Wisdom and Wellness Resides Within

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art, change, changes, courageous heart, empathy, heart, inspiration, learning, life, light, love, loving, observations, shifting paradigm, together, transformation, vulnerablitiy

I have been feeling compelled to sit down and reach out through writing once again. Looking at the date of the last post I realize I have been away for quite some time. I believe the last post was dated October first and now we are over six months beyond that. And boy has so much transpired and has changed since then. This is exactly the topic of thought that has been speaking to me recently and the need for this particular sharing.

Mind you, even despite all the recent and unprecedented shifts that the entire world has been required to take notice of, transformation has been taking place for me on many levels for quite some time now. Change that I feel has been necessary and honestly long overdue. I am just grateful I have been able to recognize the importance of that change for myself and for all of those I have ever or will ever come into contact.

The biggest most impactful impetus for deepening my spiritual and internal relationship with myself was when I began to ask questions about what there was left for me to do now that both of my boys had passed, relationship ended and being no longer in love with dance? It was an empty and bleak time of sadness, grief, and disappointment. What is left when the darkness seems to be holding your breath and your heart hostage?

Lucky for me I was doing a great deal of meditation to cope and to somehow find my breath and my heart again. In one meditation I was doing for the new year I was simply doing my best to focus on breath and to listen to my body as I have always required of my students. This particular meditation brought to  my awareness a line that said a few times “just look”. So after that meditation I felt like I understood what that meant and reached for my computer to do just that, just look.

What was I looking for, I knew I was looking for a love that needed me and a being that perhaps would shake my heart into remembering there are so many beings in need of each and everyone of us and that we are necessary and important energies to and for one another. And in this instance, I knew it was a dog. They have always been significant for me on so many levels and I knew at this point it was what the message was saying. Just look for a dog.

So there I was after my meditation opening a computer to see if there was a dog that was speaking to me; and almost as immediately as I got on the site did my little one reach out through technology releasing the strangle hold on my heart. I knew when I looked into his soulful eyes that he needed me and I most definitely needed him. But what was the likelihood this adorable puppy was still available? Well if you are a believer in synchronicity as I am, you know without a doubt things will be as they need be. And with that and a bunch of simple steps, he became mine.

This change to matter for something or someone changes us. Recognizing that we are in fact necessary for the well-being of others and that we all have tremendous gifts to give, way beyond the value of money, is transformational in and of itself. This kind of awakening is the beginning of understanding our individual ability to access a resilience that is undeniable and incredibly powerful. There is great power within when we allow ourselves to let others in despite the unmistakeable necessity of vulnerability.

Being in this state and recognizing the need for each one of us to understand we have something to offer and that we are capable of so much more than we are able to fathom in this moment is crucial. This along with accepting that we too need others in all kinds of ways to fulfill what it means to be full so we can be fully human. It is after all those that surround us who fill us up with so much that we are able to allow ourselves to have such incredible human experiences necessary for living in love.

So for the past year and a half I have been doing my best to make shifts and changes in my life that welcomes a sense of being present and aware in and of my actions. I have worked at creating more space before I speak or allowing space for others to speak. I have tried to listen to my students more by creating more space for them to feel and to recognize their bodies are speaking to them and that this space for reflection is when we can open ourselves up to this great sensorial listening. The body has so much to say and is such an incredible gift to our wellness both physically and energetically.

Slow and steady revealing of oneself is an effort filled and conscious choice we must make in order to live more energetically fulfilling lives that are well balanced, congruent and more heartfelt. It takes patience and fortitude to build a resiliency in order to give ourselves over to accepting transformation. If we are able to quiet the voice of fear we will be able to turn up the volume of our body. Once we are able to listen, we will be able to transform. It is with corporeal wisdom that we are then able to see more clearly because we are now seeing and sensing from our hearts.

Currently we are living in a frenetic and trying time. So much chaos, uncertainty and fear. And rightly so. It is a new world and one that will need a great deal of breath, compassion, empathy and love to navigate through. Yet, accepting and acknowledging that this is difficult, heartbreaking, uncomfortable and unknown is such a very great place to be in recognizing that we have a choice to welcome and embrace change and therefor be the transformation necessary for our own lives and for the lives of others. This is the time for acceptance of the self and all that we are capable of becoming and learning through being present in the midst of instability. This is resilience and thus becomes resourceful and soulful.

I must admit I am rather excited about having to shift my work into a whole new medium for myself. I accept I have a huge learning curve but also acknowledge that my students do too. We can do this together. I can be a person who might create the space for us to navigate and grapple with these shifts through the training of the body through our EBAS practice as well as creating work and making work work for us. This process is not only artistic but simultaneously is healing and heartening. We will discover what we are made of and that what we are made of is ever so beautiful and divine.

I am looking forward to creating space to allow my students to look within to find their wellspring of heart and of voice. I am looking forward to the changes I will see in myself as I do my best to welcome being present and in being forgiving of self and of others during the process. I am viewing this necessity of change as yet another part of my growth spiritually, emotionally and artistically. I recognize this is something that perhaps I have been needing and that perhaps we have all been needing. I for one am seeing my work with new eyes and with a new heart.

May we all find a way to welcome the wisdom of wellness to speak to us as we quiet ourselves through movement and the changes necessary to thrive. May we reach out if we need help. May we reach out to give hope. May we be with others in ways unknown but yet critically important. May we be the light to fill others so that we all shine for and with one another. May love light this way.

Lean Into the Wind

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art, artists, choreography, creating, creative process, Creativity, dancers, directors, inspiration, musicians, observations, singers, storytellers, work, writer

Lean into the wind of creativity and eventually it will gale so forcibly they will pick you up and carry you.

One might think they are flying, in fact it is actually the wind lovingly carrying you as you express the soul of the world through your work.

Be mindful of making the mistake of thinking it is you who are soaring. Be humble in the act of creation and those winds will always be setting a course for your heart to sail.

Lean into those winds and not for once lose faith in your song.

Learning to Recognize the Moment of Transformation

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art, changes, faith, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, observations, sharing, space, thoughts, truth

There comes a time when we recognize the moment in which our life turns a corner. That realization to face the change with courage, dignity and humility is a quintessential pivot in our consciousness as well as in our well-being. This is a defining moment and one that will transform us and our lives completely.

Often times we are unable to recognize these miraculous moments due to the cacophony of noise that surrounds our everyday existence not to mention the noise residing in our own mind. When we are immersed in such noise we know we have succumbed to the betrayal of our authentic selves and have fallen into the falsehood of intellect rather than the intelligence of the heart.

One way to unravel this strangle hold is to immerse oneself into the reorganization of the physical body through conscious training by cultivating an intimate relationship in which the body is the tool to reestablish our relationship to ourselves. This is crucial to being able to create both the physical and emotional space for realigning the vibrations of a healthy being.

There are so many ways to go about this awakening. So many movement modalities and practices that one can connect with to foster a healthy relationship with mind/body. Whatever the practice you choose, give it time. Patience is a required element in the equation for peace and physical and spiritual well-being. Allowing yourself to explore time in an unconventional way so as to suspend habitual or conditional thinking will nurture a new physical paradigm.

Just as it takes time to train the ears to hear, the eyes to see and the heart to speak; so too is it necessary to give space to time to press open a moment allowing the body to unravel itself through its own weight and its own wisdom. Give yourself to the magnitude of your being so as to recognize the moment when the universe opens the door to the greatest road map for success, prosperity and spiritual bliss.

Let Me Be

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art, Existence, faith, humanity, inspiration, life, love, Love Between Men, love for all, loving, me, observations, sand, sharing, Sky, thoughts, travel, truth, water

Let me be Sand

Let me be Water

Let me be Sky

Let me be that which is below, beside and above

Let me surround you with all I am so you never question my love

Let me sustain you with all I am so you know I am always there for you

Let me satisfy you with all I am so you trust your heart, your beauty and your grace

Let me be Sand

Let me be Water

Let me be Sky

This Is What I Do.

Tags

art, Ballet, contemporary ballet, contemporary dance, Dance, dancing, humanity, inspiration, lessons learned, space, truth, work

In my movement meditations I often return to the grateful mind space and acknowledge that I am so very fortunate to be here in this space and at this time. There have been countless times when life should have been taken from me save some miraculous cradling of the universe itself. Too many unexplainable events which should have erased me from this moment. And in those brief seconds of recollection, I am reminded to once again be grateful.

And so it is with this sensibility that I find myself in connection and concert with others bodies and their hearts. I have not chosen the path of the empath, but I certainly have learned how to embrace it as best I can. And still, I have much learning on how to be even better with these skills I have been given. With such skill comes a responsibility that known really knows how to prepare for.

I do what I do not for the same reasons others do this profession. Dance is not my life nor is the teaching of dance my life. Yes, I do make dances and I do shape dancers, but there is something far more profound that I take part in that often gets lost in the overall ego consuming work of this field. That work is the transformation of body and spirit through the bridge building of conscious sensation. One can never go back once one understands the power of synesthesia.

This moment of connected consciousness and the empowerment that happens for those individuals that understand the undeniable energy available to them is unquestionably the moment I live for. The moment of physical embodiment and enlightenment of the pure power of potential one possesses. It is this moment that transforms the spirit as it unravels the many untruths it has learned through fear and shame.

Take the Moment to Remember. Take this Moment to Love.

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art, Ballet, changes, contemporary ballet, contemporary dance, faith, humanity, inspiration, lessons learned, life, me, modern dance, observations, truth

I picked up my phone last night to find a text from a very dear student of mine whom I have a very special place in my heart. He has become a truly amazing individual both as a human being as well as an artist thriving in the world. When I read his text I had to catch my breath for a moment and remember to be forever grateful for this incredible life I have been gifted.

Perhaps I was especially moved due to attending graduation this weekend as well. I looked at the faces of some of the most talented individuals one could know and marveled at their strength and their courage to set out in the world to follow their bliss. There they are at the precipice of forever and boldly moving forward to say “yes, I can do this!”. And boy, can they.

I am so proud of the students who go through our program. I am so lucky to be a part of their journey as well as to do so with the colleagues that I have. We work as a team to encourage and foster their skills and abilities as no one person can do such thing alone. Another remarkable opportunity to engage with colleagues that continue to teach me as well.

When I look through my feed on Facebook and see the tremendous achievements our students have I am astounded by the incredible changes they are making in the world and how much light and love they are bringing through the paths they have decided to take. Their success is not always in dance but in the work they choose to do that they come to through dance. Some of the successes are profound and are having an an amazing ripple effect in this world. There they are standing in the face of these turbulent times and they are solid, steadfast and brilliantly shining a light in the dark. I so marvel at their bravery and their hearts. Yes, all of their hearts.

This always reminds me that regardless of what somebody ends up doing or decides to do, the following of their hearts is the only success that truly matters. And I honestly believe that a degree in dance helps you to realize your bliss because not only does it train you to be able to do incredible things with your body, it fosters resiliency of the heart in addition to having the super power of creatively seeing the world to solve its problems. Yes, these dancing students are not civilians, they are super hero’s making their way in the world and a better place for all of us in it.

So when a text comes to saying they are thinking of me and that they love me, I am reminded to keep on loving. Even in the times when I am exhausted from fighting to share what it is I know or wondering if the information I have is relevant, I need to tell myself to hush up. Those issues are my insecurities. The love of what I do is worth the fight. The love learned through the art form is worth the fight. And yes, I am continually evolving so the work is more relevant than ever. So hush up. Look at all these brilliant students standing in the light and waving the sword of brilliance. If they can do it, the least you can do is reflect them and honor them and do it to. Be as good as you can so that perhaps they might be as proud of you as you are them.

Thirty Day’s of Thoughts: Day Eleven

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art, faith, friends, friendship, humanity, inspiration, lessons learned, life, me, sharing, thoughts, truth

I didn’t know those words meant so much. I had no idea the actions made touched so deeply. I was unaware that the energy that I carried spoke to you. I am grateful my presence in your life in some way has made an impact. It was never my intention to be anything or do anything other than what was right. To treat others with respect and dignity was what I thought we did for one another. I didn’t realize its significance.

As funny as social media is, as difficult and divisive as it has become, I still see the light within. I have been reminded of late by those from my world both present and past about what things have stood out about our interactions and our friendships. I am often surprised by the memories they carry or how much things meant to them. Surprised because for me, I just thought it was natural or just the way it should be.

When I am reminded of such wonderful memories, I am touched so deeply. I often wonder about decisions I have made and choices that have shaped my life. I ponder about the path I have chosen and the course of the waters that have carried me into this amazing life. I don’t question the direction but rather, why me? Why is it I see as I do? Why is it I feel so much? Why am I moved to tears of empathy when I should be stronger? Why am I able to do what others do not know is even possible?

When others share with me their memories of us, I am humbled again and again. I am reminded to keep on doing what I am doing without question and without fear. There is something at work here and it needs a vessel to do its work. There is something that needs to be shared and it needs a platform. Be that platform be making dances, making dancers, writing pages, singing a song or healing the body and the heart, it needs to be expressed.

And so I will. And so I do. And so I am grateful that our paths have crossed in some way that has brought you light. May our paths cross again so we can share that light once again in a smile or an embrace that expresses the gratitude we share. I didn’t know my experiences mattered, but I hope to keep on making what little difference I can.

Ever Grateful for YOU!

Thirty Day’s of Thoughts: Day Eight

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art, changes, faith, health, Home, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, me, observations, space, training, travel, truth, work, Writing

On this day I pause to absorb the incredible light that is this life, my life. I am so full of gratitude for so much goodness that it is truly hard to compose the joy. I smile as I sit here and write this as I am once again reminded that I have been given the gift of a voice to use it to express myself in so many different ways. I have been give the gift of expression through movement, song and word. For this I am grateful and for this I shall sing.

As I woke today I was kissed on the cheek by Bradford as he so lovingly assures me that it is in fact to get up and there is no more time left for this sleeping thing. The time is now to start paying attention to his wishes and needs along with his brother. I mean it is morning and it is time for a romp in the yard and that thing they love called breakfast. What is really beautiful is that he will wait patiently after the first little kiss and stare at me until I stir. Gentle breathing with his head rested on my arm.

And so I enter my day, this day of celebration through the act of gratitude. It is my goal to pay attention to all of the beautiful moments this day brings. Paying attention to the beautiful energy and soul of my home and my sanctuary that continually folds me into itself and revitalizes my spirit. The energy of a home should be that of a sacred space that recharges ones spirit by letting them feel safe as they are surrounded by both energetic and physical blessings.

I have no plans to do anything special except be extra grateful for this life. I celebrate all that is my present, honor all that is my past and open my heart to all that is to be. I open myself to what is to come and know without a doubt there is magic in store. So much more than I can plan or scheme. I open my spirit and welcome the energies of the vast infinite universe to move whatever it is I need into my path. When this happens, it will be as natural as breath itself.

I once again was reminded of this yesterday when I was out looking for a new work to add to my collection and to my walls. I have been wanting a David Cressman for some time now as his paintings really speak to me. I cam across them a while ago and have been keeping an eye out for them and an opportunity to become a keeper of his art. I went through and found a Holly Markoff that complimented a work of hers I have and was about to walk out the door when something told me to walk to a corner of the gallery that I have not been to before. As I turned I could feel the calling of the beautiful work on that wall.

Not only was I standing in front of a wall of David Cressman, but my eye immediately was drawn to a work which consisted of a beautiful landscape with none other than the Eiffel Tower and the wonderful bridges of the Seine. The light in this work is glorious. As a matter of fact the piece is titled Golden Light of Paris. How perfect. And so, without question, the time was now to fold this new work into my sacred abode and add it to the ever expanding collection of incredible work. It was time.

And so I sit here writing as it hangs just over my left shoulder on a wall of work that brings my heart joy. Many of the works are from and/or are about the places that steel my heart. Paris, Tuscany and Santa Fe. There are also landscapes that honor Virginia and all of its beauty. The paintings remind me of the beauty that surrounds me at home to anchor me while I have the privilege of experiencing the magic of the city of light and the birthplace of the renaissance. Light speaks to me. Light speaks to my heart.

I am grateful I am able to listen. I am thankful that I have been able to create the space to listen. At first I was overwhelmed by what I could hear and see, but learned how to quiet the added noise that often times surrounds the song and focus in on listening to what was being shared. So much is given to us about the magic of this world and universe. So much truth is before our eyes on a daily basis and I am just thankful that I have opened my heart to tune into those truths and find peace in doing so.

When I look at my students, their bodies speak to me. Their truths of who they are and the desires for where they want to be whisper clearly. Their bodies reach out and ask for health and wellness. Their spirits are open. Even if they do not know they speak this, their spirits are speaking loud and clear. And for this, I have to listen. I am so thankful I am able to listen. I am so honored to be in this place of healing and well being.

You know I don’t really consider myself a teacher. I do not consider myself a choreographer. I don’t consider myself an artist either. I long ago claimed what I am and have been doing my work from that space for some time now. When I realized that what I was was different than what I was hoping to be, I was able to admit to myself that my spirit is actually a healer. From the moment of that acceptance of fate, I let go of needing to be good at what I do or respected for what I made. I stepped into myself and began to listen to bodies and how they wanted to live and live in the space.

I sing dances into being by listening to the voices of the bodies in front of me. I carve space with illuminating bodies in which vibrant with the soul of the work. When all forms are tuned to the essence of the work, I know the work is satisfied and it can be itself in this world. The same is true when the body vibrates openly so that the pathways are aligned and open to carry the body to well being to be able to physicalize work. There are layers to the making and creating of bodies and bodies of light in space. It all starts with the healing of these bodies through the reeducation of the physical self to align with the spiritual self.

And for this I am grateful. I am grateful I can celebrate knowing who I am. Thankful that I have accepted my deepest self and that I have not run away from myself out of fear. How glorious it is to walk the stillness of knowing oneself and celebrating with humility that this life has been a beautiful choice of grace and light. I celebrate the very essence of who I am and recognize, as well as honor, this amazingly beautiful life I have been graciously allowed to live.

And so I walk into my 48th year knowing that with an open heart magic will reveal itself to me always. There will be light laid beneath my feet so I will know where to step. The will be instructions given if I continue to listen. There will be blessings beyond imagining simply by being. May I continue to be as I circle the sun once again.

Thirty Day’s of Thoughts: Day Four

Tags

animals, art, changes, dogs, Home, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, me, space, truth, work

The quiet of a Sunday morning is one of the most grounding and calming times of the week. Waking to the gentle and patient kisses of Bradford while the rest of the world is still sleeping is such a moment of clarity. He wakes me not to go out, but to be cuddled and to be rubbed. He gets as close as he can without getting inside my skin so he can role over and give his belly to me. He loves this time. Perhaps one of his favorite also.

Baxter on the other hand climbs up and stands on my chest only to lay down on it releasing all of his weight upon me. He prefers to stare into my eyes until my free hand can rub underneath his chin. He has never been a huge cuddler, but when he does, he pours all of his weight into you.

So from this waking bliss we move through the ritual of letting out, feeding and preparing for some after breakfast outside time. Baxter in particular likes his time outside. He loves nothing more than to sit and watch life, and the occasional cat, pass bay. He lifts his head ever so gently to smell the neighborhood. He will sit for long periods of time just taking in the day.

Bradford on the other hand likes to sit next to me as I move through my own rituals of the AM. He is patient to allow me to go through my motions and process my day. He sits quietly right at my feet as I write and sip that wonderful morning coffee. He also likes to cuddle as close as he can when we move into our cycle of reading.

After a while though, it becomes very clear that Baxter is ready to explore the neighborhood and the city. He loves a good walk and gets terribly excited when he is asked if it is time. I am convinced he understands english and if he could talk, he would speak it as well. I am also convinced he can spell. But that is for another time.

And so the morning takes us out into the quiet of a Sunday. It tends to be much more calm outside on a Sunday. Streets are clear, not a person in sight and the parks open for the free running of the hounds. They love getting off leash to run as fast as they can to smell all they can before having to start the journey back. If it is a warmer day, we do the long walk along the park trails and the flood wall. This is what they really love.

When the weather turns much warmer and the river water catches up, there will be an element of swimming involved as well. Baxter could stay in the water all day if allowed. Bradford likes to wade, but Baxter loves to go on long swims to fetch whatever is thrown. He won’t fetch on land, but in the water, he would go for hours.

And after all of this, we return home to the quiet of our sanctuary. They pass out and I dive more deeply into the dreams of my books or the manifesting of my work. So much work is done in these few waking hours on a Sunday that I hold them sacred. I hold them dear. They are the moments in the week that rejuvenate and inspire for the week to come. If it weren’t for these rituals shared with these two boys, I would not have the peace that I do.

Lifting Lines/Morphing Visions: Autumn 5

Tags

acceptance, allowing, art, artist, Ballet, becoming, choreographer, choreography, contemporary dance, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, Dance, modern dance, natural, natural beauty, nature, organic, process, wabi sabi

Of all the work I have created, nothing can compare to the majesty of natures creations. What comes from the flow of energetic creative cultivation can not come close to the magnificence of the natural and loving world. There is a timeless and universal beauty that is without comparison to what can be made of the human body.

Let us also not get caught in the confines of our ego as we participate in the creative process. Let us share in the joy of this kind of blissful flow without finding ourselves attaching our ego to the birth of that which we shape. We should not hold this ephemeral beauty hostage. Work needs to be set free just like the human spirit.

In the moment of unconditional sharing, this is the time when our work and its unique vibration of being is the closest it can get to the beauty within nature. This is the moment when the works speaks directly the the human heart which is the direct line to the nature of humanity and its link to the organic compounds of the universe itself.