Acceptance

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acceptance, accepting what is, Believing, challenge, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, dyslexic, empathy, evolve, faith, growth, love, Soul to Soul, spirit, transformation

After all this time I have come to accept that being dyslexic is actually my super power. For so long I have hidden this aspect of myself and did not even know what it was or that there was a name for why I saw things, spoke the way I did or wrote the way I did. All this time I just lived with the shame and humiliation that there was something wrong with me or that I was just not intelligent enough. 

And now, I am opening myself up to simply accepting it as something that has truly been an asset and as a secret super power. Yes, my brain works differently than others but because of this I see, sense and experience the world in a way that has heightened me being an empath and healer that I am. Not to mention the creativity that I bring to making dances and building kinetic worlds. 

The other rather interesting thing that has come of coming out as dyslexic is that I have successfully built skills to work with it and through it to write and express myself better. The 30 day challenges I have given myself have helped to simply practice these skills and to build confidence in making small shifts in my courage to write. 

We know that we are able to change neural pathways and use neuroplasticity as a tool for remapping and relearning things. Because of this, folks don’t have to suffer in silence or believe themselves to be inferior or broken. It’s like many things we hide to avoid shame but in reality, if we open ourselves up, we find it possible to heal and to work through what is in fact solvable. 

What would it be like if we supported so many others on whatever journey they were on? What would it be like if we lead with acceptance and love rather than expectation and fear? Would we not all be more open and supportive? Would our lives be that much less difficult? It seems to me we all could live with a lot less trauma and a lot more acceptance. 

Why is it we as human beings feel a need to only feel safe when we are all the same? Why do we do this to one another? What is so comforting about being like everyone else and othering those that we don’t understand or fear? Don’t we in fact learn so much from our differences and grow because of them? 

I know for me there would have been a lot less mountains of healing to climb would I really have known that all of who I was/am was always good enough and embraced. If I was to say anything to my younger self it would be to not fear who I am and to live unabashedly unashamed. Live loud. Live big. And most of all, love yourself like no one could ever love you. 

Perhaps we all could find it within ourselves to encourage this in ourselves and in all of those we come into contact with. Perhaps we could practice acceptance and sometimes learn to live with what makes us uncomfortable at times. There is a lot the body can teach us when we lean into our discomfort and find out what is hiding within that. 

More and more I try to find out what is lurking in the uneasiness that needs my attention. Facing those moments and bringing them into my awareness is where the transformation happens. And trust me, there is a lot of transformation still to happen. 

I have found that admitting who I really was and facing what being dyslexic meant was a moment of great freedom and oddly great pride. Like many things in my life, I am relearning how to live with great pride and acceptance of the fullness of my being. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 24

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Ballet, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, creative process, Creativity, Dance, dyslexic, faith, healing, letting go, love, momentum, progress, queer creativity, releasing, releasing fear, releasing shame, Soul to Soul, spirit, Writing, writing as a practice, young relationships

We become who we are by simply being and doing. We evolve into our fullest selves when we are present in our lives and paying close attention to the moments that accumulate the momentum to break open the space for our spirit to flourish. We must always be in a state of active being, doing and creating. 

Every single one of us is a creative being. We are solution seekers, problem solvers and dream makers. All of us are alchemists turning our own very lead into our own very gold. That is why we are constantly being reminded that there is plenty of abundance and prosperity for each and every one of us. It is ours to make, do and be. 

As I have been writing all month in the personal challenge I have written on an accumulative DOC so that I can see my progress; my momentum. And yes, as I have taken responsibility for not writing every day, as I scroll through my writing I realize I have “exercised” this muscle a lot. I have created momentum regardless. 

It’s another example of incremental success that I have to acknowledge and then also be grateful for. Oddly I do write in my journal of morning pages daily. That practice has come from Julia Cameron’s, The Artist’s Way. A practice that changed my creative life many years ago that I continue to keep. It has helped to quiet the mind and clear the space to face the day with a sense of openness. What is different about that and these writings is the next step of sharing the thoughts in a public forum. 

The step of vulnerability is a huge shift. Opening one’s thoughts to others is a little revealing and takes courage and confidence to stand in one’s own ideas and ideals. Especially when you are dyslexic such as myself. It is easier to hand write in a journal and not have to worry about writing and getting the spelling and grammar correct. Or to be able to carry a through line for your reader. But the risk far outweighs not doing so. Especially when you can literally see your momentum. 

I also recognize momentum in the affirmation/meditation books I read as part of my morning rituals. I started two new books at the beginning of the year and every day I watch myself open the book and find that with every turn of the page, I get closer to the end. I build on that success one day at a time. Again another visual reminder that slow and steady wins the race. 

I also should share that as a young guy, a child and teen, I never read. I was so busy outside doing and being that I never really picked up books. It wasn’t something I did, was part of my family upbringing or was an interest. So not reading was big in my slower development as a writer and kept me safe from the uncomfortable recognition that I was dyslexic. 

All that said I remember being shamed and humiliated by my first love when he ridiculed me for not reading. Telling me I would never finish a book in my life and never be smart enough to read as much as he did. Crazy right, that as a 17 year old you hear someone you love shame you for something you can’t help, haven’t learned or has not been a part of your culture? 

Nevertheless I have accumulated quite a library in addition to diving deeply into my research and my work. That as well as reading for pure pleasure. Book by book filling shelves by shelves and building my own transformation by simply doing and being. And every time I close a book that I finish, I hold that book up and say, “Well, there’s another one Scott”.

So one book at a time, one page at a time, one moment at a time and we then have momentum. We can see our progress not only in the accumulation of material, but in the transformation of ourselves. We are able to then recognize the shifts and changes in our voice, our awareness and ultimately our gifts. 

Bit by bit, choice but choice, change by change; we become our fullest potential.