Celebrating Change

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, choice, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Love Between Men, loving, patience, peace, Soul to Soul, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being, wellness

There is a lot to be said for navigating dark waters. It’s scary. It’s difficult. There never seems to be movement forward. It’s exhausting both physically and mentally. It often feels as if this is the worst thing that could possibly be happening.

Yet, ironically, this is the best time. This is a time of the unknown. This is literally a gift that is signaling immense change and immense growth. This is actually a time to celebrate. This is a time of great healing that will transform your life for the better and create a new opportunity that will welcome joy, happiness, love and light.

This is your time. The is the time of new beginnings. This is a time of storing the murky water to actually allow it to settle more clearly. It is not the time to fight or to struggle. That never works in quick sand nor does it work in times of darkness. What does work is a change of focus and a change of mind.

Softly begin to shift how you see things. Gently allow yourself to celebrate your courage to actually welcome change. Recognize that you are a gentle warrior and your sword is that of love. For no matter what is happening, love will always pave the way with grace, dignity and light. No matter what, if you choose love as your point of view, at the end of your struggle you will be left with the love you invited in. And trust that love always wins. Especially when it comes to the love that is meant for you.

Fear Not The Sharing of Your Heart

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, dreams, Ecstasy, Existence, faith, fear, forgiveness, growth, heart, heart path, hope, inspiration, journey, joy, love, Magic, sharing, soul, spirit, universal heart, well being, wellness

Fear not the sharing of your heart, it is what the heart is made to do.

The heart itself has its own protection due to its magnificent design. The pericardium surrounds the heart encasing it to let it do it’s work.

So fear not the need to hold back out of fear or rejection; your heart is safe.

Since it’s very first beat, it has been sustaining you and pumping energy, breath and life. It keeps you in the flow and pulse of being simply by being itself. It has never given up on you.

So fear not the hearts fortitude and it’s commitment for keeping you well.

Throughout all of your early relationships, your heart automatically knew how to make connection as you entrained and grew its own magnetic field.

So fear not the hearts ability to connect and draw those close with whom are willing to listen.

Despite the conditioning of your journey; cultural, systemic or human dogma, your heart has always instinctively known who you are, dreamed to be and known you could be. It beats as your own innate drum.

So fear not standing out from the crowd and making the noise of your creation; the unique vibration, your unique vibration of love.

Even if folks have come and gone and life has not blessed you with the love you dreamed, there has always been love and will always be love surrounding you. In fact, love is the pericardium of your life. Love us in fact a magnetic field surrounding and connecting and protecting your very physical and energetic self.

Fear not that you have hurt and felt the pain and sorrow in which often is sustained by deep heartfelt connection; the heart is never scarred, only the ego.

Know that the heart will always beat in your favor welcoming the best for and wanting to connect with others. Know that it is up for another journey with a spirit who is willing the adventure of joy, bliss and ecstasy.

Fear not the sharing of the heart, it is the gift of connection that we are given to speak our story and change our world.

140 Days of Sitting

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body, change, changes, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, development, Energy, faith, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, learning, letting go, life, light, listening, love, Mindful Action, patience, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Teaching, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Today marks the 140th day of a meditation practice that I began as a 40 day challenge. To say that this time has been transformative would be completely denying the fullness of what sitting in peace has done for me. I am incredibly grateful for choosing to sit and practice my spiritual journey and do so with a commitment I have not had in decades.

Somewhere along the way of becoming I got lost in the going. Dreams, desires and societal and cultural expectations simply knocked me off balance. That of course is understandable when we succumb to the illusion of the busyness of being. We are sold that to be busy is to be successful. To be busy is to be validated. This is especially true in academia where I live to butter my bread.

Drifting through a sea of disillusionment it is easy to get lost when the goals are not congruent or in alignment with the true vibration of you. We think to know and yet what matters most is that we should feel to know and better yet, understand. And as the rocks tumble in this avalanche of despair we are seeing all around us, we see and feel how fear seems to be getting the best of us.

I made a conscious choice to heal while Covid ravaged our very existence. In a time of heightened fear, I chose freedom. In a time of chaos, I chose quietude. In a time of heartbreak, I chose healing. This is the key element in allowing ourselves the time and space to heal ourselves of the hurt, shame, trauma and fear that we have been collecting as well as spreading. For one can’t but help hurt others of in fact they are hurt themselves. Choosing to break the cycle of pain takes the courage to make the choice for change.

I realize not everyone believes in meditation nor is it part of many belief systems. Yet, what is part of all spiritual paths is the simple thread of the power of love that is woven through them all. For me, meditation has been a way to return to loving myself and therefore all those around me. Perhaps your path is different in the form of finding oneself, but regardless, sitting in meditation and opening the magnetic field of love that emanates from the heart is what allows for magic, wonderment and awe.

There have been many transformative, synchronistic and enchanted moments during these past 140 days. For this my heart is grateful. My body is also grateful. In addition, the energy I live in continues to make me giddy with ecstasy like I have not felt in years.

From where I sit now, all I can see is possibility. As I heal, I grow. As I grow, I become. As I become, I am able to welcome all that is in true alignment with the most beautiful vibration of me and the me that I can be. I accept and allow to do more good, no, more great in the world. I have it to give. And so I shall.

When The Heart Is Open, There Shall Be Blooms

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, energies, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, love, Love Between Men, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

It occurred to me today after a spin through the house that there are more orchids in bloom at one time than I have had in a long time or can even remember. It moved me quite a bit when the flash of insight passed highlighting that perhaps it could very well be due to all of the opening and blossoming of my own heart.

Could it be that the orchids are all reflecting/mirroring what it is I am feeling with all of this glorious heart work and healing? Could it be that when our energy shifts into the space of unconditional loving in all aspects of our doing, being and actions that the same energy is felt in the orchids themselves?

A wave of gratitude and grace passed over me and in fact a swelling of even more love seemed to fill and in fact overflow from my heart. And now, every time I pass one of them my heart seems to grow that much bigger and the arteries seem to flow with a freedom simply for admiring their beauty and their joy.

It made me wonder if in fact I might be in bloom again myself. Meaning, I wonder if I appear with that kind of beauty and grace to others who know or don’t know who I am? Oddly I had a young man chat me up last week and called me hottie Scottie. Struck me as a little odd but tickled me as well. Much like I am tickled by the beauty of the blooms I share my space with today.

I wonder how much more beauty can be shared by myself and the energies of my space? I wonder how much unconditional love I am capable of letting flow through this unabashed heart? I am giddy with the notion of thinking that perhaps this kind of love and energy is in fact endless since love is eternal.

Oh the joy of giving ourselves over to love and letting love be the champion of all of our lives and all of our dreams. So much gratitude for feeling the hope of love eternal once again and for finding the courage to open up and be vulnerable despite the moment of living we are currently in. May there be an endless flow for you and may you see your own beauty and grace reflected back to you in your own transformative blossoming.

Possibilities Abound

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, development, Dream, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Magic, Mindful Action, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Since Covid I have found myself giving over to healing from so much of my past that I never allowed myself the time to heal from. Despite the horrific tragedy of the pandemic and all of the lives lost and devastating heartbreak, I committed to choosing healing the heart as a way of taking time to honor the space of this moment.

A few years into what I have deemed my heart work, I am so grateful I made that choice and stuck with it as life returned to a new normal. What didn’t return was the man I was pre-pandemic. And for all of this I am able to see the immense change in who I am, what I desire and what is truly possible when one begins living from the heart and unconditional love.

As I diligently engage my meditation practice, my affirmation practice, my running practice, my waking practice, my movement practices and even my hypnosis; I see the abundance of possibilities that are there for me. Not a day goes by or a dream expressed that I don’t see the potential for a whole new life, mind and way of living.

Decisions have been made for huge shifts and transformative opportunities which slowly begin to reveal themselves in so many synchronicities and ah ha moments. I have returned to so many instinctual remembrance’s that all whisper that this is the right direction and path for my voice of the heart to begin speaking and literally singing once again.

This is the time and I realize, now more than ever, that the work I do, share and creates are needed now. My sensitivity, empathy, compassion and love is needed now. In these challenging and very turbulent times, I am needed now. As are you.

If we are going to move the world into the space of love, we all are needed now. In all of the many different ways, being and becoming; we are all so desperately needed for a time of healing for ourselves and for one another. The earth needs us. Our hearts need us. All that you love needs us.

In acknowledging that you are needed and putting the energy and focus in that loving space; possibilities will abound. You are capable of magic and miracles. We all are capable of magic and miracles. I choose magic and miracles each and every day. And let me tell you, it is divine.

Running Into Love

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allowing, becoming, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, heart, heart path, inspiration, love, Mindful Action, Movement, Running, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal heart, well being

I have recently committed to running again and just completed my fourth run into this new challenge. Since Covid and all the upheaval that came from all of that, I have found I needed to return to my body in a physical way outside of dance so that I could engage in a very different movement meditation than I am so used to. Running has always been that joy so I have decided it time tomorrow return to that love.

During my run today I found myself hearing this line which is the title of this post; running into love. I run without headphones and outside where I can be in nature and commune with the trees and animals to better drop into the meditative energy of what running does for me. Today was no exception and one of those download days.

When I heard running into love I immediately felt the profound connection as to what this commitment meant for me and why this return to joy was really about me running into the love of myself, my body and my spirit. Showing up for myself and letting my repetitive movement take me through space without the need to make, create or form movement for anyone rather than for myself is a huge shift for me. And that shift feels so good.

Taking the time to open my day so as to open my heart and release my legs through space has been so deeply satisfying and I can already feel the shifts both physiologically and physically in my form. Another reminder at just how quick we can transform ourselves in such little time with a simple commitment to loving ourselves in the ways that feel so very right for each and every one of us. Running just feels so right for me and reminds me that in all things, it must feel right and be in alignment with myself. If I am in that flow, transformative energy is engaged and the animation of spirit activated.

I am so grateful that I am simply showing up to run regardless of time, distance or ego. I begin and keep going until I feel like my body has done what it has needed to do. And undoubtedly, I have added distance and reduced the amount of time it takes to go those distances. Drop in, open the heart and let the magic flow. And like all things that are right for us, the good work happens right then and there. The good work of being exactly who you are, meant to be and in the act of love.

As I return to running I am invariably returning to the love of myself. Running into love is an act of rebellion in that it actively shifts mind and body to radically become the very best I can be in this moment. The very best of me loving myself, my body and this amazing life.

What are you “running” into?

Remembering The Joy Of You

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allowing, becoming, Believing, change, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, growth, heart, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, letting go, life, light, love, Mindful Action, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being

There often seems to be moments as of late when I am reminded of so many of the joys that have somehow escaped my life and I have unfortunately missed for some time. For so many of us, our lives get so busy and so focused that we lose track of the simple joys that filled our hearts and our bodies with such positive energy and happiness. Lately, by taking conscious time out for myself, I am started to feel those joys returning. And for this I am grateful.

Oddly, this isn’t as if I am searching to go back to something, but it is more like I am remembering the essence of who I am and the joys are deeply connected to that reminder. I look back over the past ten years and can see the slow numbing of the energy within that brought so many of those joys to life. During that time I lost the compass of my spirit and therefore the joys that were simple a part of the essence of my being.

Now, as I allow myself to fulfill my true nature, all of a sudden the things that brought so much joy are now re-emerging into so many aspects of my life. Fear, anger, shame and guilt are very powerful and suffocate our joys and the heartbreaking thing is that we often don’t realize it while in a state of hurt, grief or disappointment. But I assure you, the joys are still there albeit they may be presently unseen.

In fact, the joys never left you. Nor the essence of your true being. The noise, the conditioning, the chaos and the turmoil of the current moment may have buried them so deeply, but I assure you, the light of you is still there. It is your sacred energy and as we all know, you do not destroy energy, it is just transformed.

So in reality, if it was transformed once, it can be transformed again. Yes! You can return to the light if you but not by going back, but by going forward. Forge ahead so that you can meet yourself once again. Forge ahead so that you can walk in the light of you. Forge ahead so that your dreams can once again see the light of day. And remember, it is never too late.

Welcoming Inspiration

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allowing, change, changes, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, heart, hope, inspiration, Mindful Action, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart

In these turbulent times with our hearts and minds being pulled in so many different directions, it is now more important than ever to be opening ourselves up and welcoming inspiration back into our lives. If we are truly desiring transformation then we have to take this moment to allow the space for ourselves to commune with our desires and the inspiration to create a whole new life for ourselves.

When was the last time you took time out to remove yourself from the chaos and the noise and convene with nature? Is it possible for even just a few moments to sit by a tree, admire some flowers or dangle your feet in a stream? Nature speaks to us in a language that the heart understands with the heart being able to translate to us all through love.

When was the last time you took yourself to a museum, a play, to hear live music, to take an art class, to absorb all the beautiful things that the arts offer? Is it possible for just a few moments to consciously choose to let the arts speak to the heart in a language of creation which the heart understands?

It’s within these moments of pause and grace that we create the space to welcome inspiration. We have to willingly open space for ourselves to be able to listen to the majesty of nature, the magic of the arts and the creative spirit within. If we carve out these moments for ourselves we will open up space for the true nature of our beings and finally find the space to listen to our true selves.

If you wish for great change, you must make space for that change to take place. If you wish for a dream, you must willfully open time to have experiences that allow you to listen to the creative spirit within your hearts. If you want the life you always imagined, welcome inspiration within the space and time of your choosing. One moment welcomes the moment and momentum always favors the willing.

Strangling the Man Within

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being a man, Conscious Living, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, gay, humanness, love, sensitivity, Soul to Soul, spirit, Suffocate, vulnerability, Vulnerable, vulnerablitiy

Strangling the Man Within

As young boys we are taught to be strong. We are conditioned to not cry, show weakness or reveal any kind of fear. Image after image floods our minds with what it means to “be a man”. This cultural and societal training is suffocating for so many of us regardless of the spectrum sexual or masculine identity we possess at such a young age. 

This is a wheel of conditioning and constructing that has been turning, and continues to turn, that we most often don’t see or recognize it happening to us and around us. Oftentimes we don’t even have an inkling of what is happening because we have never seen or have been exposed to anything or anyone like ourselves due to the strangling of sensitivity by a cultural preference to hyper masculinity. 

Upon reflection, I had no idea what I was even doing to myself or others in the name of this conditioning. In all of this heartwork I have been doing I am unraveling the pain and hurt caused by the conflict of my sensitivity in a time of being a man. As a boy I had such a difficult time squaring my sensitivity in a world that couldn’t understand them. And for a little boy,this hurt deeply. 

Being so developmentally young I was raw within the conflict and having to live in these surroundings. This conflict then comes out in only the ways conflict can. Rage, fear, hurt, pain, anger and heartache forces you into lockdown so as not to reveal who one is but to in fact hide our true nature in addition to all of the pain simply to keep one safe. 

This safety is in fact a prison. We imprison ourselves to close off in order to survive or hide our sensitive energies. With our limited understanding we close out the world by desensitizing ourselves in the hopes of our own survival. We do so because it is all we know to find some kind of peace within all of this conflict. 

Yet, we all know this is the furthest thing from peace. We struggle to belong. I struggled deeply to belong. I did my best to survive by living around the edges so as to keep my sensitivity in check, often never understanding why I was always on the outside looking “in”. Mind you, I was somehow able to do so with love in my heart which is what I attribute to why I had so many friends and why I was so liked. All of this despite my conflict. 

One memory I have of a moment of hurt was with my dad that constantly reminds me of where I was and what I was feeling within. This was early in my teenage years before I was able to drive. My dad picked me up from a gathering of friends and something had happened during that gathering that deeply hurt me. 

As we were on the way home I was doing my best to hold back my tears and reveal my pain. Clearly I was not fully capable of hiding my sensitivity on all occasions. Who is? And so my weeping, my tears fell into the lap of silence. 

Moments like this were difficult for my dad. His conditioning did not train him how to engage with a young man who is not like what is expected or what he expected of a son. To his credit he was able to dialogue with me and try to figure out what was bothering me. It was very bold of him to try and I was appreciative of this. 

During the ride, as we were getting closer to home, he said something that has stuck with me my entire life. He said “you just have to learn how not to wear your heart on your sleeve”. Translated it says that in order to be happy you must not let yourself show vulnerability or weakness by being sensitive. 

And just like that, one retreats. We remove the heart from our sleeves and throw them out the car window in order to keep ourselves safe in hopes of success. Not sure how successful we can be as men if we are no longer living with a heart that we have thrown away. 

So we do our best to carry on with our sensitivity locked away and our hearts abandoned on the side of the road. I wonder how many hearts are lying in disarray on all the highways we travel daily? How many young boys and men have abandoned our hearts simply to belong to something that isn’t even in line with who we are? 

Is it a wonder why we live in conflict, create conflict and perpetuate conflict? Is it a wonder why we are incapable of long lasting relationships that we so desperately desire and want? Despite our sensitivity we have not learned that it is safe to move about the world without hiding ourselves from it.  

It is possible to return to the side of the road and retrieve one’s heart. I have done it. In order to do the heartwork for our spiritual salvation we must return to the side of the road where we have left it. Go back, stop the car and get out to pick it back up. Put it back on your sleeve and let it begin to beat deeply and find its way and your way home. 

Know this, you are a boy, a teen, a young man and a man regardless of where you fall in the “masculinity” and sensitivity spectrum. Regardless of your affiliation, identity or sexuality; you are a man. And this man can be sensitive. This man can be loving. This man can be vulnerable. This man can simply be the man that they are. You can be the man you are. And it is your heart that will tell you so. 

Let that man speak again. Let that man feel again. 

Sitting to Listen

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Believing, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, heart knowledge, listening, listening to the body, listening to the heart, love, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, well being, wellness

I have recently become aware of what my superpower is. In a Marvel Universe full of all the incredible beings saving everything in existence, I realize that in my marvelous reality I have none of the “powers” one would hope yet I possess the softest power of them all. After all of this time I am able to absorb, accept and be aware that my superpower is simply the ability to listen. 

I have been recognizing and becoming more aware of this quiet skill for some time now. It has taken a concerted effort to peel away the desire of our culture and society as a way of finally hearing the images, recognizing the omens and allowing for space to see my own truth. It has become clear to me that the notion of being a dancer, educator, choreographer, healer, singer and creative content provider are just simple reflections of what is actually within. 

Yes, I listen to what a dance needs when I am facilitating its creation so as to let it become what it needs and express what it needs to be. Yes, I hear with my eyes while looking at a sea of bodies in the studio while teaching so as to support the development and nurturing of bodies to become the vessel of the voices within. 

While healing, my hands become my ears as the body underneath them whispers what it needs and what is necessary to set free the energy to course correct and find harmony. The body’s ability to know what it needs and to be able to communicate this is crucial to its greatest health and well-being. 

I have been learning to sit in the company of others while emptying my mind of clutter and my heart of desire so that I might offer that space as a way of understanding and becoming keenly aware of what one’s heart needs. Similarly, I keep my heart open to hear who my dogs are and to allow them to share with me in their own ways what makes them safe, loved and appreciated. 

In my walking I have learned to hear what the earth has to say by letting her speak through my feet. With the mysteries of time she holds deeply within, each footfall unfolds it’s secrets and it’s heartache. Simultaneously, nature that surrounds me on these adventures also beckons to be heard so as to share its knowledge and magic as well. 

I have worked towards sitting in silence to open up my own heart so I can more deeply understand the darkness within and learn to untangle, unravel and “rewrite” a life lost in the quest to become an adult. Ironically I knew as a young boy I wanted to be an “idea guy”, someone who shared ideas and created things for companies. I didn’t have the words then or the awareness to realize at the time that I enjoyed listening and creating and doing so gave me so much joy. I instinctively knew my superpower but had no idea what that meant inside a world of noise full of the nonsense that strangles our hearts. 

So I have returned to being that child and to understand that what I knew deep within came from just being who I was and “naively” being true to what spoke to my heart and evoked joy. I strive to sit and listen in silence now so as to catch a whisper of the Divine as a way of recognizing the divine within. As I empty, I begin to glimpse the relationship of I AM. 

So what is your superpower? What is it that allows you to be the greatest you and an incredible contributor to a better life, a radiant love and a healer of this earth? Go ahead, I’m listening.