I have been longing for the magic of returning to the bed in a magical and blissful state of existence in both returning to and leaving it as part of an assigned ritual of my day. I say this only because I have such fond memories of those sacred moments as part of my past and subsequently with two separate loves of my life.
I have lost this enchanted moment in my existence as of late as I tumble into bed exhausted, frustrated, or confused from the day that has just ensued. Perhaps the loss of magic and wonder throughout my day has taken over or replaced the sacred act of nesting and awakening my body. As of late I have been feeling the need to return to this place as perhaps a starting point of reconnection.
In thinking about this I wandered down the path of my life of love with truly the first long term relationship that contained a weaving of two lives and spirits in one of the deepest and grown up ways possible at that time. I was in a relationship with a young man named Troy. He too was a dancer but he had a very strong connection to literature that I did not and opened a vast ocean of insight and magic through his passion and love of words and eloquent story.
Because of his passion and my ever creative dreaming mind, we would come together at night before bed or after an incredible session of love making and play to get lost within the sheets of our bed and whisper thoughts to one another to clear our heads and our hearts. We made a promise early into our relationship that we would not go to bed without expressing our hearts of anything we needed to let go of so that sleep would be ours and solidify the love and space in bed that we shared.
As the relationship grew and much time passed between us, we fell into the ritual of reading to one another allowing for a portal of dreams to enter the dream world and our slumber. We started with the Griffin and Sabine books and read letters to one another as we walked ourselves through those pages. Once devouring that we moved onto other books and material that deepened and enchanted that time together. There was much magic and love shared as well as a deep and rich connection to the world of words and wonder.
And, as many of our lives go, that relationship ran its course and time passed with life brining another young man into my life who brought his own sense of magic and wonder love into my life. This particular person was gifted as a dancer also but possessed the colorful magic of the canvas and visual world. Nathan was such a gifted seer who spent many magical moments listening to his heart and living deeply from and in that space.
Early on in that relationship, dare I say even right away, we started a ritual perhaps inspired by that shared with Troy. Nathan and I awoke to magic and spent much of our time lingering in the bed telling one another stories and creating a whole series of children’s books with vibrant adventures and new mythologies. We would spend literally hours wrapped in one another intertwined in our limbs whispering and giggling as we created worlds within worlds of wonder.
Much of these worlds lived simply as a way of staying in bed with one another simply longing for more time. It was if we could not get enough of one another physically so we made up stories to keep us close. It was an amazing time to suspend time and space allowing the stories of our hearts to bring us closer creating new stories of our own. Perhaps creating the story of us.
Both of these times hold such a tremendous richness and respect for time, place and person. Both of these had there own unique sense of magic, splendor, and enchantment. Both of these whispering to me now as I long for a little more magic in my life and deeper connection to every single moment of my life both awake and at rest.
Perhaps it is time to create a new ritual of return and release. Perhaps it is time to re-enchant my world in many ways that have brought blissful magic to my life in the past. Thank you Troy for inspiring my love of word and my yearning for story. Thank you Nathan for inspiring the color that magic and fantasy can bring to that story. Most importantly, thank you both for allowing me the time in your lives allowing me the space to love and to explore the magic of love. It is now forever a part of the story of my heart.