Open Roads Meeting The Feet

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, changes, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, faith, heart, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, lessons learned, light, listening, Magic, observations, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, thoughts, universal consciousness, universal heart, Vulnerable, well being, Wonder

Throughout my life I have had the wildest belief that I would always be ok. I never really questioned how I would make it or get along for myself. Faith just seemed to be something that was akin to the essence of who I was that to question never crossed my mind.

Living in the moment with the belief that life would take care of itself has always worked out even if I had no idea where I was headed. As a young adult I just followed my heart in everything I did and fell into roles, opportunities and career paths. Because I listened to my heart, the path listened too.

I had no idea dance would ever be such a big part of my life. No clue that I would end up where I am today at this moment helping other movement lovers find their bliss in a body falling through space. Not to mention helping folks find their voice in the creative art of dance making. But somehow, by listening to the heart and believing in life and therefore myself, I am here.

Most of the opportunities I fell into were simply because I chose love over someone else’s path or traditional professional trajectory. Not in the least bit. On the contrary, I just fell. And when I did fall, all I did was learn to listen. Despite the challenges or hardships; listening was the way I was able to make sense of it all.

And fall I did; on my face, my hands and knees, my back, my front and tumble upside down at mind numbing speeds. I fell and was always caught by love. The heart always seemed to land me on my feet and just before the landing being the path underneath me once again.

I never dreamed I would be in dance. Never dreamed I would be a healer. Never dreamed I would be an artistic director. Never dreamed I would be a professor. Never dreamed I would travel the world because of it. Never dreamed I would create an alignment system that would profoundly change so many peoples lives. And yet, I continue to choose to fall.

And now, it seems like it is time for another fall. It feels as though I am on the edge of a release to once again change my own world simply by having the faith to say yes and to once again accept that the universe will always care for me and surround me in love. I have always walked with angels by my side. This I know.

And so it is with this fate that I open my heart to say yes to whatever opportunity might come my way. Whatever will fall into place and into an existence that is so unexpected and so undeniably right now; then so it shall be. I choose to fall and I choose to once again be placed on a path that will most certainly change my world and perhaps others as well.

140 Days of Sitting

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body, change, changes, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, development, Energy, faith, health, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, learning, letting go, life, light, listening, love, Mindful Action, patience, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Teaching, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Today marks the 140th day of a meditation practice that I began as a 40 day challenge. To say that this time has been transformative would be completely denying the fullness of what sitting in peace has done for me. I am incredibly grateful for choosing to sit and practice my spiritual journey and do so with a commitment I have not had in decades.

Somewhere along the way of becoming I got lost in the going. Dreams, desires and societal and cultural expectations simply knocked me off balance. That of course is understandable when we succumb to the illusion of the busyness of being. We are sold that to be busy is to be successful. To be busy is to be validated. This is especially true in academia where I live to butter my bread.

Drifting through a sea of disillusionment it is easy to get lost when the goals are not congruent or in alignment with the true vibration of you. We think to know and yet what matters most is that we should feel to know and better yet, understand. And as the rocks tumble in this avalanche of despair we are seeing all around us, we see and feel how fear seems to be getting the best of us.

I made a conscious choice to heal while Covid ravaged our very existence. In a time of heightened fear, I chose freedom. In a time of chaos, I chose quietude. In a time of heartbreak, I chose healing. This is the key element in allowing ourselves the time and space to heal ourselves of the hurt, shame, trauma and fear that we have been collecting as well as spreading. For one can’t but help hurt others of in fact they are hurt themselves. Choosing to break the cycle of pain takes the courage to make the choice for change.

I realize not everyone believes in meditation nor is it part of many belief systems. Yet, what is part of all spiritual paths is the simple thread of the power of love that is woven through them all. For me, meditation has been a way to return to loving myself and therefore all those around me. Perhaps your path is different in the form of finding oneself, but regardless, sitting in meditation and opening the magnetic field of love that emanates from the heart is what allows for magic, wonderment and awe.

There have been many transformative, synchronistic and enchanted moments during these past 140 days. For this my heart is grateful. My body is also grateful. In addition, the energy I live in continues to make me giddy with ecstasy like I have not felt in years.

From where I sit now, all I can see is possibility. As I heal, I grow. As I grow, I become. As I become, I am able to welcome all that is in true alignment with the most beautiful vibration of me and the me that I can be. I accept and allow to do more good, no, more great in the world. I have it to give. And so I shall.

Possibilities Abound

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, beleif, Believing, bliss, body knowledge, change, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, development, Dream, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, hope, humanity, inspiration, journey, joy, learning, life, light, love, Magic, Mindful Action, peace, sharing, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Wonder

Since Covid I have found myself giving over to healing from so much of my past that I never allowed myself the time to heal from. Despite the horrific tragedy of the pandemic and all of the lives lost and devastating heartbreak, I committed to choosing healing the heart as a way of taking time to honor the space of this moment.

A few years into what I have deemed my heart work, I am so grateful I made that choice and stuck with it as life returned to a new normal. What didn’t return was the man I was pre-pandemic. And for all of this I am able to see the immense change in who I am, what I desire and what is truly possible when one begins living from the heart and unconditional love.

As I diligently engage my meditation practice, my affirmation practice, my running practice, my waking practice, my movement practices and even my hypnosis; I see the abundance of possibilities that are there for me. Not a day goes by or a dream expressed that I don’t see the potential for a whole new life, mind and way of living.

Decisions have been made for huge shifts and transformative opportunities which slowly begin to reveal themselves in so many synchronicities and ah ha moments. I have returned to so many instinctual remembrance’s that all whisper that this is the right direction and path for my voice of the heart to begin speaking and literally singing once again.

This is the time and I realize, now more than ever, that the work I do, share and creates are needed now. My sensitivity, empathy, compassion and love is needed now. In these challenging and very turbulent times, I am needed now. As are you.

If we are going to move the world into the space of love, we all are needed now. In all of the many different ways, being and becoming; we are all so desperately needed for a time of healing for ourselves and for one another. The earth needs us. Our hearts need us. All that you love needs us.

In acknowledging that you are needed and putting the energy and focus in that loving space; possibilities will abound. You are capable of magic and miracles. We all are capable of magic and miracles. I choose magic and miracles each and every day. And let me tell you, it is divine.

Welcoming Inspiration

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allowing, change, changes, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, heart, hope, inspiration, Mindful Action, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart

In these turbulent times with our hearts and minds being pulled in so many different directions, it is now more important than ever to be opening ourselves up and welcoming inspiration back into our lives. If we are truly desiring transformation then we have to take this moment to allow the space for ourselves to commune with our desires and the inspiration to create a whole new life for ourselves.

When was the last time you took time out to remove yourself from the chaos and the noise and convene with nature? Is it possible for even just a few moments to sit by a tree, admire some flowers or dangle your feet in a stream? Nature speaks to us in a language that the heart understands with the heart being able to translate to us all through love.

When was the last time you took yourself to a museum, a play, to hear live music, to take an art class, to absorb all the beautiful things that the arts offer? Is it possible for just a few moments to consciously choose to let the arts speak to the heart in a language of creation which the heart understands?

It’s within these moments of pause and grace that we create the space to welcome inspiration. We have to willingly open space for ourselves to be able to listen to the majesty of nature, the magic of the arts and the creative spirit within. If we carve out these moments for ourselves we will open up space for the true nature of our beings and finally find the space to listen to our true selves.

If you wish for great change, you must make space for that change to take place. If you wish for a dream, you must willfully open time to have experiences that allow you to listen to the creative spirit within your hearts. If you want the life you always imagined, welcome inspiration within the space and time of your choosing. One moment welcomes the moment and momentum always favors the willing.

Returning to Body

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Ballet, begin again, beginners mind, choreograph, choreographer, choreography, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Dance, gender, physicality, Soul to Soul

For this new moon I focused on setting my intentions and one of the things that I put out there was to find more ways in which I could alter my habitual patterning and find out what else I might be able to rekindle or ignite in terms of my creativity. There are a lot of things I would like to reawaken and reinspire myself to do. 

One of those things was to take risks creatively and to find myself in situations that will provide me an opportunity for greater exploration and discovery. Wonderfully I am one of six folks sharing and teaching for a queer creative workshop series. One of the things that is important to me is to support this series so as it can build momentum and a community. 

I have decided to not just teach but also to energetically and financially support this wonderful adventure. So, I have chosen a few of the workshops to attend and today was the first of them. It was rather exciting to sign up and get my energy focused and ready for this process. 

It was rather exciting to be a student again. Very exciting to not have to be the instructor or hold the space as I normally would. It wa such a luxury to just be and do in the ways of a person exploring the process and not driving it. 

I really enjoyed going through the creative process and being able to find a new way of making that was different from my own or at least inspired by a whole new perspective. I was also dancing so freely and with abandonment. Such a divine reverie that I have not felt in a long time. 

I was in my body again discovering in community. I was exploring and expanding movement possibilities with the focus on my quads as the inspiration or spark for how I was feeling about gender or feeling gender in my body. So good to fall back to the essence of my being simply by dropping down into my body. 

I realize how much I have missed this. I realized how much I would like to get back into the studios like this and just do and be to become all I can in my body. Time is wide long away and it would be nice to be in love with my moving body again and rekindle that passion and love of physicality and spirit. 

And so I found myself again. I remembered my physical being that I lost many years ago. I see him again. I feel him returning with every gesture, movement and phrasing. The light is retiring and there is a reanimation in process. Such a joy to return. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 24

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Ballet, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, Dance, dyslexic, faith, healing, letting go, love, momentum, progress, queer creativity, releasing, releasing fear, releasing shame, Soul to Soul, spirit, Writing, writing as a practice, young relationships

We become who we are by simply being and doing. We evolve into our fullest selves when we are present in our lives and paying close attention to the moments that accumulate the momentum to break open the space for our spirit to flourish. We must always be in a state of active being, doing and creating. 

Every single one of us is a creative being. We are solution seekers, problem solvers and dream makers. All of us are alchemists turning our own very lead into our own very gold. That is why we are constantly being reminded that there is plenty of abundance and prosperity for each and every one of us. It is ours to make, do and be. 

As I have been writing all month in the personal challenge I have written on an accumulative DOC so that I can see my progress; my momentum. And yes, as I have taken responsibility for not writing every day, as I scroll through my writing I realize I have “exercised” this muscle a lot. I have created momentum regardless. 

It’s another example of incremental success that I have to acknowledge and then also be grateful for. Oddly I do write in my journal of morning pages daily. That practice has come from Julia Cameron’s, The Artist’s Way. A practice that changed my creative life many years ago that I continue to keep. It has helped to quiet the mind and clear the space to face the day with a sense of openness. What is different about that and these writings is the next step of sharing the thoughts in a public forum. 

The step of vulnerability is a huge shift. Opening one’s thoughts to others is a little revealing and takes courage and confidence to stand in one’s own ideas and ideals. Especially when you are dyslexic such as myself. It is easier to hand write in a journal and not have to worry about writing and getting the spelling and grammar correct. Or to be able to carry a through line for your reader. But the risk far outweighs not doing so. Especially when you can literally see your momentum. 

I also recognize momentum in the affirmation/meditation books I read as part of my morning rituals. I started two new books at the beginning of the year and every day I watch myself open the book and find that with every turn of the page, I get closer to the end. I build on that success one day at a time. Again another visual reminder that slow and steady wins the race. 

I also should share that as a young guy, a child and teen, I never read. I was so busy outside doing and being that I never really picked up books. It wasn’t something I did, was part of my family upbringing or was an interest. So not reading was big in my slower development as a writer and kept me safe from the uncomfortable recognition that I was dyslexic. 

All that said I remember being shamed and humiliated by my first love when he ridiculed me for not reading. Telling me I would never finish a book in my life and never be smart enough to read as much as he did. Crazy right, that as a 17 year old you hear someone you love shame you for something you can’t help, haven’t learned or has not been a part of your culture? 

Nevertheless I have accumulated quite a library in addition to diving deeply into my research and my work. That as well as reading for pure pleasure. Book by book filling shelves by shelves and building my own transformation by simply doing and being. And every time I close a book that I finish, I hold that book up and say, “Well, there’s another one Scott”.

So one book at a time, one page at a time, one moment at a time and we then have momentum. We can see our progress not only in the accumulation of material, but in the transformation of ourselves. We are able to then recognize the shifts and changes in our voice, our awareness and ultimately our gifts. 

Bit by bit, choice but choice, change by change; we become our fullest potential.

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 20

Tags

Believing, champion, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, creative energy, Creative Flow, creative process, creative spirit, Dance, faith, gay, love, queer, queer champion, queer creativity, Queer spirit, Soul to Soul, spirit

6/25/21

If we do the math we can clearly see, and I can clearly admit, that I have been unsuccessful in writing for thirty consecutive days this month. Yes, I have failed. But, I am just fine with that. Where I have succeeded is that I am writing anyway and will complete thirty days just not in a row. And this right here is resilience. 

What I have been seeing reveal itself is a comfortability in writing on a regular basis and being more present to see things during the day that sparks creativity or connection of dots and information that I am working on. It is rather exciting to be realizing there is so much I want to talk about and share. 

An example of this was on a walk with the boys yesterday as we were honoring the Strawberry Supermoon. I was needing to title my presentation for the Queer Artist symposium coming up in August and while walking in nature and being present among the trees, it hit me. Very clearly the title dropped into my awareness and was spot on. 

Once that happened I walked in silence with the boys and came to a clearing. What I noticed first was a man moving his arms in such a way that was not typical gestures for someone standing by themselves. It was a pulling and gathering motion with his head looking up with a great deal of focus and concentration. As I looked to the place he was staring at in the sky I realized he was flying a kite. 

This made me smile. Here in this clearing a grown man was out taking advantage of this beautiful day to be by himself and fly his kite. He was unleashing his child and doing something atypical of a grown man on a lovely afternoon. 

As we walked more closely to him we caught one another’s eye and I smiled. He returned the smile briefly as he quickly returned to his focus and work of managing his work. A brief acknowledgment of knowing and then off we went. 

This really made my heart sing as it reminded me that we all need to just do the things that make us happy regardless of age, place or culture. Yes, go fly that kite of yours and do so proudly with great joy and with confidence and grace. 

And so my little pack kept on walking. We headed back along the trail that took us deeper into the woods and the conversation with the trees. Yes trees do speak if we are willing to listen. And I do credit the trees for the title I mentioned earlier. They offer some great creative connections if one listens. 

After a little bit of walking we began to hear some music. It sounds faint and almost as if it is coming from a transistor radio. I don’t yet see anyone as there are trees between us and the place where the sound is coming from. Clearly someone is on a different trail close by listening to a soundtrack for their walk. 

We continue walking and all of a sudden, in a little clearing, I see a man on a bike peddling carefully to manage the terrain on his bike. It is strange because he too looks like a little boy doing his best to keep his balance and not fall over. It’s almost as if he just learned how to ride a bike. 

But the really interesting thing to me was his score that accompanied this whole unique image. He was listening to some seriously deep twangy country music and living his best life on his bike. And there it was again, a reminder to just do what makes sense to you and to play the soundtrack of your life while you are doing it. No matter what. You don’t have to do it well, look gray doing it or need to be with anyone to do it. Just do it. 

And of course I smiled and continued walking. And just a few steps away, as the sound moved away from us in the opposite direction, it hit me. The images I was fortunate to see were a reminder that we all should just fly our flags. Regardless of the flag and it’s meaning, if the meaning isn’t hurtful or from a place of hate, fly it with pride. 

This was super profound with it being pride month and all. And so I smiled and recognized the need for myself to be more proud and to express and share the flag, or dare I say many flags, I have to fly. And yes, I have made a commitment to up my gay and be more visible not because I don’t live out loud, but because perhaps I simply just need to be visible for folks that might need a champion for them. 

So this brings me back to the title that hit me so magically at the beginning of my walk. What spoke to me was very much a way I have been living my creative life and very much a part of my multidimensional queer life. The title being, “Present in Ones Power: Embracing Queer Body, Mind and Spirit. 

So there it is, one of those flags I talked about. And yes, right now at this moment I am flying my flag and super excited to fly it for this queer workshop. And, just to fly my flag at any time to be that champion and safe place or person for someone who has yet to be able to fly theirs for whatever reason. Being present and proud through whatever work I do is a flag in and of itself. 

Happy Pride folks! And be sure to check out the Queer Embodiment and Creative Process workshops at Dogtown Dance in Richmond, Virginia July 3,10, 17, 24, 31 and August 7 from 1:00PM-2:30PM. There will be all kinds of wonderful interactive presentations and sharing and yes, all are welcome. Hope to see as many of you as you can make. I will be the last person to share on August 7. Come out and watch me fly the flag in real time. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 13

Tags

Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, creative energy, Creative Flow, creative process, creative spirit, Creativity, Dance, gay romance, love, Love Between Men, male love, realization, Soul to Soul, spirit

“That’s the strange thing about us, even if the heart is lost we are still capable of giving love. The only difficulty is when the heart is no longer there, it’s almost impossible to receive love”.

This is a line from one of the characters I am working with on a project that has been whirling around me for years. Last night’s dreams brought so many of the challenges of the story into new light and lifted the veil of not knowing how to connect the dots.  

There were so many lines that revealed themselves along with imagery and poetic metaphors for things that it became all too clear how this story needed to be told. Especially the time frame and the place. 

One thing that struck me was how much I was thinking about the writing as a linear format rather than the organic way I normally tell stories, present imagery or make work. For some reason I never thought to write something like this the same way I make dances. The dream last night basically was the movie of the work and it was unfolding image after image. 

I am pretty excited about rewiring the process abs in some ways making it a little more messy. Layout all the moments and images and then shade shape and form from there. This work is begging for a collage and is needing to be presented through a movement perspective rather than a literary perspective. Spending time in the depth of each imagistic moment is what always works for me in dance and seems to be the way the story is begging to be told here. 

It seems as if I am getting the “picture” that in order for me to write, I must write like a choreographer. In order for me to convey my ideas, I need to shape worlds like I shape dance works in space. It’s a big ah ha for me to realize I just have to keep creating the way that is best and works for me rather than trying to create in a way that works for others. Stay in the creative flow you know and let the medium be the variable. 

I have a lot of scribbling and imaging to do today so I think it will be enough for today’s thoughts. My intention was to talk about the line I started with but I think I will save that for tomorrow. Happy to explain why the character says what he does and what it all means. But for now, I’m rather inspired to get to making; dancing my way through the story. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 3

Tags

choreography, creative energy, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, Dance, dance makers, dance making, dancers, dancing, energetic pathways, Energy, energy flow, joy, Movement, venation

6/3/21

After the last two days of sharing and taking you back to the intersection of creativity and spirituality I thought it might be fun to take a walk down memory lane and share a little about the first seeds of the abundant work that followed from my first professional work called Venation. 

I was so inspired by the Tao Te Ching, Qigong and energy work in general that I wanted to research energy more and pull together the eastern and western essence in this process. So off I went to look to science, specifically contemporary physics, to see what I could see. And there went the box to the lid that has still yet to be closed. 

I researched and researched from both a traditional and contemporary perspective using imagery and concepts from both to create a men’s quartet that would gain a lot of traction by premiering at a shared concert with some of my colleagues in the Chicago modern scene and danced by myself, Raven, Krenly and Troy. It was a powerhouse premier that ended up being performed in several venues and festivals throughout the next few years. 

It was my first taste of doing that kind of in depth research and work which carried me even further down the rabbit hole of inspiration. Oddly I continue the investigation as a way of explaining my belief that “choreography is the art of shaping energy in space”. This very simple belief system for myself was the best way I could explain how I made dances or more honestly how I see dances being manifested in space by how my eyes see time falling bodies organized in an artful and poetic way. 

I worked this way for several years before deciding to run off to graduate school where I would have to really justify my process, clarify the research and be able to qualitatively and quantitatively convince my thesis panel of my beliefs. I remember Donald McKayle expressing what a unique way of looking at dance making and the way I see energy as a way of making sense and the matter of dances. 

This would continue in this fashion until the premier of Amaranth Contemporary Dance in 2006 for a concert entitled Experiment in White. This title was a nod to the company I had in Chicago, Cerulean Dance Theater, and our major concert Experiment in Blue. It is very clear my need to connect the dots, pay homage and to remember where all of the work comes from. The heart has been the energy throughout this process and will always be the fire energy necessary for the art of making dances. That and the art of using conscious movement to heal ourselves physically, energetically and spiritually. Art is really from the heART. 

The photo is from a shoot to promote Venation. Photo Credit: William Frederking

Lifting Lines/Morphing Visions: Autumn 5

Tags

acceptance, allowing, art, artist, Ballet, becoming, choreographer, choreography, contemporary dance, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, Dance, modern dance, natural, natural beauty, nature, organic, process, wabi sabi

Of all the work I have created, nothing can compare to the majesty of natures creations. What comes from the flow of energetic creative cultivation can not come close to the magnificence of the natural and loving world. There is a timeless and universal beauty that is without comparison to what can be made of the human body.

Let us also not get caught in the confines of our ego as we participate in the creative process. Let us share in the joy of this kind of blissful flow without finding ourselves attaching our ego to the birth of that which we shape. We should not hold this ephemeral beauty hostage. Work needs to be set free just like the human spirit.

In the moment of unconditional sharing, this is the time when our work and its unique vibration of being is the closest it can get to the beauty within nature. This is the moment when the works speaks directly the the human heart which is the direct line to the nature of humanity and its link to the organic compounds of the universe itself.