To The Side I Dream. In The Center I Become

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becoming, gratitude, growth, inspiration, lessons learned, life, light, love, observations, spirit, spirituality, truth

I am not sure that I have ever felt a sense of belonging at any time in my life. As the baby in a family of five there never seemed to be a space as the little one that made things uneven or imbalanced. That and knowing from a very young age that who I was didn’t seem to line up with the family’s religious or cultural views. And yet, off to the side I was, dreaming and building worlds in the heart of my imagination. Sitting within that space I realize even at such a young age I found my center and I started to become the very heart of who I am today.

As a child in school growing up I also felt quite different and not quite like others. To say I felt as if I was the one of those beings unlike the others would be an understatement. I think I realized very early on the importance that modeling kindness and love for everyone I encountered seemed to create relationships that mattered and therefor love allowed more space for imagining connection even if I didn’t feel I belonged. And so through kindness I found my center and started to become the very compassionate being I am today.

As a teen I played all kinds of sports and was involved in all kinds of activities. I was privileged to be able to have these experiences and yet they scared me to death. I hated being out in the outfield because there was no other place to put me. Standing out hoping a ball wouldn’t come my way. Batting time and again and hoping to get walked simply to avoid the humiliation of striking out. And yet, when it came to being seen always being recognized as the sportsperson of the season because of what I was capable of doing for others around me. Wishing to be a ghost but seen as a strength for others. And so through support I found my center and started to become the empath I am today.

And who couldn’t forget the football team? I mean really? The size of me doesn’t really work with the power and the force that my friends were capable of harnessing. And even in this instance, despite the mismatch and lack of talent, I loved it. Not only that, but I loved the friends that I spent my time with. I always felt cared for and protected despite not feeling like one of the guys. But for some reason, after games, we sang. Yes, we celebrated and we enjoyed life come the rain or the shine. And even if I was on the “field”, mostly sidelines, I found my center made of joy; joy that came from liking doing something with people I admired and respected which started the notion that I could lead others in song even if it wasn’t on the field.

And then I found myself in theater. I took a risk to embrace being different and choosing so I found a small part of my voice. I stumbled upon my actual voice. I opened the door to a world of lovely people who were kind and who I realized began to see me perhaps as me even if the revelation of my full being remained hidden from public view. And yes, I seemed to thrive in this industry but always felt an outsider as I had no formal training or experience. Would they found out I have no idea what I am doing? That on top of the fact that I am not at all what I seem? Yet even so, I found my center “hearing” myself for the first time and thinking I might have a chance to become the listener of something if I worked at it.

Following my voice and the theater I came to realize I enjoyed it and found great pleasure but like all other things in my life, I just didn’t seem to fit that world. Once again unlike the outspoken others I was finding out that where I really found great joy, as the introvert that I am was in the animation and training of my physical voice, the body. I fell in love with dance as it was the thing I could do hiding behind my dyslexia and crippling fear of being found out that I did not see the world and words as others. So being on the outside now became the inside as I listened and learned how my body worked and how it would become the tool of my life. I found my center at the center of a moving body and breathing soul.

And here I am today, after all these years in the field having had a career as a dancer, choreographer and educator, still with the same feeling of being in dance but not of dance. I have made an incredible life in this art form. I am so grateful that it has given me so many beautiful experiences, friends, travel and the manifestation of breathtaking work. So much gratitude for it all. Yet, as most people know, I am not in the “game” of dance just as I have never been in the game of anything I have done. I did it and do it out of the joy and love I get from doing it and doing it as if my life needs it as I need breath. Oddly enough I have also realized how much I don’t need it as I have also found a way to breathe with the soul that has been with me all along in the times I have been to the side living in my dreams.

I guess after all of this living in the shadow of fear, isolation and not belonging; I realize I belong to myself and to the dreams I have been able to manifest simply by giving into the center of myself in everything I did. I have been living in the center of becoming and in doing so, I have always belonged. I recognize that in accepting I belong, I have always been able to see the unseen, feel the unfelt and dream the impossible. And in the end, I accept all that I am and honor that at the center of it all, we all belong if we accept the center of ourselves.

 

Honoring the Space of Loss

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allowing, forgiveness, grace, gratitude, Greif, here after, hope, letting go, light, Loss, love, space

It is amazing how much space there is in the absence of love. Deep vacuous space in which a magnanimous soul inhabited. Recognizing this immense openness I become aware of the enormity of the spirit that existed here and am strangely filled with an incredible admiration and gratitude for being present in its grace.

I am also deeply aware of the energy and light that filled this space and all that was given to me. I have been graced with an incredible gift unlike I have ever known before.

As I absorb and simultaneously absolve my grief, I do not desire to diminish or close off the space that remains due to loss of physical presence. What I realize is I must embrace the absence of body and let it remain open and filled with spirit and the essence of the very love of that spirit. Thus, the space is honored by the immense peace that continues to resonate from it.

Love and the loss of physical presence does not mean that love is lost at all. All it does mean is that we need to celebrate and honor it in just a different way so as to let it continue to grow within us. You see the space of love is not meant to be filled or diminished. As a matter of fact, just the opposite is what the gift of loss is.

What I have come to understand is that what happens next is to find the courage and the strength to expand the heart even more to create even more opportunity to let love in again. Just as the universe continues to expand so too shall our hearts. So too shall we mirror and reflect this growth and so too shall we encourage and welcome even more love than we ever felt or knew possible.

I have been graced with such big love that I shall feel graced once again if I only risk to push open my heart and allow for the bigness of a heart as wide as the expansive universe itself.

If I have the courage to do this then then I have the conviction to welcome all the love there is. And if I welcome all the love there is, I have truly honored the love of the space that is left and that I embrace and live within at this moment. I am reminded once again and it is confirmed; there is no loss and there is no loss of love.

With gratitude for the forever graciousness of every being I have ever shared a moment,

Scott

Revealing the Light

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changes, courageous heart, Courageous Vulnerability, development, Existence, fear, friends, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, light, love, sharing, society, thoughts, truth, Vulnerable, vulnerablitiy, Writing

There is light within us all. Regardless of where we come from, what we believe, who we are or what we have done; light resides in each and every one of us and animates our souls. Sometimes this is hard to feel and to know as so many are struggling with so much and simply moving through the day is often a huge weight to bear. And yet, I assure you there is light within. After all you are the light of the universe and that light is in the very essence of your DNA.

So how does one journey to reveal the light within? How is it that we can find a way to peel away the institution of crippling fear? There is no simple answer nor direct path, but there is a place to start. That starting point is learning to claim your light by recognizing that vulnerability is your greatest asset as well as the seed of what makes you uniquely you and gives authenticity to your voice as a beautiful light filled human being with something to offer this world.

Yes, vulnerability is the place where you must live to stand in the face of your fear. Standing on the legs of a courageous heart takes work and it takes pride. Be proud of what you are even if it is not the same as the people around you or like any other person you know. Be proud to state your name, your love, your vision and your truth. Be mindful not to hide away what you deem to be unworthy or not good enough. Doing so will hold you back from what your soulful desires actually are.

As a child I lived in a place of vulnerability and truth but allowed the world around me swallow that innocence and love. Scolded and shamed into no longer trusting the instincts and visions, a young boy became a young man who hid away what others did not understand or even know possible. Hiding the abilities that have been so graciously given strangles the very nature of our true being. And if we are not living in our most honest and vulnerable selves, we are no longer living because we no longer live in the presence of unconditional love. We no longer reside in the place of self love that is necessary for every single relationship we encounter be it romantic and otherwise.

So now I stand in courageous vulnerability to face the fears that have overcome the child within and the wisdom of the heart. Fear is no longer welcome when light shines on its darkness. When light shines it creates shadow. On the other side of shadow is a place for fear for we need to know it is there at all times but our awareness of it is partly what powers and empowers us to stand and face it. Peeling back the layers of a closed heart will release the light that lives in the spirit of the heart. We can stand firmly in the face of fear when we realize there is no greater place to live our lives than to be standing in the face of courageous vulnerability.

And as I challenge you, I challenge myself. As I turn to face my own fears I encourage you to do the same. Yet, do it in the ways that make sense to you and in the ways that feel right for you. We all own our own fears and therefor need to face and embrace them in the ways that work for us. Welcome tiny steps to build the kind of momentum that will transform your being. After all, momentum favors the willing. Be willing and therefor you will be. Be and you shall become.

Reveal the light that you are.

The entire light.

Lifting Lines Morphing Visions- P3:2

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individual, inspiration, life, light, love, observations, spirit, spirituality, wellness

The sun, at once ablaze

His expression

His mindset

His expression, silver sheen

His mindset, focused

His expression, radiant

A listening

A long pause

Are you forgetting

You’re forgetting

Denying time and place

Listen and understand the open voices

The light at once lets in all the heart needs to hear and all one needs to know

 

My Beautiful Friend/A Majestic Light

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best friends, faith, forever friends, friends, friendship, humanity, life, light, listening to the heart, love, loving, truth

My heart is with you as you move through this day to reach outside of yourself in order to follow your heart. You have journeyed deeply into places not of your choosing but simply out of necessity and out of the desire to love and to heal so many. You are in a space of transformation and because of that evolution, a place of great deepening and healing.

You are about to move beyond the person you have known yourself to be and to blossom into yet another bright element of yourself. I have been honored to witness you and your continued magic as you tirelessly give, love and breathe your majestic light. Although I may not have been by your side physically, I have been in your heart with my heart loving you quietly and unconditionally by simply wishing your success with whispers of the heart.

I am with you today as I am with you always; watching you succeed for yourself and for your well being. I am proud to be and have been your friend. I am honored to have been on this journey of ebb and flow. You are my beautiful friend and a majestic light for me. In the dark I can see you and I know all will be right. And for that, I am most humbly grateful.

You have changed the world because I have witnessed how you have changed me. You have changed those who have witnessed your light. Go and shine your light. You will always succeed. Always. No fear when you are the light.

Borderland

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body, body knowledge, Chi, Energy, faith, healing, humanity, light, space, truth, well being, wellness

I live in the Borderland. It is a space between Here and Now, Before and After and the Known and Unknown. It is a vast space of reality in which many are called and seldom journey; A space of infinite physical wisdom and healing understood by all beings of this world. It is a silent, unspoken culture in which miracles live and breathe. Because of this great energy and light physical and emotional healing coexist. This is an immense and immeasurable vibration that surround all creatures enveloping them in the waters of creativity and life.

When in the Borderland one has great faith in the miracles of the healing body. You are encouraged to allow the body to do what it was designed to do; to heal itself and to know the journey of wellness through being one with the body’s brain and the Borderland itself. Listen to the body and you will transport yourself to this space of wellness. Listen to your body and you will be graced with an abundance of healing. The body craves wellness which is its optimal place of being. It longs to return to the Borderland to be whole.

have faith in the miracles of the body and you will know the power of relentless possibility. You will find yourself within an intelligent body that understands what it needs and how to achieve the state of wellness. When you listen, you will know yourself. And when you allow yourself this immense vulnerability, you will have allowed yourself the journey to the Borderland.

The Power of Quiet Giving

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allowing, becoming, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, Giving, heart, joy, light, love, Philanthropy, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal heart

There is an immense power generated when we give to others from the depths of our hearts. This immensity is purely compounded and utterly expanded because of the silence attached to the gift. When we give without recognition we expose the heart so as to express the vulnerable exchange of love. This exchange, done without a desire to be known, is what has been known as unconditional.

Yet, our current culture seems to need to be recognized for all sorts of gifts. The ego needs to be larger than the actual gift or benefit of the gift. A individuals or groups misuse this support to call attention to themselves rather than to humbly and whole heartedly lift up the person or group that needs it most. Ironic that the need is outweighed by selfishness. Is it really a gift or is it just another business exchange? And if so, should it not be classified as such?

Are we truly a society of philanthropic people when we have to advertise our philanthropy? Might we just give because we believe and because we love? Might we give regardless of outcomes and data? When does the gift regain itself as a selfless act and be a gift of the heart again? When will we experience gifts for one another that are shared with love and light?

Is it possible to move forward and unwind the complexities that we have woven; the knots we have tangled and strangled ourselves with? Can we loosen the hold of our own hearts simply to help those that need us the most?

I have recently made a choice to do more giving and giving with love regardless of the act oe amount. I want to live in a land of give. I want to be a part of the immense power of quietly sharing the commodity of love.

Lifting Lines/Morphing Visions: P2-9

Tags

awareness of light, becoming, Conscious Living, light, long days, Soul to Soul, spirit, stars, well being

The Turning of Days

A bright morning

Early

Skies of sunshine

The world being fine

The clouds and sun absolute

A bright afternoon

Open

Skies of blue

The world being fine

The air and light absolute

A bright evening

Fulfilled

Skies of twinkling light

The world being fine

The stars and moon absolute

Declaring This Moment

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acceptance, allowing, becoming, enough, grace, honoring, humiility, letting, letting go, light, momentum, my best, this moment

There are those moments when profound realizations come over us, and seemingly all at once, things just seem to make sense and the decisions we must make become all too clear.

And so it is.

In this light I allow the wisdom of the universe to pave the path. I will walk it with faith and humility.

In this light I will accept what is to move in my direction and let it wash through me as I absorb all I need from it and then let it go.

In this light I honor all that I am at this moment and do the absolute best I can in this moment and acknowledge that this is enough.

In this light I embrace the work of this journey and enjoy the satisfying sensation of determination that comes with the doing of it what I love.

In this light I acknowledge that I must walk this road regardless of what my fear says since fear is never the compass at which we should find the truth of our heart.

This is the moment at which I understand the reason and compelling need for change.

And so it shall be.

The Magic of Merging with the White Horse

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acceptance, allowing, artist, becoming, beleif, Believing, choreographer, Conscious Living, Courageous Vulnerability, craetivity, development, discovery, Dream, journey, light, merging, soul, spirit, time, travel, white horse, writer

I have welcomed the merging with the white horse. This is a journey of deep discovery and boundless creativity. I give way to the becoming of one leaving behind all that is unnecessary while embracing all possibilities. By weaving the tapestry of our spirits we do not lose ourselves but transform our being through the enhanced senses of one another’s hearts and dreams.

We ride to discover the endless blanket of ever expand light that reaches across unfathomable planes. The travel of eternity moves both forward and backwards in time. There is no fear direction as love moves in all dimensions.

We soar the oceans depths of spirit; immersing ourselves in the deepest states of creativity by releasing to the vacuum of the internal. We breathe water like air while swimming with the expansive wings of Pegasus. There is no fear of what is right when love knows no wrong.

This journey has no steps and yet we will travel distances only measured by the soul. There will be no quantifiable or empirical. There needs no measure when what is experienced is immeasurable. All that will be will be understood by the absorbing of all that there is.