I have loved you longer than I have loved myself. In fact, there has been no one I have loved longer than I’ve loved you.
You were the first person I ever gave my heart to and the only person I left it with. Once I gave it I didn’t realize there was no getting it back.
Even long after your image was no longer with me I still had no idea how long it would be before I realized I left it with you that very last day.
Year after year and relationship after relationship thinking I had one to share with others. Not once did I realize how empty my chest was. How could it be that all of these “loves” were not meant to be?
It became all too clear to me how incapable I was of even having a heart full relationship with another man simply because I had no heart to give and no love to share. When the chest is empty there is little chance of the fulfilment of a barren space.
So what does one do when they realize the heart no longer resides with them? How does one find a way to love again? What is it we do in order to bring a heart back to live once again within a life wanting to love?
It’s clear really. If we are to reclaim our heart we first have to learn how to love ourselves in order to heal the vacant space within in order to bring light back into our heart space. We have to figure out a way to forgive ourselves for all the time lost and to finally let go of a love that would never be again.
Once this happens it’s as if but by bit our heart returns and rebuilds a place deep within our chest that brings light and love with it animating all that is good within. Once the momentum starts it’s as if time reversed all loss and hope befriends the long lost heart.
And so we heal and rebuild. We retrain the hardest working muscles of the body returning to a state of potential and great energy. We recognize what can be and realize we may very well have time to open up the heart again. Yet this time not to give it away, but rather to keep the heart for ourselves and simply love with all its light.