A Prayer of Release/A Prayer of Welcoming

Tags

acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, changes, Conscious Living, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, Energy, faith, fear, forgiveness, healing, health, heart, heart path, humanity, inspiration, letting go, light, listening, love, peace, Seeing, soul, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, Understanding, universal heart, Vulnerable

Where there was fear before

There is no more

Where the was pain before

There is no more

Where there was shame before

There is no more

Where there was guilt before

There is no more

Where there was heartbreak before

There is no more

Where there was anger before

They is no more

I release these energies that have held me hostage for so long. I release these energies that have crippled my dreams, broken my heart and have alas broken me down. I release you all and open my heart to the unknown.

Where there is no more

May there be love

Where there is no more

May there be peace

Where there is no more

May there be light

Where there is no more

May there be hope

Where there is no more

May there be healing

Where there is no more

Let there be magic

Fear Not The Sharing of Your Heart

Tags

acceptance, allowing, becoming, Believing, bliss, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, dreams, Ecstasy, Existence, faith, fear, forgiveness, growth, heart, heart path, hope, inspiration, journey, joy, love, Magic, sharing, soul, spirit, universal heart, well being, wellness

Fear not the sharing of your heart, it is what the heart is made to do.

The heart itself has its own protection due to its magnificent design. The pericardium surrounds the heart encasing it to let it do it’s work.

So fear not the need to hold back out of fear or rejection; your heart is safe.

Since it’s very first beat, it has been sustaining you and pumping energy, breath and life. It keeps you in the flow and pulse of being simply by being itself. It has never given up on you.

So fear not the hearts fortitude and it’s commitment for keeping you well.

Throughout all of your early relationships, your heart automatically knew how to make connection as you entrained and grew its own magnetic field.

So fear not the hearts ability to connect and draw those close with whom are willing to listen.

Despite the conditioning of your journey; cultural, systemic or human dogma, your heart has always instinctively known who you are, dreamed to be and known you could be. It beats as your own innate drum.

So fear not standing out from the crowd and making the noise of your creation; the unique vibration, your unique vibration of love.

Even if folks have come and gone and life has not blessed you with the love you dreamed, there has always been love and will always be love surrounding you. In fact, love is the pericardium of your life. Love us in fact a magnetic field surrounding and connecting and protecting your very physical and energetic self.

Fear not that you have hurt and felt the pain and sorrow in which often is sustained by deep heartfelt connection; the heart is never scarred, only the ego.

Know that the heart will always beat in your favor welcoming the best for and wanting to connect with others. Know that it is up for another journey with a spirit who is willing the adventure of joy, bliss and ecstasy.

Fear not the sharing of the heart, it is the gift of connection that we are given to speak our story and change our world.

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 1

Tags

Adventure, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, fear, heart, heart knowledge, heart path, journey, joy, life, listening to the heart, return, sharing, Writing

6/1/21

After a wild ride this past year it feels as if there may be room to breathe a little more easily and to put into motion all of the “heart” work that was done during the pandemic. Perhaps even a small expression of joy as the school year ends and there is space for a great exhale making room for the next big breath. 

I have decided to use this month as a writing challenge and return to a practice which scares me. Writing has never been easy for me and has created quite a large amount of trauma throughout my education in general. So to lean into this moment of joy with a challenging journey seems to be what my spirit is asking. I am turning to face the fear in order to break through for the sharing of some very exciting research. 

I would like to invite you on this thrifty day adventure of sharing whatever thoughts seem most relevant to be speaking to. I have no focus or theme other than sharing with you on a daily basis in order to connect, release and sharpen the practice of writing. I would love for you to join me in this sharing and to also to hear your perspective regardless of your lens. After all, listening to speak has been one of the key elements that have shifted ever more deeply for me over the past year and some change. 

And lastly, thank you in advance for taking the time and giving your energy and focus to the art of sharing. On some small level I would like to even challenge you to use these next thirty days as a check in for yourself as well. Set some time aside to create space within your day when you might find yourself listening with your eyes and being open to hear how your heart feels in these moments. 

May this be a transcendental adventure for us all! 

Sending light, love and levity!!!

Revealing the Light

Tags

changes, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, development, Existence, fear, friends, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, light, love, sharing, society, thoughts, truth, Vulnerable, vulnerablitiy, Writing

There is light within us all. Regardless of where we come from, what we believe, who we are or what we have done; light resides in each and every one of us and animates our souls. Sometimes this is hard to feel and to know as so many are struggling with so much and simply moving through the day is often a huge weight to bear. And yet, I assure you there is light within. After all you are the light of the universe and that light is in the very essence of your DNA.

So how does one journey to reveal the light within? How is it that we can find a way to peel away the institution of crippling fear? There is no simple answer nor direct path, but there is a place to start. That starting point is learning to claim your light by recognizing that vulnerability is your greatest asset as well as the seed of what makes you uniquely you and gives authenticity to your voice as a beautiful light filled human being with something to offer this world.

Yes, vulnerability is the place where you must live to stand in the face of your fear. Standing on the legs of a courageous heart takes work and it takes pride. Be proud of what you are even if it is not the same as the people around you or like any other person you know. Be proud to state your name, your love, your vision and your truth. Be mindful not to hide away what you deem to be unworthy or not good enough. Doing so will hold you back from what your soulful desires actually are.

As a child I lived in a place of vulnerability and truth but allowed the world around me swallow that innocence and love. Scolded and shamed into no longer trusting the instincts and visions, a young boy became a young man who hid away what others did not understand or even know possible. Hiding the abilities that have been so graciously given strangles the very nature of our true being. And if we are not living in our most honest and vulnerable selves, we are no longer living because we no longer live in the presence of unconditional love. We no longer reside in the place of self love that is necessary for every single relationship we encounter be it romantic and otherwise.

So now I stand in courageous vulnerability to face the fears that have overcome the child within and the wisdom of the heart. Fear is no longer welcome when light shines on its darkness. When light shines it creates shadow. On the other side of shadow is a place for fear for we need to know it is there at all times but our awareness of it is partly what powers and empowers us to stand and face it. Peeling back the layers of a closed heart will release the light that lives in the spirit of the heart. We can stand firmly in the face of fear when we realize there is no greater place to live our lives than to be standing in the face of courageous vulnerability.

And as I challenge you, I challenge myself. As I turn to face my own fears I encourage you to do the same. Yet, do it in the ways that make sense to you and in the ways that feel right for you. We all own our own fears and therefor need to face and embrace them in the ways that work for us. Welcome tiny steps to build the kind of momentum that will transform your being. After all, momentum favors the willing. Be willing and therefor you will be. Be and you shall become.

Reveal the light that you are.

The entire light.

I Finished Another One

Tags

change, courage, development, encouraging, faith, fear, gay, growth, hope, inspiration, love, Love Between Men, reading, spirit, Support, words that hurt, words that inspire, Writing, young relationships

I have just closed another book. Upon doing so, I have whispered into the air the words I have been whispering every time I have closed a book for the last 27 years. “I finished another one my dear, (……)”! I have uttered softly these words aloud or under my breath for some time now and have not shared this secret with more than a handful. The secret of the phrase, or the persons name in which I speak.

I have held both of them close for two reasons: 1. Because it has taken me this long to have faith in myself as an intellectual being and 2. Because the persons name was my very first love who, to this day, I am not sure is out. Out of the respect for him, I keep his name silent, but out of the need to share the triumph of courage, I share now.

Several things about this story are important. First off, words hold great weight. They can be used to inspire and educate, to uplift and encourage as well as to degrade and hurt. Even though many times people do not realize the words they speak cause severe damage, they do regardless if they are malicious or unaware. We should all be more mindful of our words and the ways in which we choose and use them.

Second, we must remember that there are so many things in our lives that we have believed to be true that were or are not and that we can over come. Society encourages individuals to believe things simply because one is different or unlike them. Regardless if there is even an ounce of truth to the assumption, because I am different, it must be true. Do not believe this. Listen to your heart to save the heart from ache.

So what does all of this have to do with closing a book and speaking those words? Well, for the past 27 years I have never believed or had the courage to believe that I could read or write well at all. I did not want to read or write out of the fear that someone would think I was stupid and uneducated. Feared being found out that who I was, was not in fact who I wanted to be.

That said, being gay and having your boyfriend tell you you were incapable of finishing a book or even a magazine for that matter even layers the whole issue. Yes, that is what he used to tell me all the time. So of course, when one is in high school, has a boyfriend in the same high school that no one knows anything about and that the fear of anyone finding out scares you, of course the reality of the situation can get a little skewed. Growing up in a world where who you were was a secret and the fear of anyone finding out keeps one from asking too many questions or sharing too many things one would like in situations that need comfort or understanding.

I began to believe this sentiment. I mean, he loved me right? We loved each other. He must be right? I mean what do I do? Not very good at school. Run in a completely different crowd. All the boxes of who I am externally do not match any sense of intelligence or writing ability. Right?

And so I have carried this for a very long time. It has weighed on me through college, my professional career as a dancer and choreographer, grad school and presently my academic life. Living in fear that one would be found out is not the kind of life one should carry around with them. It gets in the way of the good life and the life in which is actually the one you are supposed to be living.

So after all of these years, hundreds of books read, mountains of journals, papers, manuals and blogs; I realize perhaps all these years I have let someone hold me back from realizing all of who I could have been. I gave away my power to be loved. Love like that is not love. It is fear in the guise of love using words to hold close that which they do not understand. Words can trap a spirit from being what it is truly meant to be. So be careful with your words. They might scar someone deeply.

Now, however, I whisper those words and I smile. I giggle as I have come to realize the writer and intellect inside me. I use those words as inspiration. With every book I gain momentum. With every post I find more courage. Writing the EBAS manual was monumental and presently being in the throws of writing my book inspirational. Even if the only inspiration is for myself and the book never sells a copy, although I know it will because my friends love me, it will still be worth it.

And so as I sit here and close the pages of another book, I raise it to the sky and say, “I finished another one my dear, (…..)”!

Thoughts on today for MLK

Tags

equality, fear, forgiveness, hate, Jr., love, MArtin Luther King, MLK, spirit to spirit, tending the field of equality

This is a day about remembering not to forget that there is still much work to be done in the field of equality. Martin Luther King, Jr. planted many a wonderful seeds in this land and it is up to us to work that land, love that land and to care for that land as if seeing into the fall for a bountiful harvest. During his time was the spring of this movement and now we find ourselves in the hottest days of summer.

 

Although the air is warm while the sun shines bright, we must remember to care for our crop. It needs ever more watering right now as the drought of forgetting has fallen upon us. And in forgetting, what I really mean to say is the complacency of thinking we have come far enough. This is not enough. It is not enough until equality is for all.

 

There is still much work to be done.  With as much work as there is, there is just as much forgiveness and love to be shared. Let us water our spirit with a dream again. Let us give shade for blocking out the burning of fear and hate. Let us carefully tend with kindness while whispering once again about hope.

 

There could be plenty at harvest for us all. There could be so much abundance that we could not possibly imagine the fruits to come of our combined labor. We might not be able to imagine it all, fathom it all, or dream it all; but he did. And because of that, we must remember to take to the field.

 

I Am A Phoenix

Tags

allowing, ascending, becoming, before or after, compassion, courage, Dream, fear, flying, ignite, rebirth, releasing, vision

I am a phoenix. I am transformation. I rise from the ash not to be born again, but to realize my flesh was a facade of burning fear. It is the ash of that fear that falls away revealing a courageous and compassionate layer of new skin.

This is now my porous shield. A cellular barrier breathing in and out love allowing the membrane of my spirit to touch and be touched; a tuning fork for the frequency of the universe.

I rise for all I am to be. Ascending to this moment allowing for the immediacy of peace finally realizing there is no before or after. There is only this. This is only now.

And so I fly. And so I burn. And so I become.

I am a phoenix.

Joy as our Rudder

Tags

courage, emotional congruency, faith, fear, heart, hope, journey, joy, laughter, light, merriment, passion, path, rudder, Soul to Soul, spirit, spiritual

We should let joy be our rudder and courage our sails. If we are to cast off towards our dreams on a sea of constant change, we should remain faithful to our journey with the most joyful heart and courageous spirit. If we have these two characteristics as part of our arsenal, we are sure to journey with much laughter and good spirit finding ourselves collaborating with the elements regardless of their intensity.

 

We should let love be our light and laughter our energy. If we are to encounter our deepest fears along our journey, we should let love from our hearts light the dark caverns and laughter echo loudly against those walls. If we have these two sources of power deep within the well of our hearts, we are sure to journey with much compassion and understanding in ourselves and for others that there will only be congruent steps full of merriment for have taken this path. 

 

Pressing Back the Boundaries of Ourselves: Day 8

Tags

Believing, challenge, choice, courage, Expanding Spirit, faith, fear, heart path, joy, Risk, Soul to Soul, universal heart, well being

Realizing that courage is directly linked to fear is a huge part of shifting ones being into a beautiful transformation. When we find ourselves lacking the courage to do something, it is more likely than not related to the fact that we are very much afraid of whatever it is that lies outside of our comfort zone or our current abilities. When we fear what we don’t know because we don’t think we are capable of doing something, we are letting fear keep us from perhaps becoming and doing the very things we wish to be and experience.

The best way to make a shift in your life is to take a risk at expanding your knowledge and your comfort zone. This is one of the reasons education is a crucial part of our development and why learning how to fail is as crucial as learning how to succeed. In our culture we place such a significant value on success and winning that we are actually suppressing our greatest success, personal growth and spiritual expansion.

If we continue to allow our culture to be the guiding principles to which we live our lives, we will continue to drop back down to the lowest common denominator. Culturally speaking, we are fearful of rocking the boat, not being accepted, disappointing others by choosing to follow the whispers of our hearts. Although following ones heart path is not easy, it is filled with much greater joy and love than grazing on the couch with the herd.

We need to desperately be out experiencing things that move us, challenge our spirits and test our resolve. This doesn’t mean you have to do things that are beyond your moral or ethical paradigm, but it does mean that you need to look squarely in their face and make the decision about what you want or do not want in your life rather than live your father or mothers lives.

When we are out experiencing life and absorbing all it has to offer, it allows us to see the many beautiful facets of life itself and therefore ourselves. If we see what is possible, experience what can be, we might just realize we have what it takes to do the very things our hearts and souls have been aching to do. We just might realize we could learn the skills and tools necessary to walk the heart path that has been whispering to us from our DNA since our beginning. We just might realize we have the courage and the capacity to not fear joy.

Living in the Space Between Magic and What Could Be: Day 3

Tags

body knowledge, consciuos living, courage, courageous heart, Dance, education, equalizing our thinking, fear, growth, heart knowledge, living with compassion, quieting the heart, quieting the mind, right brain

Rational thinking is not always the right ingredient for making something new or expanding our understanding of the world.  It seems the over thinking mind clouds the space between magic and what could be.  This is not to say that we should not try and strive for greater intellect or reason, it is however a plea for finding balance between the left and right sides of the brain so that we might temper our ego in order to heart-speak our reality into beautiful new places.

 

It is a frustrating, and often times discouraging, finding yourself living in the world of “rational” thinkers. The land of the left brain, dominant, male driven conquer at all cost mind set has been a highly destructive place for those of us who listen to the creative mind and use our body knowledge to exist.  It has also been a place that has hindered our own deeper cultivation of what is possible for ourselves as well as the cultures and societies that we live in.

 

I have often wondered what I might have accomplished if I had not been living in a place of fear and inadequacy never fully understanding the different kinds of knowledge that exist or that I possessed? I wonder what children today are put through with all of the testing for intellect rather than seeing if young people can actually comprehend and make coherent connections with who they are, the world they live in and the potential that is deep within them?

 

As I look back and see myself, the choices I have made, and the many mistakes I have lived, I realize I could have taken a much different route and have been living a little more congruent with who I am, what I can do and how I have gone about doing it. You see when one is put against a wall in our particular culture one must learn how, or think they need to know how, to fight their way out. We all do this in very different ways. For me it has been a direct and at times acidic route that has not always sat well with my heart. I have regretted much of my voice in my past and can only work on changing that so that there is peace and light that springs forth from my lips rather than a tongue that sharply cuts the heart of the people around me.

 

Another thing that is crucial for myself is to take time between action and reaction so as to let love answer rather than the fear driven ego that wants to fight. As I stated earlier, there is so much lost in that moment, that space, that if we allow ourselves, if I allow myself, I will be able to open up myself to the flow that is possible reigniting the flames of creativity while letting negative things go unsaid. It is up to me to only correct what I am capable of rather than feeling the need to drive a change what is not possible.  

 

Getting lost in our fear and our insecurity always creates a block that inhibits our truest and most song filled voice. Wandering in the world that is incongruent with our hearts and our lives only serves to strangle our spirits rather than inspire our vision. It is time we live inside the space of magic and possibility with patience, trust and confidence. Existing here with the kind of courage it takes to walk the ways in which are right for you, in a time that is easy on your soul, and with love as the shield absorbing any and all doubt.