Sitting to Listen

Tags

Believing, compassion, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, heart knowledge, listening, listening to the body, listening to the heart, love, loving, Soul to Soul, spirit, well being, wellness

I have recently become aware of what my superpower is. In a Marvel Universe full of all the incredible beings saving everything in existence, I realize that in my marvelous reality I have none of the “powers” one would hope yet I possess the softest power of them all. After all of this time I am able to absorb, accept and be aware that my superpower is simply the ability to listen. 

I have been recognizing and becoming more aware of this quiet skill for some time now. It has taken a concerted effort to peel away the desire of our culture and society as a way of finally hearing the images, recognizing the omens and allowing for space to see my own truth. It has become clear to me that the notion of being a dancer, educator, choreographer, healer, singer and creative content provider are just simple reflections of what is actually within. 

Yes, I listen to what a dance needs when I am facilitating its creation so as to let it become what it needs and express what it needs to be. Yes, I hear with my eyes while looking at a sea of bodies in the studio while teaching so as to support the development and nurturing of bodies to become the vessel of the voices within. 

While healing, my hands become my ears as the body underneath them whispers what it needs and what is necessary to set free the energy to course correct and find harmony. The body’s ability to know what it needs and to be able to communicate this is crucial to its greatest health and well-being. 

I have been learning to sit in the company of others while emptying my mind of clutter and my heart of desire so that I might offer that space as a way of understanding and becoming keenly aware of what one’s heart needs. Similarly, I keep my heart open to hear who my dogs are and to allow them to share with me in their own ways what makes them safe, loved and appreciated. 

In my walking I have learned to hear what the earth has to say by letting her speak through my feet. With the mysteries of time she holds deeply within, each footfall unfolds it’s secrets and it’s heartache. Simultaneously, nature that surrounds me on these adventures also beckons to be heard so as to share its knowledge and magic as well. 

I have worked towards sitting in silence to open up my own heart so I can more deeply understand the darkness within and learn to untangle, unravel and “rewrite” a life lost in the quest to become an adult. Ironically I knew as a young boy I wanted to be an “idea guy”, someone who shared ideas and created things for companies. I didn’t have the words then or the awareness to realize at the time that I enjoyed listening and creating and doing so gave me so much joy. I instinctively knew my superpower but had no idea what that meant inside a world of noise full of the nonsense that strangles our hearts. 

So I have returned to being that child and to understand that what I knew deep within came from just being who I was and “naively” being true to what spoke to my heart and evoked joy. I strive to sit and listen in silence now so as to catch a whisper of the Divine as a way of recognizing the divine within. As I empty, I begin to glimpse the relationship of I AM. 

So what is your superpower? What is it that allows you to be the greatest you and an incredible contributor to a better life, a radiant love and a healer of this earth? Go ahead, I’m listening. 

The Magnitude of Being

Tags

Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, heart, heart knowledge, heart path, heartstrong, love, pathways, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart

I am overwhelmed by this acceptance of being. Truly humbled by the magnitude of being in all honesty. The deeper I go into this journey of the heart I am reminded of the incredible richness of simply being on this journey of living. There are times when I can’t believe I have been given these gifts. 

Although my entire life has been a unique journey of discovering who I am at my deepest levels, there has always been a sense of childlike knowing that supported all of my actions and choices. To be honest, I have always felt I was looked after and cared for by outside forces that I never quite knew how to speak of. And yet now, at another transformative moment in my life, I feel very much cradled by an energy so magnificent that it often brings me to tears. 

Yes, I get so moved by the energy and love that I simply can’t believe that I am on this adventure of becoming again and again. Just when I think I don’t know the way or that answers are eluding me, I get wrapped in love and reminded that I am a child of an ever loving universe and it’s desire for my well-being. 

The pandemic was a catalyst for great change and heart work. I chose to go deep within rather than to reinvent myself in the wake of chaos. It was a conscious choice to heal and to let go of whatever I no longer needed or served me. It was a choice to not pretend that all was right in the world but rather embrace the moment as a time to return to many of the things I lost along the way of chasing; racing for a dream of the ego rather than the resonating truth of my being. 

Over the last three years I have found a new relationship with myself that is allowing the space for perhaps the greatest shift I will make for myself. How I have perceived myself and my work is now being re-examined and re-evaluated. This return to being is being felt on many levels and within all of my work both personally and professionally. 

Reuniting with dreams lost, a heart broken and a flame dwindling; now is the time to reignite the light within and retell the story. Rebuild the dream and rekindle the light that led me so far and to so many wonderful places. 

It’s funny because at so many times and experiences I found out how naïve I was and yet realize now that this perception was wrong all along. I knew where my heart was, what my hands could do and what instinctively drove my creativity. And although I didn’t know the world, the universe knew me. Letting the world change me and quiet the heart and dampen the dream was the shame and guilt from simply living and creating from the heart. 

And so now that there is a shift back to the heart and the work of love, I am witness to the shedding of so much pain, hurt and fear. I am witness to the letting go and lightening of these burdens that have been strangling the heart and the voice. It’s time to sing once again the sweet victories of being and to celebrate once again the magnitude of being. It’s time to be the light and energy that is truly what lives within. It’s a time of pivot and a time to be free. 

Thirty Days of Thoughts: Day 1

Tags

Adventure, courage, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, fear, heart, heart knowledge, heart path, journey, joy, life, listening to the heart, return, sharing, Writing

6/1/21

After a wild ride this past year it feels as if there may be room to breathe a little more easily and to put into motion all of the “heart” work that was done during the pandemic. Perhaps even a small expression of joy as the school year ends and there is space for a great exhale making room for the next big breath. 

I have decided to use this month as a writing challenge and return to a practice which scares me. Writing has never been easy for me and has created quite a large amount of trauma throughout my education in general. So to lean into this moment of joy with a challenging journey seems to be what my spirit is asking. I am turning to face the fear in order to break through for the sharing of some very exciting research. 

I would like to invite you on this thrifty day adventure of sharing whatever thoughts seem most relevant to be speaking to. I have no focus or theme other than sharing with you on a daily basis in order to connect, release and sharpen the practice of writing. I would love for you to join me in this sharing and to also to hear your perspective regardless of your lens. After all, listening to speak has been one of the key elements that have shifted ever more deeply for me over the past year and some change. 

And lastly, thank you in advance for taking the time and giving your energy and focus to the art of sharing. On some small level I would like to even challenge you to use these next thirty days as a check in for yourself as well. Set some time aside to create space within your day when you might find yourself listening with your eyes and being open to hear how your heart feels in these moments. 

May this be a transcendental adventure for us all! 

Sending light, love and levity!!!

Questioning an Ephemeral Life

Tags

artistic, Ballet, choreography, contemporary ballet, creative process, Dance, ephemeral, heart knowledge, kinetic imagery, modern dance, sharing work, Soul to Soul, spirit, Teaching, teaching dance

As an artist and a teacher of ephemeral kinetics, I often wonder what it is my work amounts to. There is no tangible structure, thing or product to behold. All that is left of my work is what remains in the hearts of those that experience it.  Yes, there are videos of work or photos of moments in work, but really, the work as it is meant to be experienced, does not exist in any kind of totality.

 

Recently I created a very large work and left that work with the company. When I say left the work, I really mean leave behind the spirit of the work inside the movements of the hearts and minds of the dancers. They are the keepers of this energy and of this spirit. They are the guardians of the kinetic imagery and are truly the only ones that can translate the visions of my heart mind.

 

I left this work behind in the hands of many beautiful dancers and had to give away any control or tangible ownership. I sat quietly the evening of its premier knowing, that several states away, my vision was being revealed, moment-by-moment, in a space so very, far from where I sat.

 

This got me to thinking more deeply about what it is I do. How is it I have managed to make a life out of sharing the unknown or unseen? How is it that I have managed to build a body of work that really only exists in the moment? Even in teaching, once the class has ended, one can only know with ones heart what the body is feeling. One cannot really point to a book and say, I know this. Tests do not reflect the body’s knowledge when the heart is the only thing that truly understands this kinetic knowledge.

 

Does the work I do have value? Does what I share within the context of a concert or classroom matter in the scope of things? I know my heart has been moved and my life changed by my own process, and for that there is much value as my life is larger than I ever dreamed possible. Yet, what does it mean and how does one share that with people in the world who are so desperately needed to help support this kind of illusive artistic expression?

 

Our culture puts a great deal of value on product. We are constantly thinking about producing and providing outcomes. Even if those outcomes are really, just place cards to help people assign value to something unseen or unknown. Many times, I wonder why it is we are forced to justify ourselves through sales and seats when we should be spending more time crafting and exploring the value of our hearts.

 

Yet, with all of these unanswered questions, I retreat to the land of kinetic images. I give my time and my energy to creating worlds within worlds that only those that have the courage to walk through, will understand. I choose to spend my time working in the ephemeral world because what has brought goodness and light into my own life, may in fact, be felt by someone else. Moreover, the simple heart exchange, the moment when one basks in the energy and light of the universe through the transference of kinetic heart energy, is the most immeasurable yet profound moment of all.  This is the moment I choose.

 

More Learning from the Boys

Tags

behavior modification, beleif, courage, Dance, dogs, faith, heart knowledge, kindess, love, my boys, patience, positive reinforcement, time, training, wisdom

I am learning a lot about patience through my recent work with Baxter. I have wanted to modify his behavior to keep him calm when the next-door neighbors non-spayed dog is out in the yard at the same time. Whenever she comes out, he looses it and all the Zen that you thought was a part of him turns to crazy. An odd and unnerving sight.

 

Recently I have been spending much more time with him trying to quietly calm him and get his attention to focus on me rather than solely focus on a female hormonal conquest. It has taken some time, but he calms very quickly through positive reinforcement and encouragement in his behavior. Just today, I was able to call him from the house, have him focus and even sit down to calmly watch his friend just across the fence.

 

I am so proud of him and his ability to channel his energy and his focus for this monumental shift. Because of these modifications in his energy and his focus, Bradford calms easily following the leader of the pack energy. Although I am the alpha, Baxter is above Bradford and having that supportive energy really does transfer throughout the pack. It is so nice to see the rewards of patience, kindness and positive energy feedback.

 

This reminds me of how important it is to implement this in all kinds of situations in our lives. We tend to live in a dominant driven winner take all culture that does not allow time and positive energy to actually do the work for us. After all modifications in behavior or any training only happens with time, encouragement and belief that the individual can make the changes necessary.

 

Once again, my dogs teach me the importance of patience and love not only for myself, but also for others around me. I need to breathe this in as I enter a classroom, rehearsal, meetings and ever so importantly, my back yard.

 

Living in the Space Between Magic and What Could Be: Day 3

Tags

body knowledge, consciuos living, courage, courageous heart, Dance, education, equalizing our thinking, fear, growth, heart knowledge, living with compassion, quieting the heart, quieting the mind, right brain

Rational thinking is not always the right ingredient for making something new or expanding our understanding of the world.  It seems the over thinking mind clouds the space between magic and what could be.  This is not to say that we should not try and strive for greater intellect or reason, it is however a plea for finding balance between the left and right sides of the brain so that we might temper our ego in order to heart-speak our reality into beautiful new places.

 

It is a frustrating, and often times discouraging, finding yourself living in the world of “rational” thinkers. The land of the left brain, dominant, male driven conquer at all cost mind set has been a highly destructive place for those of us who listen to the creative mind and use our body knowledge to exist.  It has also been a place that has hindered our own deeper cultivation of what is possible for ourselves as well as the cultures and societies that we live in.

 

I have often wondered what I might have accomplished if I had not been living in a place of fear and inadequacy never fully understanding the different kinds of knowledge that exist or that I possessed? I wonder what children today are put through with all of the testing for intellect rather than seeing if young people can actually comprehend and make coherent connections with who they are, the world they live in and the potential that is deep within them?

 

As I look back and see myself, the choices I have made, and the many mistakes I have lived, I realize I could have taken a much different route and have been living a little more congruent with who I am, what I can do and how I have gone about doing it. You see when one is put against a wall in our particular culture one must learn how, or think they need to know how, to fight their way out. We all do this in very different ways. For me it has been a direct and at times acidic route that has not always sat well with my heart. I have regretted much of my voice in my past and can only work on changing that so that there is peace and light that springs forth from my lips rather than a tongue that sharply cuts the heart of the people around me.

 

Another thing that is crucial for myself is to take time between action and reaction so as to let love answer rather than the fear driven ego that wants to fight. As I stated earlier, there is so much lost in that moment, that space, that if we allow ourselves, if I allow myself, I will be able to open up myself to the flow that is possible reigniting the flames of creativity while letting negative things go unsaid. It is up to me to only correct what I am capable of rather than feeling the need to drive a change what is not possible.  

 

Getting lost in our fear and our insecurity always creates a block that inhibits our truest and most song filled voice. Wandering in the world that is incongruent with our hearts and our lives only serves to strangle our spirits rather than inspire our vision. It is time we live inside the space of magic and possibility with patience, trust and confidence. Existing here with the kind of courage it takes to walk the ways in which are right for you, in a time that is easy on your soul, and with love as the shield absorbing any and all doubt.