Looking beyond the stars
I see you
Looking between the moons
I feel you
Looking within myself
I love you
acceptance, Ballet, Believing, choreography, Conscious Living, contemporary dance, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, Energy, faith, heart, heart path, journey, Mindful Action, Modern, modern dance, Seeing, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal heart, Vulnerable
Perhaps it is time to acknowledge once again the vibrations of my being. I admitted to myself that I am a healer and that in doing so I accepted myself as a being healing both body and soul through the art of dance. This past year has been transformative in ways that I could not have possibly imagined. Ironically, one of the biggest people who have transformed from this shift in conscious acceptance has been me.
The year has been a journey, but the year is now in the past and I stand at a present fork in the road. The choice is to move forward adding to or to move around and circle back. As I face this choice, I realize I must move forward. To accept myself, as just a healer is not the complete fully vibrational being I am. I know there is much missing; much left undone and undiscovered.
What is speaking to me in this moment of choosing is the creative heart. I have been very prolific this year, yes. However, I have not fully realized the wealth of this stream. I have waded, but I have not immersed myself fully and let the currents of this universal creative flow carry me. The choice to make is to travel the path of the river flowing towards the vast ocean of creative wonder and ultimately creative surrender.
I realize that being a healer and acknowledging myself and my gifts in this arena was more a journey of healing myself. I am figuring that out now and will continue to heal others and myself through movement as I add in another claim. I was given a name not too long ago that brought much light and laughter but in really looking at it, the universe is nudging me to accept my name in the role at which I need to embrace. Now, I have chosen to absorb the identity that was gently whispered making the two parts of my being whole.
The path I choose is to float with faith as a healing wizard. An enchanted being healing and crating with magic and wonder. It is time to be bold in my artistic statements letting the vision create transformative enchanted landscapes by the light of the stars. This is but a development of a healer and an expansion of the creative voice no longer fearing the clamoring of the doubtful and fearful crowd.
What magic will be revealed as the healing and kinetic spells are cast? This is the right of waving the creative wand.
Believing, chasing dreams, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, dreams, faith, humility, passion, patience, round and round, Seeing, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being, Writing
Chasing ones dreams is a lot like a dog chasing its tail. We spend so much of our time exhausting ourselves as we move in circles forgetting that we are spiraling inward collapsing in on ourselves.
We then find ourselves completely spent because we have engaged so much of our time and energy going around and around facing our own ass while biting for something that is not actually obtainable. What are we doing trying to take a bite out of our own body or destroying our physical well being to satiate our larger than life ego?
It is ironic that we allow ourselves to get to a place that our ego drives the creative process rather than staying int the flow of creativity and letting our work make itself while we facilitate it’s progress in this particular plane of existence. When we become more important than the work, the work ceases to be important.
It is time for a returning to enchantment. We would be wise to revisit the contemplative space that allows for the creative energies of the universe to flourish and manifest. May we remember what it is like to share in the community of creativity while riding the sky of possibility. Could we dare to open our wings from our hearts so as to sift through the endless creative potential of the universe letting what will be choose us?
Choreography is the art of shaping energy in space. It is the act of allowing the invisible to become visible through the carving of space and time by the effervescent scintillations of the human body.
Through technical training of the body we developmentally awaken the intrinsic musculature by bringing consciousness to the vibrations and energetic mechanics of our musculature system. This deep cultivation is made possible when the pathways of energy are open and connecting back to the Source energy via the superhighway of the center-line.
I have been longing for the magic of returning to the bed in a magical and blissful state of existence in both returning to and leaving it as part of an assigned ritual of my day. I say this only because I have such fond memories of those sacred moments as part of my past and subsequently with two separate loves of my life.
I have lost this enchanted moment in my existence as of late as I tumble into bed exhausted, frustrated, or confused from the day that has just ensued. Perhaps the loss of magic and wonder throughout my day has taken over or replaced the sacred act of nesting and awakening my body. As of late I have been feeling the need to return to this place as perhaps a starting point of reconnection.
In thinking about this I wandered down the path of my life of love with truly the first long term relationship that contained a weaving of two lives and spirits in one of the deepest and grown up ways possible at that time. I was in a relationship with a young man named Troy. He too was a dancer but he had a very strong connection to literature that I did not and opened a vast ocean of insight and magic through his passion and love of words and eloquent story.
Because of his passion and my ever creative dreaming mind, we would come together at night before bed or after an incredible session of love making and play to get lost within the sheets of our bed and whisper thoughts to one another to clear our heads and our hearts. We made a promise early into our relationship that we would not go to bed without expressing our hearts of anything we needed to let go of so that sleep would be ours and solidify the love and space in bed that we shared.
As the relationship grew and much time passed between us, we fell into the ritual of reading to one another allowing for a portal of dreams to enter the dream world and our slumber. We started with the Griffin and Sabine books and read letters to one another as we walked ourselves through those pages. Once devouring that we moved onto other books and material that deepened and enchanted that time together. There was much magic and love shared as well as a deep and rich connection to the world of words and wonder.
And, as many of our lives go, that relationship ran its course and time passed with life brining another young man into my life who brought his own sense of magic and wonder love into my life. This particular person was gifted as a dancer also but possessed the colorful magic of the canvas and visual world. Nathan was such a gifted seer who spent many magical moments listening to his heart and living deeply from and in that space.
Early on in that relationship, dare I say even right away, we started a ritual perhaps inspired by that shared with Troy. Nathan and I awoke to magic and spent much of our time lingering in the bed telling one another stories and creating a whole series of children’s books with vibrant adventures and new mythologies. We would spend literally hours wrapped in one another intertwined in our limbs whispering and giggling as we created worlds within worlds of wonder.
Much of these worlds lived simply as a way of staying in bed with one another simply longing for more time. It was if we could not get enough of one another physically so we made up stories to keep us close. It was an amazing time to suspend time and space allowing the stories of our hearts to bring us closer creating new stories of our own. Perhaps creating the story of us.
Both of these times hold such a tremendous richness and respect for time, place and person. Both of these had there own unique sense of magic, splendor, and enchantment. Both of these whispering to me now as I long for a little more magic in my life and deeper connection to every single moment of my life both awake and at rest.
Perhaps it is time to create a new ritual of return and release. Perhaps it is time to re-enchant my world in many ways that have brought blissful magic to my life in the past. Thank you Troy for inspiring my love of word and my yearning for story. Thank you Nathan for inspiring the color that magic and fantasy can bring to that story. Most importantly, thank you both for allowing me the time in your lives allowing me the space to love and to explore the magic of love. It is now forever a part of the story of my heart.
I used to wish
Yet now there is nothing more to wish for
I once had hope
But there is little left to hope for
I at times found myself lost in dreams
Somehow all the dreams have faded to black
Now there is only this moment
Conscious, clear and definitive
It is in this space I find myself and find reality
What is, is where clarity and truth live
It is here, right now, in this place
The present washes away everything else
As I look up to absorb the light from centuries past, my boys lift their heads to inhale the stories within the wind. We sit, side by side, accepting this thing called now, this moment, this our night.
It has somehow become our ritual. A sacred convergence of who it is we are. This the coming together and combining of our beings revealing the true nature and essence of our spirits.
We are from this earth and we exist under this moon. We have been brought together not really of our own choosing but rather the magnetic draw of like minded souls searching to be together once again returning to one another as we have time after time.
As we walk on the creek, sometimes a muddy and torrent current and at others crystalline and still, we flow in and out of our present configurations. We ebb and flow understanding our present, seeing our past, and visioning our future. We have been together before and will be together again as we have before time after time.
We may have been called by other names, lived in other cultures, existed in human and non human forms, but we have traveled together before and spoke the nature of all things through the unspoken language of the heart; love.
So it is that we travel. So it is that we sit. So it is we look up and see ourselves within the stars. This is how we embark on the language that is not to be spoken. This is how we navigate our journey. We raise our head to comprehend this moment. We free our senses to listen to the stories. We absorb this thing called love by opening our hearts.
So much gets lost in translation when we process movement during the training experience. What our eyes see is not really the reality of what is happening during the activation of technique or the expression of any of our dance forms. It is curial that we see the blue print but in the building of the sensations for activation it is essential we remember the effort used to create movement is very different than what the facade might look like.
This is also very true when we move to teach dance. Training by façade does not necessarily train functionality. How the body actually works to express technique is very different than how the body functions in an isolated joint action or muscular contraction. We have to remember we are an integrated facility that functions only when we are able to find anchors that balance our energies throughout our entire body and understand our physical relationship to space.
Undoubtedly, when I find myself not having success with a certain technical experience it usually reminds me that there is some part of the energetic equation that is not adding up allowing me a grounding anchor for the proper expression of that technical moment. I have to pause for a moment and remind myself that not only is there what I see happening, but there is also the work going on underneath the surface of the movement that is far more important than the actual gesture.
In identifying the grounding elements, which very often is the standing leg as well as the expansion of the spine and directed energy of the arms, I find myself understanding how the movements are truly supposed to feel and then in comprehending that, how they reflect to the observer seeing the movement. Often, as in almost always, it is never what my mind translated when I first absorbed the movement with my eyes.
So how do we begin the process of understanding movement through sensation? One of the primary ways is to stop looking at the movement as a picture, position or map with a destination point. If we can see the pathways of movement and how movement transitions, we will more readily see our bodies begin to fall through space expressing the desired movement rather than trying to manufacture a static moment that is more honestly like a motion picture full of tiny moments strung together via a body falling through space.
Secondly, if we do not concern ourselves with how things should look from the moment we begin to play but rather how they feel, we will find that the form will most certainly follow the functionality of the movement or the technique. This is also why when learning movement it is crucial that you simply move rather than trying to achieve perfection of form before you have even experienced the type of energy needed to do said movement. Most learners hold themselves back from the visceral experience not allowing them to trust in the wisdom of the body. The mind thinks to much holding the body hostage during the learning process.
Lastly, if we are to let go of our ego while learning we might see the material for what it is and not for what we want it to be or think it should be. Many times in activating the proper movement for understanding technique we must do it as is rather than thinking we need to do 6 turns or legs must be a certain height. All too often we are searching for validity in how high or how much rather than valuing things for what they are.
And would that not be the same for us in our own lives if we could stop, see what it really is and the experience it with the feelings that it will allow? If only we could let go to listen to what is really being said so as not to lose the information during our translation. Perhaps ultimately what we really need to do is stop trying to translate at all and just simply accept and absorb what is.