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Architecture of the Heart

~ Breathing through my feet while exhaling and diving into the vast ocean of space and time

Architecture of the Heart

Tag Archives: empathy

Acceptance

16 Monday Aug 2021

Posted by oberonsky in Musings, Soul to Soul

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acceptance, accepting what is, Believing, challenge, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, dyslexic, empathy, evolve, faith, growth, love, Soul to Soul, spirit, transformation

After all this time I have come to accept that being dyslexic is actually my super power. For so long I have hidden this aspect of myself and did not even know what it was or that there was a name for why I saw things, spoke the way I did or wrote the way I did. All this time I just lived with the shame and humiliation that there was something wrong with me or that I was just not intelligent enough. 

And now, I am opening myself up to simply accepting it as something that has truly been an asset and as a secret super power. Yes, my brain works differently than others but because of this I see, sense and experience the world in a way that has heightened me being an empath and healer that I am. Not to mention the creativity that I bring to making dances and building kinetic worlds. 

The other rather interesting thing that has come of coming out as dyslexic is that I have successfully built skills to work with it and through it to write and express myself better. The 30 day challenges I have given myself have helped to simply practice these skills and to build confidence in making small shifts in my courage to write. 

We know that we are able to change neural pathways and use neuroplasticity as a tool for remapping and relearning things. Because of this, folks don’t have to suffer in silence or believe themselves to be inferior or broken. It’s like many things we hide to avoid shame but in reality, if we open ourselves up, we find it possible to heal and to work through what is in fact solvable. 

What would it be like if we supported so many others on whatever journey they were on? What would it be like if we lead with acceptance and love rather than expectation and fear? Would we not all be more open and supportive? Would our lives be that much less difficult? It seems to me we all could live with a lot less trauma and a lot more acceptance. 

Why is it we as human beings feel a need to only feel safe when we are all the same? Why do we do this to one another? What is so comforting about being like everyone else and othering those that we don’t understand or fear? Don’t we in fact learn so much from our differences and grow because of them? 

I know for me there would have been a lot less mountains of healing to climb would I really have known that all of who I was/am was always good enough and embraced. If I was to say anything to my younger self it would be to not fear who I am and to live unabashedly unashamed. Live loud. Live big. And most of all, love yourself like no one could ever love you. 

Perhaps we all could find it within ourselves to encourage this in ourselves and in all of those we come into contact with. Perhaps we could practice acceptance and sometimes learn to live with what makes us uncomfortable at times. There is a lot the body can teach us when we lean into our discomfort and find out what is hiding within that. 

More and more I try to find out what is lurking in the uneasiness that needs my attention. Facing those moments and bringing them into my awareness is where the transformation happens. And trust me, there is a lot of transformation still to happen. 

I have found that admitting who I really was and facing what being dyslexic meant was a moment of great freedom and oddly great pride. Like many things in my life, I am relearning how to live with great pride and acceptance of the fullness of my being. 

Wisdom and Wellness Resides Within

21 Saturday Mar 2020

Posted by oberonsky in Elemental Body Alignment System (EBAS), Musings, Soul to Soul

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art, change, changes, courageous heart, empathy, heart, inspiration, learning, life, light, love, loving, observations, shifting paradigm, together, transformation, vulnerablitiy

I have been feeling compelled to sit down and reach out through writing once again. Looking at the date of the last post I realize I have been away for quite some time. I believe the last post was dated October first and now we are over six months beyond that. And boy has so much transpired and has changed since then. This is exactly the topic of thought that has been speaking to me recently and the need for this particular sharing.

Mind you, even despite all the recent and unprecedented shifts that the entire world has been required to take notice of, transformation has been taking place for me on many levels for quite some time now. Change that I feel has been necessary and honestly long overdue. I am just grateful I have been able to recognize the importance of that change for myself and for all of those I have ever or will ever come into contact.

The biggest most impactful impetus for deepening my spiritual and internal relationship with myself was when I began to ask questions about what there was left for me to do now that both of my boys had passed, relationship ended and being no longer in love with dance? It was an empty and bleak time of sadness, grief, and disappointment. What is left when the darkness seems to be holding your breath and your heart hostage?

Lucky for me I was doing a great deal of meditation to cope and to somehow find my breath and my heart again. In one meditation I was doing for the new year I was simply doing my best to focus on breath and to listen to my body as I have always required of my students. This particular meditation brought to  my awareness a line that said a few times “just look”. So after that meditation I felt like I understood what that meant and reached for my computer to do just that, just look.

What was I looking for, I knew I was looking for a love that needed me and a being that perhaps would shake my heart into remembering there are so many beings in need of each and everyone of us and that we are necessary and important energies to and for one another. And in this instance, I knew it was a dog. They have always been significant for me on so many levels and I knew at this point it was what the message was saying. Just look for a dog.

So there I was after my meditation opening a computer to see if there was a dog that was speaking to me; and almost as immediately as I got on the site did my little one reach out through technology releasing the strangle hold on my heart. I knew when I looked into his soulful eyes that he needed me and I most definitely needed him. But what was the likelihood this adorable puppy was still available? Well if you are a believer in synchronicity as I am, you know without a doubt things will be as they need be. And with that and a bunch of simple steps, he became mine.

This change to matter for something or someone changes us. Recognizing that we are in fact necessary for the well-being of others and that we all have tremendous gifts to give, way beyond the value of money, is transformational in and of itself. This kind of awakening is the beginning of understanding our individual ability to access a resilience that is undeniable and incredibly powerful. There is great power within when we allow ourselves to let others in despite the unmistakeable necessity of vulnerability.

Being in this state and recognizing the need for each one of us to understand we have something to offer and that we are capable of so much more than we are able to fathom in this moment is crucial. This along with accepting that we too need others in all kinds of ways to fulfill what it means to be full so we can be fully human. It is after all those that surround us who fill us up with so much that we are able to allow ourselves to have such incredible human experiences necessary for living in love.

So for the past year and a half I have been doing my best to make shifts and changes in my life that welcomes a sense of being present and aware in and of my actions. I have worked at creating more space before I speak or allowing space for others to speak. I have tried to listen to my students more by creating more space for them to feel and to recognize their bodies are speaking to them and that this space for reflection is when we can open ourselves up to this great sensorial listening. The body has so much to say and is such an incredible gift to our wellness both physically and energetically.

Slow and steady revealing of oneself is an effort filled and conscious choice we must make in order to live more energetically fulfilling lives that are well balanced, congruent and more heartfelt. It takes patience and fortitude to build a resiliency in order to give ourselves over to accepting transformation. If we are able to quiet the voice of fear we will be able to turn up the volume of our body. Once we are able to listen, we will be able to transform. It is with corporeal wisdom that we are then able to see more clearly because we are now seeing and sensing from our hearts.

Currently we are living in a frenetic and trying time. So much chaos, uncertainty and fear. And rightly so. It is a new world and one that will need a great deal of breath, compassion, empathy and love to navigate through. Yet, accepting and acknowledging that this is difficult, heartbreaking, uncomfortable and unknown is such a very great place to be in recognizing that we have a choice to welcome and embrace change and therefor be the transformation necessary for our own lives and for the lives of others. This is the time for acceptance of the self and all that we are capable of becoming and learning through being present in the midst of instability. This is resilience and thus becomes resourceful and soulful.

I must admit I am rather excited about having to shift my work into a whole new medium for myself. I accept I have a huge learning curve but also acknowledge that my students do too. We can do this together. I can be a person who might create the space for us to navigate and grapple with these shifts through the training of the body through our EBAS practice as well as creating work and making work work for us. This process is not only artistic but simultaneously is healing and heartening. We will discover what we are made of and that what we are made of is ever so beautiful and divine.

I am looking forward to creating space to allow my students to look within to find their wellspring of heart and of voice. I am looking forward to the changes I will see in myself as I do my best to welcome being present and in being forgiving of self and of others during the process. I am viewing this necessity of change as yet another part of my growth spiritually, emotionally and artistically. I recognize this is something that perhaps I have been needing and that perhaps we have all been needing. I for one am seeing my work with new eyes and with a new heart.

May we all find a way to welcome the wisdom of wellness to speak to us as we quiet ourselves through movement and the changes necessary to thrive. May we reach out if we need help. May we reach out to give hope. May we be with others in ways unknown but yet critically important. May we be the light to fill others so that we all shine for and with one another. May love light this way.

One Word Week

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by oberonsky in Musings, Soul to Soul

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, change, compassion, Conscious Living, empathy, equality, graciousness, harmony, justice, love, peace, respect, seeing others, sharing, supporting

In the wake of all of this goodness, I have been so amazed by the noise that surrounds it all. Saying this isn’t commenting on the perceived positive or negative noise that always surrounds the shifting of times, but rather the amount of outpouring and claiming through celebration. Again, this is not a comment on the pride or needed exhale, but rather watching in wonderment of it all.

And yet, I am realizing for myself that I am absorbing our changing world in a very different way. For me it has been one of great internal reflection. I have observed the amazing things that have been occurring and have been digesting them into my being simply because I often can’t believe that they have actually occurred. If I can swallow them into my body and consume the joy within perhaps I can better believe that they are happening as they have become a physical part of me somehow.

In light of all of this, I have decided to use only one word this week to describe the feelings or thoughts that have been occurring as I process all that has transpired. I am calling it “One Word Week” simply distilling what I need to by choosing only one word rather than a rant or exchange. In doing so I hope to quiet those around me to enter into the simplicity of joined thought while contemplating more quietly through a focused and directed emotion. I realize I always connect better with those around me and those I love when I share what is in the moment without anything extra; stripping away unnecessary noise so that the connection is better tasted due to its simplicity of flavor.

So as I move forward this week I will express in a very succinct way and look forward to the ways in which those around me respond to the dialing back and humbling of the emotions. In addition, I am also very aware that the way we respond to change will help us better to change the other necessary and long over due shifts that need to happen immediately in our country. If we celebrate to loudly or wildly, the noise drowns out  and detracts us from addressing the pressing needs of our brothers and sisters who are also fighting battles of equality and justice. We are all not free until we are all free. We are all not legal until we all are legal. We are all not equal until we all are equal. It is a quieting respect that we offer even in times of great celebration. Our graciousness in the way we celebrate will help to let others know that we will fight along side them as well.

My One Word Week began yesterday with the word love. Simple and profound. Yet universal and necessary and needed for all. Join me in this directed expression and see what happens to your feed or to your exchanges. See what happens when we create a bridge through simple words and thoughts so as to bring people together even if they do not think or feel the same. If we create a platform to welcome others to the table for discussion while seeing them through a simple idea, perhaps we can begin to bring in more love as the walls will have come down. I wonder if we can disarm the fear and anger by simplifying the exchange?

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