Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 11

Tags

another chance, Believing, change, committment, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, Soul to Soul, spirit, transformation

6/12/21

All the little shifts and changes seem to be adding up. I started with this month-long writing challenge and have found myself walking more and more as well. The small adjustments seem to build a kind of energetic momentum that allow and support success in and of themselves but also for one another. 

I have chosen to start this coming week by adding in a little more exercise and get the cardio on by running and also getting back to swimming. I’m feeling adding in two runs and a swim this coming week would be a lovely goal to set and achieve. Again, starting small and letting momentum be the wind. 

I have some other things that have been crossing my mind to address such as more water and much less wine. While I do drink a lot of water, with the added exercise I need to be mindful of keeping hydrated. The biggest thing is diminishing the wine part and letting go of all those extra sugars and calories. That and the clarity of a clean body and bloodstream. 

Another thing I would like to increase is my own personal EBAS practice. It would be nice to be consistent and to use it as energy work and as a movement meditation that helps to open and center for all the writing and preparation for presenting at the conference I mentioned yesterday, and all the writing for the new workshops me and my creative partner are processing. 

I’m going to need to be a creative warrior in addition to the creative alchemist; transforming all of the ideas and information into gold. I need to continue my focus on wellness and well-being as a way of welcoming more creativity and productivity into my life and all of my work. 

It is exciting to be riding the kind of momentum that is coming from this daily writing as well as my morning pages and meditation and affirmations. I feel as if I am recognizing a part of myself that I had lost long before the pandemic as a result of so many challenges at work and in my personal life. But now, after choosing doing the heart work, I am feeling rejuvenated, inspired and as if there is hope for so much more. 

I am glad that I made a conscious choice to heal during the pandemic as opposed to hide. I committed to doing the kind of excavation that was necessary to break through some old wounds and battle scars that I have been hiding from or rather numbing from. It feels good to untangle those knots and become a weaver of a new tapestry. 

There is a lot to say about giving yourself another chance. There is so much to experience with new sensibilities and a new found curiosity of even the old patterns that you have had. I am super reinspired to be looking at the breath of my work with a new light and a new hope. There are solutions to so many questions that we just have to give it another chance. 

And so that is what is happening, giving myself, my work, my wellness another chance to really be good again. Small incremental shifts feeding off of and into one another for the kind of ecstatic energy necessary for some amazing work and sharing. It’s time to sing again literally and figuratively. It’s time to let the voice be heard and the heart to sing. Yes! 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 1

Tags

Adventure, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, fear, heart, heart knowledge, heart path, journey, joy, life, listening to the heart, return, sharing, Writing

6/1/21

After a wild ride this past year it feels as if there may be room to breathe a little more easily and to put into motion all of the “heart” work that was done during the pandemic. Perhaps even a small expression of joy as the school year ends and there is space for a great exhale making room for the next big breath. 

I have decided to use this month as a writing challenge and return to a practice which scares me. Writing has never been easy for me and has created quite a large amount of trauma throughout my education in general. So to lean into this moment of joy with a challenging journey seems to be what my spirit is asking. I am turning to face the fear in order to break through for the sharing of some very exciting research. 

I would like to invite you on this thrifty day adventure of sharing whatever thoughts seem most relevant to be speaking to. I have no focus or theme other than sharing with you on a daily basis in order to connect, release and sharpen the practice of writing. I would love for you to join me in this sharing and to also to hear your perspective regardless of your lens. After all, listening to speak has been one of the key elements that have shifted ever more deeply for me over the past year and some change. 

And lastly, thank you in advance for taking the time and giving your energy and focus to the art of sharing. On some small level I would like to even challenge you to use these next thirty days as a check in for yourself as well. Set some time aside to create space within your day when you might find yourself listening with your eyes and being open to hear how your heart feels in these moments. 

May this be a transcendental adventure for us all! 

Sending light, love and levity!!!

Wisdom and Wellness Resides Within

Tags

art, change, changes, courageous heart, empathy, heart, inspiration, learning, life, light, love, loving, observations, shifting paradigm, together, transformation, vulnerablitiy

I have been feeling compelled to sit down and reach out through writing once again. Looking at the date of the last post I realize I have been away for quite some time. I believe the last post was dated October first and now we are over six months beyond that. And boy has so much transpired and has changed since then. This is exactly the topic of thought that has been speaking to me recently and the need for this particular sharing.

Mind you, even despite all the recent and unprecedented shifts that the entire world has been required to take notice of, transformation has been taking place for me on many levels for quite some time now. Change that I feel has been necessary and honestly long overdue. I am just grateful I have been able to recognize the importance of that change for myself and for all of those I have ever or will ever come into contact.

The biggest most impactful impetus for deepening my spiritual and internal relationship with myself was when I began to ask questions about what there was left for me to do now that both of my boys had passed, relationship ended and being no longer in love with dance? It was an empty and bleak time of sadness, grief, and disappointment. What is left when the darkness seems to be holding your breath and your heart hostage?

Lucky for me I was doing a great deal of meditation to cope and to somehow find my breath and my heart again. In one meditation I was doing for the new year I was simply doing my best to focus on breath and to listen to my body as I have always required of my students. This particular meditation brought to  my awareness a line that said a few times “just look”. So after that meditation I felt like I understood what that meant and reached for my computer to do just that, just look.

What was I looking for, I knew I was looking for a love that needed me and a being that perhaps would shake my heart into remembering there are so many beings in need of each and everyone of us and that we are necessary and important energies to and for one another. And in this instance, I knew it was a dog. They have always been significant for me on so many levels and I knew at this point it was what the message was saying. Just look for a dog.

So there I was after my meditation opening a computer to see if there was a dog that was speaking to me; and almost as immediately as I got on the site did my little one reach out through technology releasing the strangle hold on my heart. I knew when I looked into his soulful eyes that he needed me and I most definitely needed him. But what was the likelihood this adorable puppy was still available? Well if you are a believer in synchronicity as I am, you know without a doubt things will be as they need be. And with that and a bunch of simple steps, he became mine.

This change to matter for something or someone changes us. Recognizing that we are in fact necessary for the well-being of others and that we all have tremendous gifts to give, way beyond the value of money, is transformational in and of itself. This kind of awakening is the beginning of understanding our individual ability to access a resilience that is undeniable and incredibly powerful. There is great power within when we allow ourselves to let others in despite the unmistakeable necessity of vulnerability.

Being in this state and recognizing the need for each one of us to understand we have something to offer and that we are capable of so much more than we are able to fathom in this moment is crucial. This along with accepting that we too need others in all kinds of ways to fulfill what it means to be full so we can be fully human. It is after all those that surround us who fill us up with so much that we are able to allow ourselves to have such incredible human experiences necessary for living in love.

So for the past year and a half I have been doing my best to make shifts and changes in my life that welcomes a sense of being present and aware in and of my actions. I have worked at creating more space before I speak or allowing space for others to speak. I have tried to listen to my students more by creating more space for them to feel and to recognize their bodies are speaking to them and that this space for reflection is when we can open ourselves up to this great sensorial listening. The body has so much to say and is such an incredible gift to our wellness both physically and energetically.

Slow and steady revealing of oneself is an effort filled and conscious choice we must make in order to live more energetically fulfilling lives that are well balanced, congruent and more heartfelt. It takes patience and fortitude to build a resiliency in order to give ourselves over to accepting transformation. If we are able to quiet the voice of fear we will be able to turn up the volume of our body. Once we are able to listen, we will be able to transform. It is with corporeal wisdom that we are then able to see more clearly because we are now seeing and sensing from our hearts.

Currently we are living in a frenetic and trying time. So much chaos, uncertainty and fear. And rightly so. It is a new world and one that will need a great deal of breath, compassion, empathy and love to navigate through. Yet, accepting and acknowledging that this is difficult, heartbreaking, uncomfortable and unknown is such a very great place to be in recognizing that we have a choice to welcome and embrace change and therefor be the transformation necessary for our own lives and for the lives of others. This is the time for acceptance of the self and all that we are capable of becoming and learning through being present in the midst of instability. This is resilience and thus becomes resourceful and soulful.

I must admit I am rather excited about having to shift my work into a whole new medium for myself. I accept I have a huge learning curve but also acknowledge that my students do too. We can do this together. I can be a person who might create the space for us to navigate and grapple with these shifts through the training of the body through our EBAS practice as well as creating work and making work work for us. This process is not only artistic but simultaneously is healing and heartening. We will discover what we are made of and that what we are made of is ever so beautiful and divine.

I am looking forward to creating space to allow my students to look within to find their wellspring of heart and of voice. I am looking forward to the changes I will see in myself as I do my best to welcome being present and in being forgiving of self and of others during the process. I am viewing this necessity of change as yet another part of my growth spiritually, emotionally and artistically. I recognize this is something that perhaps I have been needing and that perhaps we have all been needing. I for one am seeing my work with new eyes and with a new heart.

May we all find a way to welcome the wisdom of wellness to speak to us as we quiet ourselves through movement and the changes necessary to thrive. May we reach out if we need help. May we reach out to give hope. May we be with others in ways unknown but yet critically important. May we be the light to fill others so that we all shine for and with one another. May love light this way.

Revealing the Light

Tags

changes, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, development, Existence, fear, friends, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, light, love, sharing, society, thoughts, truth, Vulnerable, vulnerablitiy, Writing

There is light within us all. Regardless of where we come from, what we believe, who we are or what we have done; light resides in each and every one of us and animates our souls. Sometimes this is hard to feel and to know as so many are struggling with so much and simply moving through the day is often a huge weight to bear. And yet, I assure you there is light within. After all you are the light of the universe and that light is in the very essence of your DNA.

So how does one journey to reveal the light within? How is it that we can find a way to peel away the institution of crippling fear? There is no simple answer nor direct path, but there is a place to start. That starting point is learning to claim your light by recognizing that vulnerability is your greatest asset as well as the seed of what makes you uniquely you and gives authenticity to your voice as a beautiful light filled human being with something to offer this world.

Yes, vulnerability is the place where you must live to stand in the face of your fear. Standing on the legs of a courageous heart takes work and it takes pride. Be proud of what you are even if it is not the same as the people around you or like any other person you know. Be proud to state your name, your love, your vision and your truth. Be mindful not to hide away what you deem to be unworthy or not good enough. Doing so will hold you back from what your soulful desires actually are.

As a child I lived in a place of vulnerability and truth but allowed the world around me swallow that innocence and love. Scolded and shamed into no longer trusting the instincts and visions, a young boy became a young man who hid away what others did not understand or even know possible. Hiding the abilities that have been so graciously given strangles the very nature of our true being. And if we are not living in our most honest and vulnerable selves, we are no longer living because we no longer live in the presence of unconditional love. We no longer reside in the place of self love that is necessary for every single relationship we encounter be it romantic and otherwise.

So now I stand in courageous vulnerability to face the fears that have overcome the child within and the wisdom of the heart. Fear is no longer welcome when light shines on its darkness. When light shines it creates shadow. On the other side of shadow is a place for fear for we need to know it is there at all times but our awareness of it is partly what powers and empowers us to stand and face it. Peeling back the layers of a closed heart will release the light that lives in the spirit of the heart. We can stand firmly in the face of fear when we realize there is no greater place to live our lives than to be standing in the face of courageous vulnerability.

And as I challenge you, I challenge myself. As I turn to face my own fears I encourage you to do the same. Yet, do it in the ways that make sense to you and in the ways that feel right for you. We all own our own fears and therefor need to face and embrace them in the ways that work for us. Welcome tiny steps to build the kind of momentum that will transform your being. After all, momentum favors the willing. Be willing and therefor you will be. Be and you shall become.

Reveal the light that you are.

The entire light.

Living in the Space Between Magic and What Could Be: Day 3

Tags

body knowledge, consciuos living, courage, courageous heart, Dance, education, equalizing our thinking, fear, growth, heart knowledge, living with compassion, quieting the heart, quieting the mind, right brain

Rational thinking is not always the right ingredient for making something new or expanding our understanding of the world.  It seems the over thinking mind clouds the space between magic and what could be.  This is not to say that we should not try and strive for greater intellect or reason, it is however a plea for finding balance between the left and right sides of the brain so that we might temper our ego in order to heart-speak our reality into beautiful new places.

 

It is a frustrating, and often times discouraging, finding yourself living in the world of “rational” thinkers. The land of the left brain, dominant, male driven conquer at all cost mind set has been a highly destructive place for those of us who listen to the creative mind and use our body knowledge to exist.  It has also been a place that has hindered our own deeper cultivation of what is possible for ourselves as well as the cultures and societies that we live in.

 

I have often wondered what I might have accomplished if I had not been living in a place of fear and inadequacy never fully understanding the different kinds of knowledge that exist or that I possessed? I wonder what children today are put through with all of the testing for intellect rather than seeing if young people can actually comprehend and make coherent connections with who they are, the world they live in and the potential that is deep within them?

 

As I look back and see myself, the choices I have made, and the many mistakes I have lived, I realize I could have taken a much different route and have been living a little more congruent with who I am, what I can do and how I have gone about doing it. You see when one is put against a wall in our particular culture one must learn how, or think they need to know how, to fight their way out. We all do this in very different ways. For me it has been a direct and at times acidic route that has not always sat well with my heart. I have regretted much of my voice in my past and can only work on changing that so that there is peace and light that springs forth from my lips rather than a tongue that sharply cuts the heart of the people around me.

 

Another thing that is crucial for myself is to take time between action and reaction so as to let love answer rather than the fear driven ego that wants to fight. As I stated earlier, there is so much lost in that moment, that space, that if we allow ourselves, if I allow myself, I will be able to open up myself to the flow that is possible reigniting the flames of creativity while letting negative things go unsaid. It is up to me to only correct what I am capable of rather than feeling the need to drive a change what is not possible.  

 

Getting lost in our fear and our insecurity always creates a block that inhibits our truest and most song filled voice. Wandering in the world that is incongruent with our hearts and our lives only serves to strangle our spirits rather than inspire our vision. It is time we live inside the space of magic and possibility with patience, trust and confidence. Existing here with the kind of courage it takes to walk the ways in which are right for you, in a time that is easy on your soul, and with love as the shield absorbing any and all doubt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty Days of Thoughts

Tags

Ballet, courage, courageous heart, Dance, Energy, faith, healing, hope, love, modern dance, science, sharing, space, spirituality, Technique, Writing, writing as a practice

So here it is, the 30th day of April, the day I embark on my challenge to write more and practice the art of sharing my thoughts through words. I normally share my perspective through abstract images created in a kinetic space by the carving of that space with the human body. Yes, I typically arrange bodies, time and ideas through the form of dance. I am a choreographer.

For some time now I have been feeling the need to share in a different medium yet have not had the courage enough to express my thoughts in a written format. I have, for the longest time, been afraid of writing due to my fear of not possessing the skills to do so eloquently or technically. Being this is the time for me to move within myself to find the courage to shift many of the things in my life, I have decided to challenge myself through sharing and transparency.

Life is a practice. My life in dance and healing has been a huge practice. Why is it that I should think I should be good at writing without the same intent and discipline? I should not. So, here it is, Thirty Days of Thoughts.

I welcome you to follow me through my challenge. I welcome your feedback. I welcome your energy. I welcome your support. I may not get it all “right”, but I promise myself to get it all done. Some thoughts may be short; some maybe long. The point is to practice and share in order to build confidence and momentum. Therefor, let the flow begin.