140 Days of Sitting

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body, change, changes, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, development, Energy, faith, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, learning, letting go, life, light, listening, love, Mindful Action, patience, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Teaching, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Today marks the 140th day of a meditation practice that I began as a 40 day challenge. To say that this time has been transformative would be completely denying the fullness of what sitting in peace has done for me. I am incredibly grateful for choosing to sit and practice my spiritual journey and do so with a commitment I have not had in decades.

Somewhere along the way of becoming I got lost in the going. Dreams, desires and societal and cultural expectations simply knocked me off balance. That of course is understandable when we succumb to the illusion of the busyness of being. We are sold that to be busy is to be successful. To be busy is to be validated. This is especially true in academia where I live to butter my bread.

Drifting through a sea of disillusionment it is easy to get lost when the goals are not congruent or in alignment with the true vibration of you. We think to know and yet what matters most is that we should feel to know and better yet, understand. And as the rocks tumble in this avalanche of despair we are seeing all around us, we see and feel how fear seems to be getting the best of us.

I made a conscious choice to heal while Covid ravaged our very existence. In a time of heightened fear, I chose freedom. In a time of chaos, I chose quietude. In a time of heartbreak, I chose healing. This is the key element in allowing ourselves the time and space to heal ourselves of the hurt, shame, trauma and fear that we have been collecting as well as spreading. For one can’t but help hurt others of in fact they are hurt themselves. Choosing to break the cycle of pain takes the courage to make the choice for change.

I realize not everyone believes in meditation nor is it part of many belief systems. Yet, what is part of all spiritual paths is the simple thread of the power of love that is woven through them all. For me, meditation has been a way to return to loving myself and therefore all those around me. Perhaps your path is different in the form of finding oneself, but regardless, sitting in meditation and opening the magnetic field of love that emanates from the heart is what allows for magic, wonderment and awe.

There have been many transformative, synchronistic and enchanted moments during these past 140 days. For this my heart is grateful. My body is also grateful. In addition, the energy I live in continues to make me giddy with ecstasy like I have not felt in years.

From where I sit now, all I can see is possibility. As I heal, I grow. As I grow, I become. As I become, I am able to welcome all that is in true alignment with the most beautiful vibration of me and the me that I can be. I accept and allow to do more good, no, more great in the world. I have it to give. And so I shall.

When The Heart Is Open, There Shall Be Blooms

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, energies, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, love, Love Between Men, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

It occurred to me today after a spin through the house that there are more orchids in bloom at one time than I have had in a long time or can even remember. It moved me quite a bit when the flash of insight passed highlighting that perhaps it could very well be due to all of the opening and blossoming of my own heart.

Could it be that the orchids are all reflecting/mirroring what it is I am feeling with all of this glorious heart work and healing? Could it be that when our energy shifts into the space of unconditional loving in all aspects of our doing, being and actions that the same energy is felt in the orchids themselves?

A wave of gratitude and grace passed over me and in fact a swelling of even more love seemed to fill and in fact overflow from my heart. And now, every time I pass one of them my heart seems to grow that much bigger and the arteries seem to flow with a freedom simply for admiring their beauty and their joy.

It made me wonder if in fact I might be in bloom again myself. Meaning, I wonder if I appear with that kind of beauty and grace to others who know or don’t know who I am? Oddly I had a young man chat me up last week and called me hottie Scottie. Struck me as a little odd but tickled me as well. Much like I am tickled by the beauty of the blooms I share my space with today.

I wonder how much more beauty can be shared by myself and the energies of my space? I wonder how much unconditional love I am capable of letting flow through this unabashed heart? I am giddy with the notion of thinking that perhaps this kind of love and energy is in fact endless since love is eternal.

Oh the joy of giving ourselves over to love and letting love be the champion of all of our lives and all of our dreams. So much gratitude for feeling the hope of love eternal once again and for finding the courage to open up and be vulnerable despite the moment of living we are currently in. May there be an endless flow for you and may you see your own beauty and grace reflected back to you in your own transformative blossoming.

Possibilities Abound

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, development, Dream, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Magic, Mindful Action, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Since Covid I have found myself giving over to healing from so much of my past that I never allowed myself the time to heal from. Despite the horrific tragedy of the pandemic and all of the lives lost and devastating heartbreak, I committed to choosing healing the heart as a way of taking time to honor the space of this moment.

A few years into what I have deemed my heart work, I am so grateful I made that choice and stuck with it as life returned to a new normal. What didn’t return was the man I was pre-pandemic. And for all of this I am able to see the immense change in who I am, what I desire and what is truly possible when one begins living from the heart and unconditional love.

As I diligently engage my meditation practice, my affirmation practice, my running practice, my waking practice, my movement practices and even my hypnosis; I see the abundance of possibilities that are there for me. Not a day goes by or a dream expressed that I don’t see the potential for a whole new life, mind and way of living.

Decisions have been made for huge shifts and transformative opportunities which slowly begin to reveal themselves in so many synchronicities and ah ha moments. I have returned to so many instinctual remembrance’s that all whisper that this is the right direction and path for my voice of the heart to begin speaking and literally singing once again.

This is the time and I realize, now more than ever, that the work I do, share and creates are needed now. My sensitivity, empathy, compassion and love is needed now. In these challenging and very turbulent times, I am needed now. As are you.

If we are going to move the world into the space of love, we all are needed now. In all of the many different ways, being and becoming; we are all so desperately needed for a time of healing for ourselves and for one another. The earth needs us. Our hearts need us. All that you love needs us.

In acknowledging that you are needed and putting the energy and focus in that loving space; possibilities will abound. You are capable of magic and miracles. We all are capable of magic and miracles. I choose magic and miracles each and every day. And let me tell you, it is divine.

Remembering The Joy Of You

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allowing, becoming, Believing, change, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, growth, heart, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, letting go, life, light, love, Mindful Action, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being

There often seems to be moments as of late when I am reminded of so many of the joys that have somehow escaped my life and I have unfortunately missed for some time. For so many of us, our lives get so busy and so focused that we lose track of the simple joys that filled our hearts and our bodies with such positive energy and happiness. Lately, by taking conscious time out for myself, I am started to feel those joys returning. And for this I am grateful.

Oddly, this isn’t as if I am searching to go back to something, but it is more like I am remembering the essence of who I am and the joys are deeply connected to that reminder. I look back over the past ten years and can see the slow numbing of the energy within that brought so many of those joys to life. During that time I lost the compass of my spirit and therefore the joys that were simple a part of the essence of my being.

Now, as I allow myself to fulfill my true nature, all of a sudden the things that brought so much joy are now re-emerging into so many aspects of my life. Fear, anger, shame and guilt are very powerful and suffocate our joys and the heartbreaking thing is that we often don’t realize it while in a state of hurt, grief or disappointment. But I assure you, the joys are still there albeit they may be presently unseen.

In fact, the joys never left you. Nor the essence of your true being. The noise, the conditioning, the chaos and the turmoil of the current moment may have buried them so deeply, but I assure you, the light of you is still there. It is your sacred energy and as we all know, you do not destroy energy, it is just transformed.

So in reality, if it was transformed once, it can be transformed again. Yes! You can return to the light if you but not by going back, but by going forward. Forge ahead so that you can meet yourself once again. Forge ahead so that you can walk in the light of you. Forge ahead so that your dreams can once again see the light of day. And remember, it is never too late.

Welcoming Inspiration

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allowing, change, changes, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, heart, hope, inspiration, Mindful Action, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart

In these turbulent times with our hearts and minds being pulled in so many different directions, it is now more important than ever to be opening ourselves up and welcoming inspiration back into our lives. If we are truly desiring transformation then we have to take this moment to allow the space for ourselves to commune with our desires and the inspiration to create a whole new life for ourselves.

When was the last time you took time out to remove yourself from the chaos and the noise and convene with nature? Is it possible for even just a few moments to sit by a tree, admire some flowers or dangle your feet in a stream? Nature speaks to us in a language that the heart understands with the heart being able to translate to us all through love.

When was the last time you took yourself to a museum, a play, to hear live music, to take an art class, to absorb all the beautiful things that the arts offer? Is it possible for just a few moments to consciously choose to let the arts speak to the heart in a language of creation which the heart understands?

It’s within these moments of pause and grace that we create the space to welcome inspiration. We have to willingly open space for ourselves to be able to listen to the majesty of nature, the magic of the arts and the creative spirit within. If we carve out these moments for ourselves we will open up space for the true nature of our beings and finally find the space to listen to our true selves.

If you wish for great change, you must make space for that change to take place. If you wish for a dream, you must willfully open time to have experiences that allow you to listen to the creative spirit within your hearts. If you want the life you always imagined, welcome inspiration within the space and time of your choosing. One moment welcomes the moment and momentum always favors the willing.

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 18

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Ballet, Believing, change, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Dance, modern dance, Soul to Soul, spirit, teaching dance, training, transformation

I missed two days of postings this weekend but oddly the work I have been doing over the last two days has been incredibly insightful and supportive of the work I will be presenting at the Corps de Ballet International Conference July 6-9. It has been a flurry of connections and linking of many aspects of my research. Super excited about sharing the work and welcoming folks into the history of the form in addition to the theories that inhabit the Elemental Body Alignment System. 

I have shared this work with my students of course and have shared the form but I have often only shared the pedagogy perspective with students of the teacher training courses I host. Even there I have not shared a lot of the foundational work as there has not been enough time during our course to really get into that or from a feeling that it might be too controversial or  too esoteric for folks simply wanting to embed the form into their training schools. I have not presented this material in a conference setting nor have found the right voice or theme to connect to. I am excited that this conference offers this opportunity and am very grateful to be invited to do so. 

It has been an awfully long time trying to figure out how to share this information without it feeling like I am condemning the way ballet or technique has been taught. The work does ask us to reexamine how we present our material and what our values are behind our training practices. This in and of itself is a challenge especially in a form that historically focuses on the end aesthetic results and values a limited range of what constitutes success. 

There have been folks in the field who have been practicing and teaching in a certain way for so long that to challenge that in any way might seem an affront or conflict for them. I often see this reflected in students who are reluctant to explore and experiment with different ways of doing material they have learned a certain way. Even if they are in pain or are uncomfortable with what it is they are doing. Ironically students don’t even know the how of what they are doing rather they just try and match a picture of what has been presented. Students mostly learn through imitation rather than sensation. 

You can see that shifting the way in which they have participated in class or have been evaluated and praised is difficult for students. Even if they are interested in getting better at what it is they love to do, when they are challenged with change, they find it difficult. However, as soon as they “feel” movement from a different perspective which offers them more freedom of movement and range of motion and gives them the legs, feet, turns and jumps they want; the student begins to open up and explore how much more is possible for them. They are now empowered through this new vehicle and begin a new relationship with the form as well as with themselves as creative beings. 

I am really excited to share this with folks who are the teachers of students from across so many demographics and am hoping this will be a bridge builder opportunity for more sharing and creative relationships. It is exciting to see the new ways that will be available for folks to access and dive into the information in new ways. The connections and layering of both eastern and western sciences and theories is clearer than ever and will hopefully make it easier for people to understand the how of EBAS and the fundamental concepts and principles of ballet. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 11

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another chance, Believing, change, committment, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, Soul to Soul, spirit, transformation

6/12/21

All the little shifts and changes seem to be adding up. I started with this month-long writing challenge and have found myself walking more and more as well. The small adjustments seem to build a kind of energetic momentum that allow and support success in and of themselves but also for one another. 

I have chosen to start this coming week by adding in a little more exercise and get the cardio on by running and also getting back to swimming. I’m feeling adding in two runs and a swim this coming week would be a lovely goal to set and achieve. Again, starting small and letting momentum be the wind. 

I have some other things that have been crossing my mind to address such as more water and much less wine. While I do drink a lot of water, with the added exercise I need to be mindful of keeping hydrated. The biggest thing is diminishing the wine part and letting go of all those extra sugars and calories. That and the clarity of a clean body and bloodstream. 

Another thing I would like to increase is my own personal EBAS practice. It would be nice to be consistent and to use it as energy work and as a movement meditation that helps to open and center for all the writing and preparation for presenting at the conference I mentioned yesterday, and all the writing for the new workshops me and my creative partner are processing. 

I’m going to need to be a creative warrior in addition to the creative alchemist; transforming all of the ideas and information into gold. I need to continue my focus on wellness and well-being as a way of welcoming more creativity and productivity into my life and all of my work. 

It is exciting to be riding the kind of momentum that is coming from this daily writing as well as my morning pages and meditation and affirmations. I feel as if I am recognizing a part of myself that I had lost long before the pandemic as a result of so many challenges at work and in my personal life. But now, after choosing doing the heart work, I am feeling rejuvenated, inspired and as if there is hope for so much more. 

I am glad that I made a conscious choice to heal during the pandemic as opposed to hide. I committed to doing the kind of excavation that was necessary to break through some old wounds and battle scars that I have been hiding from or rather numbing from. It feels good to untangle those knots and become a weaver of a new tapestry. 

There is a lot to say about giving yourself another chance. There is so much to experience with new sensibilities and a new found curiosity of even the old patterns that you have had. I am super reinspired to be looking at the breath of my work with a new light and a new hope. There are solutions to so many questions that we just have to give it another chance. 

And so that is what is happening, giving myself, my work, my wellness another chance to really be good again. Small incremental shifts feeding off of and into one another for the kind of ecstatic energy necessary for some amazing work and sharing. It’s time to sing again literally and figuratively. It’s time to let the voice be heard and the heart to sing. Yes! 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 9

Tags

Believing, change, choices, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, love, practice, Soul to Soul, space, spirit, writing as a practice

6/10/21

This morning ritual has been a delight to move through that space I spoke of yesterday and to do so with my boys right here at my side. We seemed to have carved out a time where we can be in silence together connecting and grounding before our day ahead. 

Once they have gone out and eaten, both of them head over to the couch to their positions flanking me and leaving just enough space for me to do my thing. They patiently relax and wait for me to get through my journaling and reading of my daily affirmations and meditation. 

Once that is complete I know it is time for attending to the new ritual of this writing challenge. I realized the momentum is actually picking up and the shift in having to write is turning into a joy to write. Writing is becoming much more like a practice than a chore. It got me thinking about movement being a life practice for me and why not giving energy to other aspects of my life. In fact is not life a practice in itself? 

It is kind of simple when you stop to think of it. What if we created a series of practices for ourselves while creating the space to engage in them on a daily basis? That space I spoke of yesterday is a practice. Putting space in the in between is a practice. Making changes in our lives is a practice. 

Anything we wish to learn, explore, achieve and become takes practice. Why shouldn’t being a good person be the same. It takes practice to be mindful of your words. It takes practice to listen to people. It takes practice to be kind. It takes practice to rewire our ways of thinking, neuromuscular pathways and our gratitude. 

With practice one can shift so many things. With practice we get better. With practice it gets better. But to practice we have to choose a practice. That choice is necessary for the change. That little bit of awareness, time and space will be the difference of a fulfilled and present life. A life in practice. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 8

Tags

Believing, change, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, love, Mind shift, shifting paradigm, Soul to Soul, spirit

6/9/21

As I sit down to write today I realized how much I enjoy writing in the morning than at any other time in the day. I also realized that the morning holds a wonderful quiet and peace for me than at any other time of day. Recognizing this reminds me that perhaps this time of day is the most important and productive time for me and that I should keep that space sacred for myself and give myself and the work I do to this time. 

In some of the work I was doing yesterday that was on my to do list, I also noticed a shift in my connection to that work. I breezed through much of it and had a strange sense of ease and joy in facing the wind of my work. My habit is to procrastinate out of fear and uncertainty but with a change in focus and a new habit forming, there is a shift in confidence and connection to a lot of the other work I am doing as well. 

The shift yesterday in perspective regarding the question of is this “good for my life” added to this ease as well. Yes, getting things done and out of the head space with worry eases up space for joy. Funny how when we remove the worry, stress, fear, shame and any other noise of emotion that lives in our head and heart space, we open a place for joy, wonder, light, creativity and love to be. What a great way to think about letting go of the negative clutter; letting the heaviness of the dark drain open a space to be refilled with light. 

Of course being able to do this is not an easy task. However, if we allow a little space for ourselves we may give our bodies, hearts and minds a moment to make a decision to let go rather than react, respond or speak. Is it possible for us to create a small moment in between to quiet, allow and empty ourselves and create the opportunity for the refilling of that space with light? Is it possible that we can give the people and animals in our lives that space as well? 

It is a really nice thing when we not only give ourselves the space of time, but we give other beings this space and time as well. I like to think that if I am capable of creating a “distance” I am capable of welcoming love in that distance to bring us closer. It doesn’t seem like it should work that way, but if we allow ourselves and others the space, time and courtesy; we diffuse the tension, release the stress and let go of the need to be right, win or come out on top. 

Why is it that the ego takes over and we feel as if we have to make ourselves feel better by destroying someone else? Why do we as a culture feel as if winning is all that matters? How come we can’t be happy with simply doing our best, not responding or reacting and letting the dust settle to reflect and then respond out of kindness? 

This space has been doing me a great bit of good. Learning to rewire the moments in between and giving myself a break, a pause or a silence in order to let go and drain the negativity as opposed to letting it pour over the edges spilling into other unwanted aspects of our lives. If we are no longer spilling we then are draining and that is the goal. 

This new connection of honoring my morning rituals and giving myself this space to write, reflect, connect with the boys is giving me momentum for that space. Recognizing when I am at my best and giving myself the opportunity to be my best creates space for me to practice throughout the rest of the day. 

I have a strong sense of gratitude for being present to make those good choices and to pause to see if the action is good for my life and letting myself refill with joy. So for myself mornings are the time for draining and refilling. The opening for the release. The quiet for the rewiring of ritual. The little sacred space for nothingness. 

I Think The Butterfly Knows

Tags

acceptance, butterfly, change, changes, faith, inevitability, mindfulness, new beginning, new life, patience, peace, time, transformation, vulnerablitiy

I think the butterfly knows the hardship of transformation. They know the process takes time and understand that patience and faith are its only weapon.

I think the butterfly knows what it means to be vulnerable as on is left suspended with little defense waiting for the change. 

I think the butterfly knows the inevitability of change and what it must require of ones being to accept ones individual path to beauty and well-being. 

I think the butterfly knows how to embrace temporality as their life span is but such a small blip on the radar of time. 

I think the butterfly knows the value of being present and to welcome the tumultuous and dynamic physical shift that must occur in order to take flight. 

I think the butterfly knows what most of us human beings need to know; patience faith, vulnerability inevitability, acceptance, mindfulness and peace. 

Yes, without a doubt, I think the butterfly knows!