• About

Architecture of the Heart

~ Breathing through my feet while exhaling and diving into the vast ocean of space and time

Architecture of the Heart

Tag Archives: Greif

Honoring the Space of Loss

27 Friday Jul 2018

Posted by oberonsky in Soul to Soul, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

allowing, forgiveness, grace, gratitude, Greif, here after, hope, letting go, light, Loss, love, space

It is amazing how much space there is in the absence of love. Deep vacuous space in which a magnanimous soul inhabited. Recognizing this immense openness I become aware of the enormity of the spirit that existed here and am strangely filled with an incredible admiration and gratitude for being present in its grace.

I am also deeply aware of the energy and light that filled this space and all that was given to me. I have been graced with an incredible gift unlike I have ever known before.

As I absorb and simultaneously absolve my grief, I do not desire to diminish or close off the space that remains due to loss of physical presence. What I realize is I must embrace the absence of body and let it remain open and filled with spirit and the essence of the very love of that spirit. Thus, the space is honored by the immense peace that continues to resonate from it.

Love and the loss of physical presence does not mean that love is lost at all. All it does mean is that we need to celebrate and honor it in just a different way so as to let it continue to grow within us. You see the space of love is not meant to be filled or diminished. As a matter of fact, just the opposite is what the gift of loss is.

What I have come to understand is that what happens next is to find the courage and the strength to expand the heart even more to create even more opportunity to let love in again. Just as the universe continues to expand so too shall our hearts. So too shall we mirror and reflect this growth and so too shall we encourage and welcome even more love than we ever felt or knew possible.

I have been graced with such big love that I shall feel graced once again if I only risk to push open my heart and allow for the bigness of a heart as wide as the expansive universe itself.

If I have the courage to do this then then I have the conviction to welcome all the love there is. And if I welcome all the love there is, I have truly honored the love of the space that is left and that I embrace and live within at this moment. I am reminded once again and it is confirmed; there is no loss and there is no loss of love.

With gratitude for the forever graciousness of every being I have ever shared a moment,

Scott

The Space to Grieve

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by oberonsky in Musings, Soul to Soul, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

allowing, becoming, Conscious Living, faith, Greif, Heartache, Loss, Soul to Soul, time, time and space, universal heart

I sit here in the center of the Middle East waiting for my next jump to complete my journey to Perth, Australia. It has taken me two flights and 15 hours of flight time to get here. Fifteen hours to arrive in a place so as to have a moment to digest, absorb and express the emotional roller coaster the past several days have been. I have to wonder why it is it takes traveling half way around the world to find the space to share and release? It is certainly a sign that perhaps I need to slow down and open space in my life so as to be able to deal more readily with the life I am living rather than simply taking care of business. This for another sharing, for now, I need to share something else.

In my whirl wind to successfully finish the fall semester at VCU, remount Tensegerity for IABD, collaborate on the Winery Psalms Project and get ready for this trip, I was shocked to hear the news about the passing of a dear friend. To say I was not already emotionally exhausted trying to do my very best in my responsibilities to my work, students and looming deadlines, the news of Billy’s death stopped my breath. An ex, a friend, a creative spirit and a loving human being crossed the barrier of light a little too soon. Selfishly speaking, a little too soon for me.

One of the things that was difficult in seeing his passing through Facebook was that it was through Facebook that I actually found out. A friend had been suffering and I had not known about it. Shame on me for not being present enough to pay attention to the difficulties he was going through the week prior. This life I am living seems to hold more importance than the love that should be being shared between people and time spent on the relationships with those people.

None the less, my heart tightened and my breath was stunned.

I ended up finding out the reason for his passing and my heart goes out to his family and all of those that love him. Know I am sending love and healing light for your hearts as to shine on you to assist in the navigating the grief that is to come. Shine the light and you will see your way through it.

Ironically, I had no time to process this new found information as I had to get lead a conference call for the study abroad program in Paris happening in the spring. Dogs had to be picked up and I had to keep moving. But I couldn’t. I closed the door to my office and could not find the strength to lock the door and lift my head from the eight of the tears. And yet, I had to pull it together. Things had to get done.

I picked my dogs up from the vet making sure they had all their medications and needs met before all this travel. They could not stay off of me as all they wanted to do was lick the tears from my face and let me know that they loved me and were there for me. Ironically, we spent more time together due to 2 separate car accidents that added an hour to my commute. Thank goodness for the kindness and light of a dear colleague who cradled my needs and stepped up to gather the students and pull off the scheduled meeting for the students. Love and light reveal themselves. They always do.

I finally made it to that meeting. Numb and hallow. Heavy with the weight of loss and the suffocation of grief. And yet, still not able to begin due to feeling as if I must keep moving. Why is it we are not able to be compassionate with ourselves so as to allow ourselves to grieve and feel our hearts break? Why do we as a culture insist that we be strong? We carry to much in our silence and our veneer of strength.

I was paper thin as I watched my students rehearsals in preparation for their finals. The only thing holding me together was the sheer pride of their work and knowing how proud I was of them for being the beautiful artists they are expressing and blossoming into glorious human beings. There is much to be said for honoring the choice to become who you are and to allow yourself the struggle so as to free your heart.

And still, I had not let go. Meetings with all my students holding their fragility of being in the words that should guide and inspire them. Knowing this is more important than the tears hiding behind the lids of my eyes. Making a choice to live in love perhaps is the only thing that should hold one up from processing. Perhaps limiting the hurt that others have to feel is far easier in the long run.

So here I sit. I am in a small quiet space a world away with the time to finally sit and let me heart open. Tears streaming down my face as I finally express my sadness, hurt and regret. My heart aches at the loss of this beautiful young man. His life was full of heart ache and sadness in which he had a difficult time managing and dealing with. My heart breaks knowing his heart ached so much. Would it not be better for those we love to lend our hearts to them more helping them to find a path or a way to their happiness. Not the happiness we see for them, but the happiness that comes from the joy of their choosing.

Not knowing that you are here walking this time and space is hard for me. Yet, I know the bridge you have crossed now finds you in the brightest of light and most loving and freeing sense of joy. My tears are out of missing you and your beautiful spirit and energy knowing that we will not have the opportunity to laugh together once more.

So as I travel around the world this time, I will travel with the memory of you and of our laughter. I will keep you in my heart with the knowledge and warmth of all the joy we shared and all the stories that were made. Now it is the time to tell those stories.

And for all of us, now is the time to make stories. Live them. Embrace all of it. Every single joy, sorrow, difficulty and ecstasy. Do it. Feel it. Live it. Express it. Let nothing hold you back from standing in the center of your bliss. Let no moment go un-lived. Let no expression of love go un-said. Don’t wait. It is far easier to carry the knowledge of having lived than to carry the burden or regret and grief. Grieve we must, but it is far easier through the transparency of love.

Recent Posts

  • A Prayer of Release/A Prayer of Welcoming
  • Open Roads Meeting The Feet
  • When All is Lost, Sit.
  • Remembering to Breathe
  • I Want You To Know

Archives

  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • October 2019
  • April 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • September 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • February 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012

Categories

  • Elemental Body Alignment System (EBAS)
  • Lifting Lines/Morphing Visions
  • Musings
  • OLE
  • Shaping Space
  • Soul to Soul
  • Thirty Days of Thoughts
  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Architecture of the Heart
    • Join 144 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Architecture of the Heart
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar