The Magnitude of Being

Tags

Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, healing, heart, heart knowledge, heart path, heartstrong, love, pathways, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart

I am overwhelmed by this acceptance of being. Truly humbled by the magnitude of being in all honesty. The deeper I go into this journey of the heart I am reminded of the incredible richness of simply being on this journey of living. There are times when I can’t believe I have been given these gifts. 

Although my entire life has been a unique journey of discovering who I am at my deepest levels, there has always been a sense of childlike knowing that supported all of my actions and choices. To be honest, I have always felt I was looked after and cared for by outside forces that I never quite knew how to speak of. And yet now, at another transformative moment in my life, I feel very much cradled by an energy so magnificent that it often brings me to tears. 

Yes, I get so moved by the energy and love that I simply can’t believe that I am on this adventure of becoming again and again. Just when I think I don’t know the way or that answers are eluding me, I get wrapped in love and reminded that I am a child of an ever loving universe and it’s desire for my well-being. 

The pandemic was a catalyst for great change and heart work. I chose to go deep within rather than to reinvent myself in the wake of chaos. It was a conscious choice to heal and to let go of whatever I no longer needed or served me. It was a choice to not pretend that all was right in the world but rather embrace the moment as a time to return to many of the things I lost along the way of chasing; racing for a dream of the ego rather than the resonating truth of my being. 

Over the last three years I have found a new relationship with myself that is allowing the space for perhaps the greatest shift I will make for myself. How I have perceived myself and my work is now being re-examined and re-evaluated. This return to being is being felt on many levels and within all of my work both personally and professionally. 

Reuniting with dreams lost, a heart broken and a flame dwindling; now is the time to reignite the light within and retell the story. Rebuild the dream and rekindle the light that led me so far and to so many wonderful places. 

It’s funny because at so many times and experiences I found out how naïve I was and yet realize now that this perception was wrong all along. I knew where my heart was, what my hands could do and what instinctively drove my creativity. And although I didn’t know the world, the universe knew me. Letting the world change me and quiet the heart and dampen the dream was the shame and guilt from simply living and creating from the heart. 

And so now that there is a shift back to the heart and the work of love, I am witness to the shedding of so much pain, hurt and fear. I am witness to the letting go and lightening of these burdens that have been strangling the heart and the voice. It’s time to sing once again the sweet victories of being and to celebrate once again the magnitude of being. It’s time to be the light and energy that is truly what lives within. It’s a time of pivot and a time to be free. 

Wideview Work

Tags

becoming, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, joy, Soul to Soul, universal consciousness, universal heart

Light on spiders web louder than the string of a violin

Birds swell softer than foot to grass

Blue meets forever, if in fact there is such thing as blue

 

Duality

Tags

allowing, Believing, Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, heart, heart path, journey, Magic, Soul to Soul, spirit, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

Duality, rather the extreme of duality, is significant and yet insignificant. It’s own nature diminishes any division by encouraging, and perhaps welcoming the unification of all things. We are taught this and that. Light and dark. As if these things are separate and somehow different. Yet, truthfully, they are on a spectrum within a field of multiplicity of no right or no wrong. Everything just is.

This is not to say that complacency is our present, but being present washes away complacency itself and promotes action for equality and balance. Walk in the presence of your heart and speak with the hearts greatest truth and desire. The solutions to your perceived division will present themselves through the magic of truth.

The spells we cast on ourselves are the ones that bind us to the differences between us. Perhaps it is in accepting the true nature of reality in that all things are one is the only way to break the spell of condition and oppression. Allow for the unification of all things and you will allow yourself to walk as one with the world.

Your Light

Tags

Believing, Conscious Living, Courageous Vulnerability, faith, heart, Love Between Men, Soul to Soul, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

There is a light inside you. It shines so brightly that often times others are not capable of looking at it directly as it blinds their unstable spirits. There is always great hope that others might see the truth and compassion that feeds your light and be able to shine as brightly. Yet, many cannot face that truth and express their own truths simply because the flame inside of them might not be burning as brightly. Let this not discourage your illumination. Continue to let your light call others home so that they might find the inspiration to travel a path of enlightenment and compassion. You are a beacon living fully, reminding others there is hope in the goodness of nature and beauty in the simplicity of being. Shine on beautiful boy. Shine on.

Misplaced Bag

Tags

Believing, Conscious Living, contemporary dance, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, Energy, heart path, journey, Magic, Mindful Action, modern dance, Teaching, universal consciousness, universal heart

I made it to Paris with only one hitch. My bag somehow took a flight to Charlotte instead of Philly with me. As I was the last one standing at CDG, I soon realized I had an issue. All my clothes and toiletries were still in the states as I stood at carousel 3 waiting for my bag. Calmly. I waited.

I then went to the baggage claim area attendant to make a report and file the missing luggage. This was when I was told that someone in Richmond put my bag on a plane to where I was not. Isn’t that against TSA regulations? I digress.

Anyway, on a positive note, I only had my bags on my shoulders to carry on the RER and Metro to find my apartment. So I started my journey a little lighter than expected. The good thing was that if all went well, someone would hand deliver my outfits,  unmentionables and toiletries directly to my door. Yet, I admit I was nervous that there was no real way to contact me and since I was staying in an apartment rather than a hotel, it would be a little more difficult to actually get the bad delivered.

At present I sit waiting in my apartment. I do know the bag made it to Paris and is supposedly on its way to being delivered. I have stayed at the apartment save the time I went out shopping for coffee, breakfast goodies and a few other nash items. Still no word or call. They do have the land line, but I know they didn’t call while I was gone as there were no messages left and no record of incoming calls.

The rest of the day has been full of classical music wafting throughout the apartment with much writing and reading on my part. I have been forced to take a day of quiet contemplation and rest. Much needed rest and much desired quiet time as well. I often forget how much I like quiet and alone time. As I mentioned before in my writing, I do like embracing my introvert behaviors and often do not honor them enough. Clearly someone at RIC decided I needed to get reacquainted with that part of myself.

None the less, I am here and in perfect bliss. Staying in an apartment in the 3rd Arr. in Paris while I have time to think and to expand my current understanding of time, I am in a Scott heaven. It is so nice to be back here and in a place that is congruent with my pace of life and with the workings and wirings of my being.

I am often in a position where I question myself within the confines of my culture and feel as if the way in which my brain works, I process, and desire to walk the path of my life is somehow not as good as others. Yes, I often feel as if the way in which I am put together is oddly enough not acknowledged or honored.

Living a non-western life within a western culture is a little difficult at times. Being an introvert in an extrovert world is also challenging as introverts are seldom recognized for their thought process or quiet and contemplative ways. As if it wasn’t enough being a second class citizen who is a dancer and gay at that. Adding up all the marks against me I often wonder why I haven’t given up all together?

Yet, I know the answer to that. I do. I realize that I am making choices in my life that are right for me. I have taken the heat for it over and over again, but still make the choices that are congruent with my heart speak. In doing so, one is often labeled as the mean one or the one who speaks out when he shouldn’t. Even though it needs to be said and everyone knows it, still the ass for saying it. Which is also odd being that I prefer not to speak in the first place. I hate public speaking.

But is it any wonder that I prefer the art of dance where I do not have to speak in public at all? Not at all. I like the abstract world of contemporary imagistic ephemeral moments that take people deep within their own reality to suggest questions that sometimes do not get asked. Yes, I like to pose a question without speaking words but by merely crafting an image to plant the seed of thought. Even if it needs attending to or gets trampled on, I like that way of communicating the best.

And now that I have found the confidence to share my thoughts and ideas through words, it is no wonder that the words are on a page or screen that still keep me at a safe distance in a way that allows a reader to absorb it in the ways in which are best or most appropriate for them. I am finding that communicating in this form is helping me to find the right ways in which to read a different audience than a dance audience. As well as it helps me to even crystalize and create my three dimensional story telling in space.

I have always had a dream that I whispered to the universe of wanting to write a book. And this I am doing. It is taking me time, but I write daily the meanderings of my thoughts on technique and choreography. They are not traditional thoughts by any means. They are rooted in very eastern practices with clearly more unique ways of attending to the art of listening to the process rather than manufacturing a product. I am embracing this as I have embraced the time a lost bag can help a lost heart.

 

Present Living and Loving

Tags

Conscious Living, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Dream, faith, heart, heart path, hope, love, Mindful Action, path, present living and loving, universal consciousness, universal heart

The best way to speak of love is to live in love. The best way to share a dream is to live in the presence of it. The only way one can truly speak of anything is through their actions. Words are abstract intellectual musings that do not compare to the present moment of the action. There is an immediacy in the art of living that cannot be matched by representations of what has passed. Spend time in the presence of love and in the fulfillment of your hearts dreams. It is here that we resonate with every other single humane being who has ever been or will ever be.

 

Returning to Balance

Tags

Conscious Living, Courageous Vulnerability, heart, light, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart, well being

The haze has dissipated along with the weight in my breath. There is a lightness in the heart as well as a clearing of the organs. I am returning to the body of my balanced being as I commit to better practices and peace. There is much health to be found in the expansion of time.

I am not sure when the compression started or even how it got to be so heavy. Yet, those of us who endure and press on, we miss the signs our body speaks. We are busy working so diligently deepening our engagement as well as the engagement and investment of those around us that we sometimes forget the stillness that requires balance. I forget to return to my practice.

There is a remarkable difference in my heart when there is space in-between time and consciousness within moments. I appreciate the vastness of now and remember that this is where the creative voice enjoys being most of all. This is where I prefer to walk without walking, create without forcing and listen to the lost language of space. I always seem to find the vibration of the heart here.

How do I carry this sensibility with me always? How can I establish boundaries and allow myself to still be productive and engaged, yet allow for the amount of space necessary for lightness of breath and good health? Can I listen even more to the organs that sustain my life? Can I answer their requests as they are far more important than my desires of my intellect?

Perhaps the wisdom of our spirit does not sit in the brain at all. Perhaps the wisdom of our lives is housed in the very organs of our bodies. Can we meditate on them? Can we honor the gods that live inside of them? Can we worship ourselves at the source of our being rather than the ego that lives in the mind?

Lost Language of Space

Tags

Ballet, Believing, choreography, Conscious Living, contemporary dance, courage, Courageous Vulnerability, Creative Flow, Dance, Energy, heart, heart path, journey, joy, light, love, Modern, modern dance, Soul to Soul, spirit, spirituality, universal consciousness, universal heart

There is a language lost inside the chaos of contradictory images of space and time. We are a drift in a time of dissolution. Floating aimlessly amidst the sea of “noise” that drowns out the voice of spirit and truth for the survival of the human spirit. Now, more than ever, is there a need for the investigation and cultivation of the quiet. A pressing need to find the distilled reason for being. I can think of no better time than the present to question personal behavior and claim a responsibility for ourselves and our spirit. No better time to accept our own role as the leader and director of our life and lively hood. It is too late for blame. It is too late to wait around for someone or something to bail us out. It is we who should help ourselves in order to help those we love, along with the things we love to do, thus allowing us to fulfill our spirit and bring us joy. It is important to embark on a journey in which we meander our personal labyrinth to sift through the chaos. It is important for us to press what does not matter away from the center of our beings. Chaos has cluttered the space around us and the space within us is collapsing. Fill the space within with an energy and light that will allow for an expansion of the spirit. Allow the space to be a sanctuary and sacred space for you to be; safe and flowing with the freedom for the mind and central nervous system to speak clearly to the body for healing and well-being. As we create space within, the space without will be created. When we find the space to live, we will find the space to listen. When we find the time to listen, we will hear the lost voice of our soul and start living the life that is ours. Finally we will find freedom to live the life that our spirit has been trying to live since the day we were born. This is freedom. This is the desire of the heart.

 

Words for the dancers of “Bridging the River of Timelessness”

Tags

Ballet, choreography, Conscious Living, contemporary dance, Dance, Dream, heart path, hope, journey, light, Mindful Action, Modern, path, patience, Soul to Soul, spirituality, training, universal consciousness, universal heart

Bridging the River of Timelessness

 

With each step, we are pushed upwards towards the heavens. With each breath, heaven absorbs us. We live in a constant state of rise and fall, evolution and demise as well as continual transformation. This is what creates the movement that guides us all towards the ultimate freedom of transcendence.

 

In these quiet, contemplative steps, we must be mindful of the very moments we inhabit. These moments help us to understand the magnitude of our being in order to recognize the bridges needed to cross the river of timelessness.

 

There needs to be no fear for what is to come. That which is our present, is the angel that keeps us safe. In this present moment of awareness, we understand all things as time ceases to have importance. It is this moment that the universe allows you to glimpse the radiant glory of timelessness itself. And because of this insight, you know, in the deepest parts of your spirit, that there is nothing to fear for you are the light of the universe and the universe is the light of you.

 

A Moon to Exist Under

Tags

Ballet, Believing, Conscious Living, contemporary dance, Creative Flow, Creativity, Dance, darkness, journey, light, Magic, Modern, moon, moon beam, Movement, poetry, radiance, space, speed, spirituality, twilight, universal consciousness, view, well being

moon beams from an eastern twilight sky

glowing magically with a radiance untouchable

floating above a cavern so vast lies an eternity of space

a silence so thick and dense there is to be no movement

and still, time passes through like a speeding train

racing towards no end

breaking all barriers to exist