Thirty Day’s of Thoughts: Day Six

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faith, humanity, inspiration, learning, lessons learned, life, me, observations, society, society and culture, thoughts, truth

I am continually reminded, one lesson after another, that my life is really about choice. This is no secret nor is it new. Not even new to me. Yet, I am being profoundly reminded again and again, and perhaps more profoundly every day through a conscious focus on gratitude. This shift towards ownership changes so much about our hearts as well as the way in which we are able to see others.

Mind you, I share this from a place of openness. I fully realize there are many situations that are presented to people on a regular basis and that many opportunities are not available for people simply because of a society that does not actual live the life of equality and justice for all. And this in itself is heartbreaking. Because I do know that often times choice isn’t even an option and to expect people to “make choices” or “make better choices” reinforces the us and them, better than and supremest sensibilities. If in fact we were all equal, we could all afford to make the kinds of choices that were in everyones personal and societal best interests.

What I am sharing though is the moment one realizes that they are fortunate to be able to make choices. This realization reinforces the need for me to make the better choices on how I treat others or how I might be of help or service to others or the cause of equality and justice. It is necessary that I must do things to see people, understand people and to do the best that I can do in order to support people in the ways of their heart and in the light of love.

These choices are not only helping others, but in the end, they are benefitting me in ways that one can’t even begin to comprehend. Many people speak of this as karma, I think of it as humanities greatest gift. The universe rewards those who give love with love. The universe rewards light with light. The universe returns more than in kind, it returns in abundance. It is emotional and spiritual tithing that is a real thing just as it is in financial terms. When you give of the heart, either tangible or intangible, you always receive far more than you can imagine in all kinds of magical ways.

I am grateful for this life. I am grateful for my work. I am grateful for my health and well being and more importantly, I am grateful for being able to be at peace with myself and the life I am living: Consciously opening the soul to allow the light of the universe and the love of fellow beings flow through me.

I choose this. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose goodness. I choose light. I choose my perspective. I choose responsibility. I choose accountability. I choose to accept myself and my work along with my words as being important and that they matter. I choose that you matter. I choose this amazing life.

Is It Enough?

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choreography, Creativity, Dance, growth, lessons learned, modern dance, process, society and culture, spirit, Technique

Is it enough to be creative and to make work without the expectation of praise?

Is it enough to just do something because you love to do it and the work itself gives you joy?

Is it enough to live simply not wanting to hold a position of power or recognition?

Is it enough to exist as you are despite being incongruent with society as a whole?

Is it enough to desire to live in this moment, right here and right now?

I have been asking myself these questions as of late and for every single one of them my answer continues to be, yes. I keep coming back to the simple fact that I am enough. I am constantly reminded that what it is I do is enough. What it is I make is enough. What I believe is enough.

This is not to say that I am complacent with where I am at. Far from it actually. Yet, I do feel the need to honor who I am and what it is I do. This should not be belittled simply because I haven’t fought tooth and nail to persuade or justify my existence to you in order to believe in it or me.  I often wonder if we spend more time selling ourselves than actually investing in our work. Our overly politicized culture trapped in a façade of success is really killing the creative process and a sense of equality and diversity in our work and in thought.

Is it a wonder that so many things are passing fads? Are we surprised by the sheer gluttony of our disposable culture? Where has the craft and ritual of process gone? Where has the compassion and understanding for craft gone? Why is it we are unable to see who it is we are within what we make rather than what we can get out of it or where it will take us?

Thinking about all this brought me back some years to a talk back after a concert of Trisha Brown’s at the Harold Washington Library Theater presented by the Dance Center of Columbia College. There was a question that Shirley Mordine asked Trisha regarding the making of her work and who she makes it for. I was surprise by this question but at the same time understood its context. Many people know her as a very intellectual and conceptual cutting edge choreographer and I believe the question was designed to get at what kind of audience she makes her work for.

What surprised me was her response. She very quickly answered that she makes her work for her and for her friends. At the time I thought that this might be why many people are not quite able to grasp her post-modern conceptual approach to work and thought it a very interesting response. Yet now, I believe the answer was something so much more simple and true. What I think she meant is what I am beginning to understand for myself now. She was making work that fulfilled her and that would engage the people she loved around her in conversation and thought about life, art and aesthetics.

When I think of myself now and go back the very questions I presented earlier I realize perhaps I am coming back to what I missed as a young dancer and choreographer hungry for success. What I missed was clarity of being over a desire to be acknowledged or recognized. What I understand now is that I no longer wish that recognition, I just wish to make and share with those that I love engaging in the art and act of making something beautiful.