I made it to Paris with only one hitch. My bag somehow took a flight to Charlotte instead of Philly with me. As I was the last one standing at CDG, I soon realized I had an issue. All my clothes and toiletries were still in the states as I stood at carousel 3 waiting for my bag. Calmly. I waited.
I then went to the baggage claim area attendant to make a report and file the missing luggage. This was when I was told that someone in Richmond put my bag on a plane to where I was not. Isn’t that against TSA regulations? I digress.
Anyway, on a positive note, I only had my bags on my shoulders to carry on the RER and Metro to find my apartment. So I started my journey a little lighter than expected. The good thing was that if all went well, someone would hand deliver my outfits, unmentionables and toiletries directly to my door. Yet, I admit I was nervous that there was no real way to contact me and since I was staying in an apartment rather than a hotel, it would be a little more difficult to actually get the bad delivered.
At present I sit waiting in my apartment. I do know the bag made it to Paris and is supposedly on its way to being delivered. I have stayed at the apartment save the time I went out shopping for coffee, breakfast goodies and a few other nash items. Still no word or call. They do have the land line, but I know they didn’t call while I was gone as there were no messages left and no record of incoming calls.
The rest of the day has been full of classical music wafting throughout the apartment with much writing and reading on my part. I have been forced to take a day of quiet contemplation and rest. Much needed rest and much desired quiet time as well. I often forget how much I like quiet and alone time. As I mentioned before in my writing, I do like embracing my introvert behaviors and often do not honor them enough. Clearly someone at RIC decided I needed to get reacquainted with that part of myself.
None the less, I am here and in perfect bliss. Staying in an apartment in the 3rd Arr. in Paris while I have time to think and to expand my current understanding of time, I am in a Scott heaven. It is so nice to be back here and in a place that is congruent with my pace of life and with the workings and wirings of my being.
I am often in a position where I question myself within the confines of my culture and feel as if the way in which my brain works, I process, and desire to walk the path of my life is somehow not as good as others. Yes, I often feel as if the way in which I am put together is oddly enough not acknowledged or honored.
Living a non-western life within a western culture is a little difficult at times. Being an introvert in an extrovert world is also challenging as introverts are seldom recognized for their thought process or quiet and contemplative ways. As if it wasn’t enough being a second class citizen who is a dancer and gay at that. Adding up all the marks against me I often wonder why I haven’t given up all together?
Yet, I know the answer to that. I do. I realize that I am making choices in my life that are right for me. I have taken the heat for it over and over again, but still make the choices that are congruent with my heart speak. In doing so, one is often labeled as the mean one or the one who speaks out when he shouldn’t. Even though it needs to be said and everyone knows it, still the ass for saying it. Which is also odd being that I prefer not to speak in the first place. I hate public speaking.
But is it any wonder that I prefer the art of dance where I do not have to speak in public at all? Not at all. I like the abstract world of contemporary imagistic ephemeral moments that take people deep within their own reality to suggest questions that sometimes do not get asked. Yes, I like to pose a question without speaking words but by merely crafting an image to plant the seed of thought. Even if it needs attending to or gets trampled on, I like that way of communicating the best.
And now that I have found the confidence to share my thoughts and ideas through words, it is no wonder that the words are on a page or screen that still keep me at a safe distance in a way that allows a reader to absorb it in the ways in which are best or most appropriate for them. I am finding that communicating in this form is helping me to find the right ways in which to read a different audience than a dance audience. As well as it helps me to even crystalize and create my three dimensional story telling in space.
I have always had a dream that I whispered to the universe of wanting to write a book. And this I am doing. It is taking me time, but I write daily the meanderings of my thoughts on technique and choreography. They are not traditional thoughts by any means. They are rooted in very eastern practices with clearly more unique ways of attending to the art of listening to the process rather than manufacturing a product. I am embracing this as I have embraced the time a lost bag can help a lost heart.
Architecture of the Heart 