Be Blooms

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, energies, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, love, Love Between Men, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

It occurred to me today after a spin through the house that there are more orchids in bloom at one time than I have had in a long time or can even remember. It moved me quite a bit when the flash of insight passed highlighting that perhaps it could very well be due to all of the opening and blossoming of my own heart.

Could it be that the orchids are all reflecting/mirroring what it is I am feeling with all of this glorious heart work and healing? Could it be that when our energy shifts into the space of unconditional loving in all aspects of our doing, being and actions that the same energy is felt in the orchids themselves?

A wave of gratitude and grace passed over me and in fact a swelling of even more love seemed to fill and in fact overflow from my heart. And now, every time I pass one of them my heart seems to grow that much bigger and the arteries seem to flow with a freedom simply for admiring their beauty and their joy.

It made me wonder if in fact I might be in bloom again myself. Meaning, I wonder if I appear with that kind of beauty and grace to others who know or don’t know who I am? Oddly I had a young man chat me up last week and called me hottie Scottie. Struck me as a little odd but tickled me as well. Much like I am tickled by the beauty of the blooms I share my space with today.

I wonder how much more beauty can be shared by myself and the energies of my space? I wonder how much unconditional love I am capable of letting flow through this unabashed heart? I am giddy with the notion of thinking that perhaps this kind of love and energy is in fact endless since love is eternal.

Oh the joy of giving ourselves over to love and letting love be the champion of all of our lives and all of our dreams. So much gratitude for feeling the hope of love eternal once again and for finding the courage to open up and be vulnerable despite the moment of living we are currently in. May there be an endless flow for you and may you see your own beauty and grace reflected back to you in your own transformative blossoming.

Possibilities Abound

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, development, Dream, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Magic, Mindful Action, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Since Covid I have found myself giving over to healing from so much of my past that I never allowed myself the time to heal from. Despite the horrific tragedy of the pandemic and all of the lives lost and devastating heartbreak, I committed to choosing healing the heart as a way of taking time to honor the space of this moment.

A few years into what I have deemed my heart work, I am so grateful I made that choice and stuck with it as life returned to a new normal. What didn’t return was the man I was pre-pandemic. And for all of this I am able to see the immense change in who I am, what I desire and what is truly possible when one begins living from the heart and unconditional love.

As I diligently engage my meditation practice, my affirmation practice, my running practice, my waking practice, my movement practices and even my hypnosis; I see the abundance of possibilities that are there for me. Not a day goes by or a dream expressed that I don’t see the potential for a whole new life, mind and way of living.

Decisions have been made for huge shifts and transformative opportunities which slowly begin to reveal themselves in so many synchronicities and ah ha moments. I have returned to so many instinctual remembrance’s that all whisper that this is the right direction and path for my voice of the heart to begin speaking and literally singing once again.

This is the time and I realize, now more than ever, that the work I do, share and creates are needed now. My sensitivity, empathy, compassion and love is needed now. In these challenging and very turbulent times, I am needed now. As are you.

If we are going to move the world into the space of love, we all are needed now. In all of the many different ways, being and becoming; we are all so desperately needed for a time of healing for ourselves and for one another. The earth needs us. Our hearts need us. All that you love needs us.

In acknowledging that you are needed and putting the energy and focus in that loving space; possibilities will abound. You are capable of magic and miracles. We all are capable of magic and miracles. I choose magic and miracles each and every day. And let me tell you, it is divine.

Acceptance

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acceptance, accepting what is, Believing, challenge, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, dyslexic, empathy, evolve, faith, growth, love, Soul to Soul, spirit, transformation

After all this time I have come to accept that being dyslexic is actually my super power. For so long I have hidden this aspect of myself and did not even know what it was or that there was a name for why I saw things, spoke the way I did or wrote the way I did. All this time I just lived with the shame and humiliation that there was something wrong with me or that I was just not intelligent enough. 

And now, I am opening myself up to simply accepting it as something that has truly been an asset and as a secret super power. Yes, my brain works differently than others but because of this I see, sense and experience the world in a way that has heightened me being an empath and healer that I am. Not to mention the creativity that I bring to making dances and building kinetic worlds. 

The other rather interesting thing that has come of coming out as dyslexic is that I have successfully built skills to work with it and through it to write and express myself better. The 30 day challenges I have given myself have helped to simply practice these skills and to build confidence in making small shifts in my courage to write. 

We know that we are able to change neural pathways and use neuroplasticity as a tool for remapping and relearning things. Because of this, folks don’t have to suffer in silence or believe themselves to be inferior or broken. It’s like many things we hide to avoid shame but in reality, if we open ourselves up, we find it possible to heal and to work through what is in fact solvable. 

What would it be like if we supported so many others on whatever journey they were on? What would it be like if we lead with acceptance and love rather than expectation and fear? Would we not all be more open and supportive? Would our lives be that much less difficult? It seems to me we all could live with a lot less trauma and a lot more acceptance. 

Why is it we as human beings feel a need to only feel safe when we are all the same? Why do we do this to one another? What is so comforting about being like everyone else and othering those that we don’t understand or fear? Don’t we in fact learn so much from our differences and grow because of them? 

I know for me there would have been a lot less mountains of healing to climb would I really have known that all of who I was/am was always good enough and embraced. If I was to say anything to my younger self it would be to not fear who I am and to live unabashedly unashamed. Live loud. Live big. And most of all, love yourself like no one could ever love you. 

Perhaps we all could find it within ourselves to encourage this in ourselves and in all of those we come into contact with. Perhaps we could practice acceptance and sometimes learn to live with what makes us uncomfortable at times. There is a lot the body can teach us when we lean into our discomfort and find out what is hiding within that. 

More and more I try to find out what is lurking in the uneasiness that needs my attention. Facing those moments and bringing them into my awareness is where the transformation happens. And trust me, there is a lot of transformation still to happen. 

I have found that admitting who I really was and facing what being dyslexic meant was a moment of great freedom and oddly great pride. Like many things in my life, I am relearning how to live with great pride and acceptance of the fullness of my being.